My Wonderful Ceaser, unexpected death Options

[ceaserthings]

I feel better knowing that I am not the only one who have had a pet die unexpectedly.
I thought for sure that my 12 year old Beage Ceaser whom I have shared a decade with, would quietly go in peace with his head resting on my lap under a tree from natural old age....But no...it didn't end up that way.
Ceaser started to vomit one afternoon and would not stop, I decided to give it the night thinking he was just ill from too much srapfood...
( I had fed him Chineses food..and is I swear I will never eat Chinese again. In the past, he had alwasy been fine but this time the portion was too much. )
Ceaser started to vomit friday afternoon and I called the vet that day to schedule an appointment, they were full and recommended the emergency vet. I decided to just give it the night.....and to check him in the morning.
When I woke up the next day, he was in horrible shape and I rushed him to the emergency vet...things happend so fast and I was in severe denial when the Dr was telling me how bad he really was. Too much grease and oil for his pancreas to handle resulted in an acute Pancreatitis whith a possible perfurated ulcer which resulted in overall severe perontitis and shock. He died a few hours later with me there. I had to go home real quick thinking he was going to make it but rushed right back per the Vet's order. He was waiting for me to pass. I got there and spent some time with him, spoke to him and petted him and then he went into a cardiac arrest. Long story short....I witnessed his soul leave his body and I believe that Ceaser waiting for me was his gift to me. He confirmed that our connection was real...our bond was real and that we truy loved and cared for aach other unconditionally.
It has been a month now and the acute emotional pain is slowly going away but I do miss him very much.
The guilt of why I didn't take him in sooner is still there and the guilt and regret of feeding him the chinese is even bigger.
The heavy feelings of loss and longing for the dog is greater than ever. First comes the initial attack of pain then the steady pain...then pain at times and then guilt, regret and the that pain leaves but another pain called longing starts; burdened by guilt and regret. So it is not easy and I know he is in Heaven and I enjoy his visits and when I get those "visits"...I feel much better and feel very blessed to be able to enjoy this relationship at another level!

I just wanted to share......I am working on his scrapbook and other projects that helps me re-live Ceaser's life.


[/sup][color="#8B0000"][/color][/sub][/i]

[lynette]

So sorry for your loss. I have beagles too.

We lost Lily unexpectedly last June (almost a year ago). We are not sure exactly what happened, whether she choked on a bone or she swallowed a bee. I don't know, but I know we tried everything to keep her with us, but unfortunately nothing worked and we watched the life leave her eyes, and her soul leave her body. I feel so much intense pain and guilt for the way she died. The thought that she choked on a bone haunts me (we checked her throat and could feel nothing, so we are not sure what happened.) All I know is that I am so paranoid now about everything my babies get into.

I know how you feel, except we didn't get a chance to say goodbye to her, she slipped away so fast. It'll be a year this June 24th. I can't believe how time has flown. I still cry for her so much. Then to top things off, less than a week after we lost Lily, we found out our other dog, Hunny, had cancer. We put her to sleep April 4th of this year. It's been a very tough year, and I understand too well the pain you describe. All the flucutations in feelings, and then the longing. I find the longing the worst part. It hurts so much to know that you can't hold them or kiss them. And my babies have only visited me once. I just hope that they are not mad at me, and hope that they are just too busy to think about me.

I only hope that my beagles (3 of them) live to be a ripe old age. Hunny and Lily were both only eight when they flew to heaven.

My condolences to you.

Take care.