The End Is Near, Cancers winning Options

[Murphy's Mom]

About 3 months ago in october we found out our dog gabriel had prostate cancer. A week later we found out he had cancer all over. It has been hell watching him waste away before my eyes and there is not a single thing I can do. We have him on steroids and pain killers but the last couple days it seems the medicines are not working so well anymore. I think we are almost at the end of the road. I watch him walk out to the yard so slowly limping on his one leg and wonder if we are just being selfish to keep him with us. But when I see him barking and trying to play with our younger dog, still interested in eating and just seems ok for now. . . how can you put him down. How can you end his life when he still has so much in him and I just cant. I know that it sounds I think he was still willing to go on as of yesterday but today. He just does not look well and I just see that look in his eyes that same one my other dog had when it was her time and it kills me. Because I am no tready. It is so hard to think about saying good bye but I think it is almost time. I never knew how painful watching cancer take a life could be. It is the worst thing I have ever been through. It is a constant rollar coaster of emotion. Thinking hey he is doing better today but knowing in the back of your head there is no such thing as better with this. He will not get better and it hurts. It just hurts. You know you grow up taking care of these wonderful creatures. The ones that layed by your side on lonely nights when the kids were not so nice at school and they kissed your face when tears were rolling because everything was going to hell at home and now they are the ones who need the comfurt and I cant do anything to help. I do all I can but nothing I do will make it go away. I know he will soon go to a better place away from the pain and the discomfurt. But I cant help but miss him so much for all he did for me for so many years. God is truely taking my angel away.

[lynette]

Hi. My baby is losing her battle with cancer and we have to put her to sleep this Saturday. I am totally overwhelmed by grief and guilt. She developed a tumour on her foot last summer and ended up losing 2 toes. They weren't able to remove all the cancer cells though and it started growing again. We noticed right after Christmas. This time it has spread. We knew last summer that we were only buying time, but still it is so very hard. Her mind is good. Some days I see the pain in her eyes, but she wants to get up and play with the pups. She still likes to go for a walk. She can't walk too far without making her foot bleed. The tumour on her foot has opened up so we have no choice but to end her life. I know in my head and my heart that it is time to let her go, but I am having such a hard time with this. Her mind is still so good, and Hunny can hold a grudge. I don't want her going to the Bridge mad at me. She has a sister, Lily, up there waiting for her. We lost Lily last summer also. My only solace is that they will be together again. I was hoping that she would slip away in her sleep, but I think she's just too stubborn. I'm sure that she doesn't want to leave us or the pups. She hardly got to know them!! And I wanted to bury her too, but up here in Manitoba the ground is still frozen, so we have to cremate her. Does it sound corny sending her to heaven with a teddy bear in tow and a little letter for her and Lily? Does it sound stupid to send something with her for Lily also? We lost Lily suddenly and expectedly.