Oliver And Buddy Options

[rollie pollie ol...]

I'm so torn on what I will have to do. My dog, a now 7 year old golden retriever named Buddy, was diagnosed with heart and kidney problems that were curable by itself, but would affect one another if treated. He also has a possibility of cancer. we were told it was best to put him to sleep that week of March, but he seemed like he was still battling to live, so we didnt. We've had to "force feed" him liquidized dog food for the past 2 months. He's lived longer than the vet said he would, but now he's starting to wear. He's alive but he stands up with difficulty and sometimes refuses to lay down because i'm guessing it hurts, he's really really skinny. I know it's almost his time, but he's been with me for so long that I don't want to let him go. I read on here someone said, taking the final step is the final act of love, and i take that to the heart because i know this is what's best for him, let him go, let him rest. I'm gonna miss him so much, his positive attitude about everything, his greet after school, the wag of his tail (even now that he's so weak, he still manages to shake it when i call his name). I love you Buddy, and I'm going to miss you so much. April 3, 2002 -


In March when we found out buddy was sick, I had gotten a kitten earlier that week. He was like a little beacon of happiness, not meant to replace buddy because no one ever could, but to allow me to cope with what would have to be done. He was a little long haired tuxedo kitten with a pink "button" nose and some wide eyes. It looked like he'd been electricuted or something, he was amazing. When it was time to sleep i would make a triangle with my arm and he would curl up inside of it from day one. He followed me everywhere, he talked to me, i know he loved me and i love him. He began to stop eating his food, which was wierd since he always loved his food, but ate small portions of our cat's food. We didn't really think much of it until he stopped eating that. by this time he was always sleeping, always lethargic. I decided to take him to the vet where the possibility of FIP came up and a test was taken. I wouldnt get the results until the next day, but that night i'll never forget. He was on my bed like usual and he jumped off to use the litterbox, he fell face flat because he was so weak. I knew this wasn't good. the next day after school i recieved news that it was FIP. I knew what had to be done. When I came home i found him on my bed just laying there. I spent time with him until it was time to take him to the vet. I decided to stay in the room when they were going to put him to sleep. He was so anemic that the injection wouldn't go in, it took four times. I wanted to be there for my little boy, I was there when he came home, i wanted to be there when he was at peace. i remember staring into his eyes, and i didnt realize when he was finally gone. I know i did the right thing, I just miss him so much, he really was one of a kind. I love you Rollie Pollie Ollie, I hope your enjoying your new life. January 3, 2009 - May 5, 2009


I cope by telling myself how i gave them the best life i could give them. knowing that they knew i loved them. It's hard losing two pets at such small intervals, but it's for the best. I know i loved them, and im sure they know it too. God works in mysterious ways, currently I've got my hands full with 4 little bundles of joy. my manager found 4 5 week old kittens in her backyard and called me. I decided to take them in and they are just so amazing. I know i'm going to need something to keep a smile on my face when buddy has to leave us, and i'm happy it's them.

I will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact
So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass
I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky
You will see your beauty every moment that you rise

[lynette]

So very sorry for the pain you are feeling. I know how it feels. I too just lost two dogs. We lost Lily, an 8-year-old spaniel cross, suddenly and unexpectedly last June 24th. Then just a week later we found out that our 7-year-old golden retriever Hunny had cancer. Losing Lily was devastating, but then finding out that we might lose Hunny too was a nightmare. It turned out that she had a non-spreading cancer, so she ended up having two toes on her front left foot removed. They weren't able to get all the cancer cells though, so it was always in the back of our minds that it would come back. But as the days roll by, you hope for another month or two, then a few more. Well, we noticed the cancer had returned at Christmas. The tumour was growing again. We knew that if it came back, that we would have to make that awful decision to let her go. But I had a very hard time with that, because all she had wrong with her was a bad foot! The tumour kept growing, and by the beginning of March it was getting so big I was afraid that it would split open like it did the first time. We took her to another vet for a second opinion. I knew there was nothing more we could do for her. Her only option, it she was a candidate, was to remove her whole leg. I made a decision last year, that we would never do that. She was now 8, she was overweight and had arthritis in her hips, she would have no quality of life with three legs. No matter how much I loved her, I couldn't just watch her lay around and not be able to get up. Anyway, we took her March 6 to another vet. This time the cancer had spread. It was now in her lymph nodes. She had a huge lump on her chest. There was no hope for her now. The vet wanted to put her to sleep that day, but there was no way I was ready to let her go yet. Besides, my daughter hadn't said her goodbyes. So we took her home, with pain killers. I never knew before if she was in pain or not, I didn't think so, not all the time anyway. But the lump was just getting bigger every day, it must have been uncomfortable.

I tried cutting back on the pain killers one day, she didn't do very well. She started coughing and she started this obsessive licking, which really freaked me out. So I upped her pain meds again. The cancer was spreading, lumps were popping up in different places. I couldn't bear the thought of having to let her go, but I knew the time was coming and soon. I could see it in her eyes. She still seemed to be in good spirits, but I think the pain killers were masking her pain very well. Making that final decision was by far the worst thing I've ever had to do. The day we had to make the call, I cried all day long, but I couldn't bear to see her suffer. I've seen a dog suffer with cancer - it is not nice at all. I had been so stressed out since Christmas. We were living day by day. I prayed that she would slip away in her sleep, but she kept hanging on. I believe she didn't want to leave our other pups whom she had just met a few months earlier. We gave Hunny her angel wings April 4, 2009. I choose to believe that Hunny and Lily are together again. That they are playing and running in the fields at the Rainbow Bridge. I hope that one day we will all be together again.

There is nothing easy about putting our babies to sleep. I hope that I never have to do it ever again. But I know in my heart that I had no choice. I don't know how much longer she would have hung on. Maybe just another week or two. And I continue to agonize over whether we did it at the right time. I don't think any time is the right time, but could we have waited another week or two? I don't know. I sure wish we could have. But honestly, I was afraid that she would really begin to suffer and take it out on the other dogs., plus she had a big open tumour. She was constantly licking it. And one more lump had appeared on the back of her neck. It was really spreading fast now. How long before it hit her brain? There would be no way I could handle that!!! No way!

I miss Hunny every day. Even though it was the toughest decision I've ever had to make and I wish I never had to, we were living day by day. Every morning I would wake up and if I didn't hear her, would wonder if she was still with us. Every night I would wonder if she would be with us the next day. It was very stressful. I spent two months last year bandaging her foot at least once every day. And I would gladly do it all again to have her with me again. But, it was terribly hard. That sounds selfish, but it is hard on everyone.

Of course I cried when she left us, but I had cried so many tears since she got sick. Knowing that she is with Lily is the only thing that brings me peace now. I wish that I hadn't put her to sleep, but I could never have watched my baby suffer. She deserved more respect than that. She deserved to die with some dignity. I've heard of people who are so sick that they wish their lives would end. Infact, my husband lost an uncle just a month and a half before we lost Hunny, and he wanted someone to just shoot him. His cancer had taken away his quality of life and his dignity. I could not let Hunny die like that.

I found this website the Wednesday before we let Hunny go, and it was a life saver in a way. There are people here who have such a way with words, it is just like they are here with you with an arm around your shoulder. I know I would have made it through without them, but they very definitely helped me make it through the toughest part which for me was making that final decision.

I know I'm not much comfort to you, I'm still missing my babies so much. I still need to tak about them. But please know that I understand how difficult it is to let them go. I would have held on to Hunny longer if I could have, but she had an open tumour on her foot and there was nothing more we could do. We could have demassed it I guess, but it was just growing so quickly. I didn't want to put her through anymore than she had to. And I knew she missed her sister Lily. I had been telling her for a few weeks before that Lily was waiting for her and that she'd have no more pain or aches. That she could run again. I think Hunny was ready to go. I don't think she wanted to go, but I do think she was ready.

Letting them go with their dignity is probably the greatest final thing we can do for them. It was extremely hard, but I don't think I would want to suffer to the very end.

Loving them means letting them go, I guess. In a way it is the final act of love. Like I said I've watched a dog die of cancer, and I would never have let Hunny go through that. That was so awful. A nightmare. I have no regrets with Hunny or Lily. They both had a great life with us. I just wish we would have been able to say "so long" to Lily. We had many months to let Hunny know how we felt about her. She knew we loved her. They both did. And now they are happy together again.

Anyway, I know whatever decision you make will ba very tough one. Your babies know you love them. You'll be in my thoughts. Take care.