Feeling Worse 3 Months Later? Options

[kanecutter]

Just wondering if anyone else out there has had this happen. I had my dog euthanized on Feb. 4, 2009. It was Kidney Desease, I was so devastated I could not stay in my own skin in my home for about 3 weeks. Could not bear her absence. She was what I lived for, I guess. Now over 3 months later, I am backsliding and feeling even worse. But this time nothing helps. No people, no going out shopping, no walking...all old coping mechanisms that I used when she first died don't work this time at all.
Does anyone else feel this bad even after more than 3 months? I got a therapist because I just could not deal with the pain alone any longer. She's someone to talk to but still....feel like dying. Can't seem to find anything worth living for without my girl.
Please let me know if anyone else felt this way. Or, else I think I may be losing my mind.

thank you!

[AngelCareOne]

Thank you all for such comforting encouragement.

DOTTIE, yes, I do remember talking to you before and I did go to each link you gave me back then. I also am alone and I lost my mobility just before I had to have my little girl put to sleep. She and I would always run rabbits together at her beagle club. Ruptured my spine just before putting her down. Losing mobility makes it so much harder to cope, I understand it must be awful for you, also.

I just thought that by now, the pain would be less, but instead it is worse. And you should never be embarrassed to tell your story about going in and out of reality for a time. It just shows how strong you are to finally be starting to recover.

I think it is the beautiful weather here.......I went to hell and back in order to purchase this place for my little BEa so she would have so much land to retire with me. I fenced it all in for her. one full acre, and she never got to see it or chase the chipmunks and rabbits here. She's gone, and I finally have what I always wanted for her and I. but without her it is too sad.

Unfortunately I cannot get another dog or anything because I only have one good knee left and now my spine is gone and I refuse to trust surgery. So, I fear not being capable of caring for another dog.

Well, I guess I have whined enough over this situation for now.

Thanks so much for listening.

I hope to talk to you soon.

Paula

{{{{{PAULA}}}}} I CLEARLY REMEMBER EVERYTHING YOU SAID, DEAR ONE. HAVING ALMOST TOTAL RECALL IS BOTH A BLESSING AND A CURSE I WOULD SAY.

HEY, YOU AREN'T WHINING IN THE LEAST. YOU COME AND TALK AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN ABOUT ANYTHING YOUR HEART WANTS AND NEEDS TO EXPRESS. HONEST AND FOR TRUE. BLESS YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS TO ME, PAULA. BUT, AREN'T WE THE GIMPY ONES, YOU AND I? BOTH OF US WITH OUR DIFFERENT DISABILITIES WHICH CERTAINLY CAN MAKE COPING OR EVEN TRYING TO COPE SO MUCH MORE DIFFICULT.

MY GOD, I FEEL SO BAD THAT YOU FINALLY SET UP THE PERFECT HAVEN FOR YOUR FUR KID AND YOURSELF THEN SHE PASSES TO THE RAINBOW BRIDGE. HOW TERRIBLY YOU MISS HER. NOW, I KNOW IT'S BIG TIME REALLY, REALLY HARD FOR YOU BUT I'M GONNA ASK YOU ANYWAY. PLEASE TRY TO IMAGINE, IF YOU WILL, HOW IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR HER HAD YOU NOT COME ALONG. YOU SEE, I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME THINK HOW IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR HER HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR YOU AND ALL YOU DID FOR HER EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE SO INJURED. MY GOSH, ITS LIKE COSMIC KARMA THAT SHE WAS SO VERY, VERY FORTUNATE THAT YOU CHOSE TO BE HER MOMMY!

THIS IS SUCH A GOSH AWFUL TIME FOR YOU ALL WAY ROUND. OY. PLEASE HANG IN THERE, KEEP COMING BACK AND TALK, TALK, TALK. DAD GUM IT, WE'RE GONNA FIND THAT HEALING PATH. MAYBE NOT TOMORROW, NEXT WEEK OR NEXT MONTH. IT TAKES LOTS AND LOTS OF TIME AND YOU MUST BE KIND TO YOURSELF AND ALLOW ALL THE TIME YOU NEED.

YOU AND YOUR ANGEL FUR KID ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. I WISH YOU PEACE!!!



Always,
Dottie xoxoxox