I Lost My Friend, Now She's Alone. Options

[george]

A few months ago I lost my Bun-Bun, and I went threw all the grief and the turmoil of loosing my pet but I learned to deal with the pain and the guilt of having to see her slip away from my life.
I don't know how to explain to anyone , even my family that I still grieve deeply everyday for my Bun-Bun. If I bring it up , I'm given looks like I'm "hanging on" to much, if I seem down someone will say"get over it" . This is ridiculous that a grown man has been effected so deeply by the lost of a pet.
I had many, many pets and have put down many of them, but this one was different. (I guess) I was just not ready, I have, since that day second guessed my decision to "let her go". It should have waited a bit. I just wasn't ready to see her go, there was another way, I think.. It's one of those choices you second guess for ever. I guess..
I have called the vet several times and was told it was the right thing to do, but I was not ready to "make that decision for her" , she trusted me in every way, I cant help think I let her trust down. SOB, I cant get over making that decision. I'm sorry Bun-Bun.
I have learned my talking to people who had similar experiences that this feeling most likely wont go away, it's always going to be one of those things that make us look older then we should.
I try and convince myself that I did the right thing, but for what ever reason I will always think I could have went down another path and things would have been different. It was a mistake !
I cant either un-do it or re-do it. I have to live with it..
I had some greatly appreciated help from many of my friends here at Lightning Strike and I would like to thank all of you very much,You know who you are.
If any one every asked me about "putting down" a pet, I would tell them to think, re-think and re-think the decision. It is the right thing to do for a animal in pain, but just think about it for a day.. then do the right thing...Your doing justice for both of you !

[lynette]

Sorry for your loss and for your suffering. I too had to make the decision to put down my Hunny. It was an awful one and one that I hope I never have to do again. The months leading up to that final day were agonizing, because we knew that we would have to make that painful decision soon. But Hunny had cancer and there was nothing more we could do for her. I've seen a dog suffer and I did not want her to go through that. She was on painkillers for the last month and that masked her pain. I have no regrets about Hunny's life. She had a good one as I'm sure your baby did too. We were fortunate in one respect that we got another seven months with her. She was diagnosed last summer and ended up losing two toes to this dreadful disease, which at the time was a non-spreading cancer. Well, it came back just after Christmas, this time it had spread.

If you know in your heart that your baby had a good life with you and that you both knew you loved each other, making that decision was not a wrong one. Yes, a very difficult one, but at least you got to say goodbye. I know this doesn't help, but having the chance to let them know just how much you really love them is a big deal. We lost Lily last summer, just a week or so before we found out Hunny had cancer. She died suddenly and unexpectedly. That was the most awful thing, she died right before our eyes and there was nothing we could do to help her. I watched the life fade from her eyes, and that is something I will never forget as long as I live. But although I'm sure she knew how much we loved her and we knew that she loved us - it was really difficult. Losing Hunny was terribly hard too, but we had the chance to tell her everyday and every night how much we loved her. And I agonized over whether the time was right or not. I wondered if we could have held on another week or so. But it was time, lumps were popping up all over her body. And I just couldn't bear to see her suffer, because I knew the painkillers would eventually stop working. I miss her every day.

Please don't beat yourself up about having to make that decision. I know it's hard, I know it's painful. And I know we'll spend the rest of our lives wondering if it was the right thing to do or the coward's way out, but how could you let an animal suffer? How many people beg to be "put down" when they are in their final days of cancer and other diseases? I've seen that too, and to save an animal from that kind of pain has just got to be the best way. I am an animal lover all the way. I cringe at people who abuse or discard animals. It makes me sick. But Hunny had a good life, your baby did too. Just picture her running and playing in the meadows at Rainbow Bridge. I find a lot of peace in believing that Hunny is now with her sister Lily. I miss them both so very much and I will always love them, but they are together again. Maybe your baby has company up there too? If not, she's made lots of friends already. I'm not a religious person, but I choose to believe that there is something after this life and I hope with all of my being that we will all be reunited again.

Don't worry about what other people think. This pain is real. And for me, I can honestly say that I think more of my pets than I do of some people. Infact, I feel sorry for people who have never known the love of a pet. They are missing out on a great deal.

Have you considered another pet? I know it's hard to think that you could love again, but it really does help. I have three other dogs now. Hunny was fortunate enough to meet them and she loved them. But I've been so distracted with them, that time is just flying by. We lost Hunny April 4th. I will never forget her nor do I want to, but I cried so many tears when she was alive. I wish I could turn back time and maybe, somehow, we could have changed the course of things and she would never have gotten sick. But I can't and life does go on.

This is a great website, the people were here for me when I had to make that agonizing decision just a few weeks ago. And I am truly grateful to these people.

You will always wonder if you did the right thing. It is done and at the time you must have felt it was the right decision. If the vet agrees, then it was, they know best.

Please don't beat yourself up any more. Losing a loved one is hard enough without the what-if's. Remember the good times. We printed out all the photos of Hunny and Lily that we could find. I made up a little card and mailed out announcing Hunny's passing - I sent it to the vets that she had seen in the past year. It helped a lot.

Once again, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm not so good at this kind of stuff, but I hope I can help even just a little. I know it helps me because I still need to write about my babies.

Take care.

Lynette.

[george]

Sorry for your loss and for your suffering. I too had to make the decision to put down my Hunny. It was an awful one and one that I hope I never have to do again. The months leading up to that final day were agonizing, because we knew that we would have to make that painful decision soon. But Hunny had cancer and there was nothing more we could do for her. I've seen a dog suffer and I did not want her to go through that. She was on painkillers for the last month and that masked her pain. I have no regrets about Hunny's life. She had a good one as I'm sure your baby did too. We were fortunate in one respect that we got another seven months with her. She was diagnosed last summer and ended up losing two toes to this dreadful disease, which at the time was a non-spreading cancer. Well, it came back just after Christmas, this time it had spread.

If you know in your heart that your baby had a good life with you and that you both knew you loved each other, making that decision was not a wrong one. Yes, a very difficult one, but at least you got to say goodbye. I know this doesn't help, but having the chance to let them know just how much you really love them is a big deal. We lost Lily last summer, just a week or so before we found out Hunny had cancer. She died suddenly and unexpectedly. That was the most awful thing, she died right before our eyes and there was nothing we could do to help her. I watched the life fade from her eyes, and that is something I will never forget as long as I live. But although I'm sure she knew how much we loved her and we knew that she loved us - it was really difficult. Losing Hunny was terribly hard too, but we had the chance to tell her everyday and every night how much we loved her. And I agonized over whether the time was right or not. I wondered if we could have held on another week or so. But it was time, lumps were popping up all over her body. And I just couldn't bear to see her suffer, because I knew the painkillers would eventually stop working. I miss her every day.

Please don't beat yourself up about having to make that decision. I know it's hard, I know it's painful. And I know we'll spend the rest of our lives wondering if it was the right thing to do or the coward's way out, but how could you let an animal suffer? How many people beg to be "put down" when they are in their final days of cancer and other diseases? I've seen that too, and to save an animal from that kind of pain has just got to be the best way. I am an animal lover all the way. I cringe at people who abuse or discard animals. It makes me sick. But Hunny had a good life, your baby did too. Just picture her running and playing in the meadows at Rainbow Bridge. I find a lot of peace in believing that Hunny is now with her sister Lily. I miss them both so very much and I will always love them, but they are together again. Maybe your baby has company up there too? If not, she's made lots of friends already. I'm not a religious person, but I choose to believe that there is something after this life and I hope with all of my being that we will all be reunited again.

Don't worry about what other people think. This pain is real. And for me, I can honestly say that I think more of my pets than I do of some people. Infact, I feel sorry for people who have never known the love of a pet. They are missing out on a great deal.

Have you considered another pet? I know it's hard to think that you could love again, but it really does help. I have three other dogs now. Hunny was fortunate enough to meet them and she loved them. But I've been so distracted with them, that time is just flying by. We lost Hunny April 4th. I will never forget her nor do I want to, but I cried so many tears when she was alive. I wish I could turn back time and maybe, somehow, we could have changed the course of things and she would never have gotten sick. But I can't and life does go on.

This is a great website, the people were here for me when I had to make that agonizing decision just a few weeks ago. And I am truly grateful to these people.

You will always wonder if you did the right thing. It is done and at the time you must have felt it was the right decision. If the vet agrees, then it was, they know best.

Please don't beat yourself up any more. Losing a loved one is hard enough without the what-if's. Remember the good times. We printed out all the photos of Hunny and Lily that we could find. I made up a little card and mailed out announcing Hunny's passing - I sent it to the vets that she had seen in the past year. It helped a lot.

Once again, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm not so good at this kind of stuff, but I hope I can help even just a little. I know it helps me because I still need to write about my babies.

Take care.

Lynette.

Thank you Lynette
I am sorry for your lost, I hope you find peace as well. You and I know who it feels to go threw something like this. I cant help and feel helpless like she did that day. I cant shake the feeling of regret this has given me. I feel I let her down when she needed me to do the right thing. The vet has told me over and over it was the right thing to do but I was not totally sure it was the necessarily the only way to go. She was 14 and I never seen her suffer once, if would be different if I witnessed her suffering for a wile but I never did. I seen her breathing heavy and took her to the vet and she was gone. I have mixed emotions about that day. I'm no kid, I never had this turmoil in any decision I have ever made.I guess it will make it's way to the back of my brain someday but it will always be one of my most regrettable things I did in my life. Thanks for the understanding, as you have lost your love one as well. I am in the dept of some many people who know how it feels to loose a love one with a little face and four paws.. Peace be with you. George