Unprepared, Unprepared for sudden illness and death Options

[Bronte's Mom]

Hi, I'm knew here and thank-you all for sharing your stories. My baby was ill, unbeknownst to me. Sun Oct 24th I noticed Bronte did not look herself. After visiting the vet, she was found to have an abdomen full of fluid. She had lost 7 lbs from her normal weight, however, it was hard to see from the fluid swelling her body. She never kept a normal eating routine and liked to eat from my roomate's cat's bowl, so I never knew that she had stopped eating. They found some sort of growth, I learned after was a cyst, growing on her liver. Multiple tests were run thet led her to her surgery on Sat Oct 30th. I missed all the signs. Bronte seemed herself until that first vet visit. After enduring multiple needles to drain fluid from her abdomen, and me force feeding her, she slowly deteriorated. She could barely walk, would not purr, and her vocalisation had changed. By Sat. I was convinced that surgery would save her. They held her surgery on Friday because she was too weak. Then Saturday morning rushed her procedure because she was rapidly declining now. She was dehydrated, could not maintain her blood pressure, or her temperature. She was 10-12 degrees cooler than she should have been. Afterwards she went into cardiac arrest twice, before I was able to make it to her side. I was told that mentally she was not recovering as she should have. Something else was going on other than a cyst. Her brain was affected. 6 days after I first noticed something was wrong, I had to have her put to sleep. I didn't even get to hold her for a few minutes before she began to have respiratory failure again, and the euthanasia shots had to be rushed. I held her and cried afterwards, unable to believe she was gone and feeling guilt that I couldn't do more. Also I felt immense guilt that I selfishly let her suffer as long as I did, not knowing that something was wrong, and letting her undergo surgery then life saving attempts of CPR. I'm still in denial. I expect her to come running out from under my bed (her favorite hiding place). I can't sleep with the bedroom closed, because she always needed it open to come and go as she pleased. And I keep her shampoo bottle in my room so I can remember how she smelled. Little Bronte was 12 years old. She outlasted most of my jobs, 99% of my boyfriends, and 5 residences. I can't even fathom having another cat after her loss. Now to make matters worse, a tech at the vet's office reportedly got bit so they have to send her remains to the county vet to test her brain tissue for rabies. I'll have to wait 3 additional weeks before she will be returned home to me. People look at me strangely for being so devastated by her death. But as far as I'm concerned she was my child. Does this pain get better? Thanks for listening. I'll try to get a picture of her posted soon.

[Kristie]

I am so sorry to hear about your Bronte. Her story reminds me of my little one whom I lost two weeks ago. My kitty, Akasha, left me due to illness at 15 years. I had, and still have, so many feelings of guilt for not knowing that there was something wrong with her also. I thought she was peeing all over the house because she wasn't too keen on our new baby boy comming home but it turned out that her kidneys were failing. I found out that she was sick one night by comming home to my poor friend lying on the floor covered in her own mess and surrounded by blood. If I had just paid more attention I feel like I may have caught it sooner but Akasha was the queen of this castle and it seemed logical that she would protest the arrival of a new baby who was taking up so much of mommies time. She really didn't let on that she wasn't feeling well until the night I took her to the vet and found out that it was too late. Our vet was wonderful, however, and did a full physical on her before we made the hardest decision we've ever had to make. He was kind enough to let us know that she probably wasn't in much pain but I know my cat...even if she was she would never let on. We had no other option given to us considering her age and other medical problems..but I still feel terrible.

I am so sorry for your loss....I know how hard it is. Keep right on loving her and remember all of the good times. She's still with you and always will be. One of the other members wrote something to me that made me feel better. She told me that Akasha wouldn't want me to be sad.....and it's true. She was always there to comfort me when I was unhappy. She went with me through moves, boyfriends, a husband (now ex), and a baby...just like Bronte went with you. It's ok to miss her and it's ok to be sad but remember that all she wanted was for you to be happy.

Take care,
Kristie