I Am So Sad And Lonely Without My Raja, I lost my girl on Tuesday May 5 Options

[raja's mom]

Hi Everyone
I am new here and searching desperately for some comfort. I put my dalmatian of almost 13 years to sleep
on Tuesday unexpected after finding out she was dying of cancer. This was the first animal I have ever
put to sleep. It was so hard to see the life drain from her body. I know I did the kindest act but it sure
doesn't feel like it. I have the guilt today. She was so clingy the last couple weeks to the point I was
irritated. If I had only known. I have a husband who shows no emotion and tells me to just get over it.
It's just a dog. But I know she wasn't just a dog. She was my best friend. Everyday!
I miss her so terribly. She has to be in heaven. I just hope she is okay.
Thanks for listening.

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[AngelBear'sLuv]

I know how much pain you're in after losing your beautiful girl and best friend Raja, and the extreme guilt over having to put her to sleep. I'm so sorry. It is by far one of the most difficult things in life we ever have to do, and it goes against everything that our hearts and souls desire, which is only to protect and care for and love her. I still grieve and struggle with guilt over putting my best friend, Abbeymae, down in January after a brief cancer fight. Not a day goes by still that I don't ache for her and wish I had another chance to try a different path, but I know deep down that all roads led to the same outcome. Just didn't ever want to let her go is all. It hurts so badly to have our hearts so blown apart, and to feel the emptiness in all the places that she once filled so joyfully. I guess we can only try to focus on being eternally grateful for having known these fine girls and count our blessings for being fortunate enough to have shared so many great times and precious years together. Today, it brings me peace to find ways to celebrate Abbey's life. It's such a personal loss. My husband told me similar things - that I have to move on. But our girls loved us, appreciated us, and needed us. And we them. We were major witnesses to each others' lives. Not many souls in this world have such a unique and deep bond. I told my husband that's a lot to lose and that "moving on" is going to take some major time, if ever. Just recently, he said he thinks that the blown-apart-heart thing is contagious, especially now that Spring is here and she's not outside in the yard with him. He's feeling the loss just as deeply now. I guess it's a macho thing to want to brush emotional things under the rug and not "go there". I wish you peace and strength during these trying times. Raja was extremely fortunate to have had such a wonderful life and a loving Mom. Her love will always be with you