Just Lost My 'babies', Sorry it's so long Options

[civicchik96]

Hi everyone. I am so glad I have found such a wonderful place to share, comfort, and find those who understand the grief one feels when they lose a beloved pet.
I'll start off by telling everyone a little about myself. My fiance and I have one orange and white cat, who's around 14 months old. We got him when he was only 6 weeks old. He's our only indoor pet, and our world.
We also had 15 'adopted' cats, who were strays that roamed around our apartment complex. We've lived here since December of last year, at which time we only noticed 2 bigger cats. Back around the end of June, we noticed the two kitties hanging out by the grill. Figuring they were hungry, we put a little of our cats food out, and a little dish of water. Two days later, we realized we had two momma cats with 4 kittens each! Our original plan was to get all of the kitties into our no-kill humane society, but unfortunately, they had no room. We thought we would feed them, and let them stay on our porch until they gave us word that they could take the cats in. Living in an apartment, we couldn't bring them all in to our house, and we couldn't find anyone who would foster them. But a couple of months went by and everything was going great. August came along and brought us one more momma cat and 4 beautiful kittens. At this point, regretfully, we weren't in any hurry to get the cats new homes, because we had fallen in love with each and every one of them, had named them all, and figured, it's still warm outside, they'll be fine. On September 13, one of the littlest kittens was attacked and killed by a raccoon outside of our porch. We knew then, it was time to really get a move on and find these guys good homes. We had talked to one of the apartment managers who "110%" assured us that they work with the humane society, and will do everything they can to help us get these cats in there and adopted. He gave us his word at least 5 times, and I asked him a sixth time if he was absolutely positive they were going to the humane society. He was very convincing, so we let them start putting the traps out, which they would check for us every morning. One by one, as they were caught, I felt so overjoyed that these kitties that I love so very much will finally be going to the homes and having the lives that they deserve. it was pretty hard though when we trapped the last two kittens, which was just this past Wednesday. I was actually standing outside when curiousity (and the smell of that darned food) got the best of 'em . So watching them get trapped, hearing them cry and wanting so bad to run over and open the cage door... (sigh), but I knew it was for the best, and I could sleep more peacefully at night, knowing that they will now have a better chance at a long, happy life, no more worries about them being cold, lonely, scared, if it's raining, etc.
Apparently, the man we talked to had lied... the no-kill shelter never had any room at all. We found this out after calling and visiting since Saturday afternoon and finally finding out from calling animal control. No one would tell us anything, until we demanded to know. All of the babies were euthanised, get this, the DAY AFTER they were brought in. Because, according to the lady we talked to at animal control, they were 'jumping around in their cages and "acting" wild'. I am really just numb right now and cannot believe that we were so blatantly lied to. I cannot drive because of an accident, nor have any family close to me who would have helped me themselves to get these animals to the no-kill shelter, so I trusted these people at my apartments, who assured me SEVERAL times that they were going to be taken to the humane society, to understand and empathize with the situation.
I am also very, very angry because we do not condone or support 'unnecessary' euthanasia in any way, shape or form. My heart is also broke in a million pieces because, and if anyone firmly believes that their animals understand what they're saying, will know what I'm talking about, I sat with those two kittens that I, myself, being under the impression that they were going to the humane society, helped to trap, and told them I was only doing this because I love them and want them to go to a wonderful home. Now, I have this huge burden of guilt... if I'd have only known
Please everyone, PLEASE support your local humane societies and No-Kill shelters, or if you are in my situation, please foster strays yourself, and find homes for them for yourselves. I am sorry to everyone who may feel very strongly that I should have done this myself. If cir%%stances would have allowed, you can bet on anything, I would have. I will carry that with me from now on.
If anyone would, please say a prayer for those babies. They are, and will forever be, greatly loved, and missed.

[civicchik96]

Thanks to everyone! You guys will never know just how very much your support and understanding is appreciated, and how healing it is to know that I have those comforting words and thoughts to come to whenever I'm feeling a little discouraged... Everyone here is so wonderful, and I feel blessed to have found this forum

Please come here often and write . . . it might help you . . . I know it helps me.

I sure will Chrissy, every chance I get! Like I said, just knowing that I have a place to come and vent when I'm angry, cry when I'm hurt, and reminisce is very helpful, and I don't think I would have began to start feeling the least bit better without you guys who really understand. I'm also very sorry to hear of your loss. I wish you the very best. And it wouldn't surprise me one bit if my babies haven't already found the warmth and comfort of snuggling up to your beloved friend.
You both will be in my thoughts as well!

YOU have a heart made of gold - and I am sure, one day, they will be waiting to thank you for at least trying to save them.

I sure hope so DJ. It is so easy to lose hope and faith in times like these, and start doubting yourself and other things. Questions such as this one; 'well they weren't technically my pets, as some people have said, will I still see them at the bridge?' start to creep into my mind. But I want you all to know, I have found a great deal of strength here from you guys, and anytime I start to have those doubts in my mind, I come back and read what you guys have said again!

I love 2Foo, 4Foo and 5Foo.  C13 C14 was he coming up or falling down?

Thanks SJ! Actually in C13 and C14, I was talking sweet talk to him, so he decided to start showing off for me, rolling around on his back, and playing peek-a-boo behind the railroad tie, so he was kind of coming up and going down over and over and over LOL! And well 'HE' is actually a 'SHE' that my nine year old nephew decided was a boy and her name would be 'Carlos' so her name, even on the garden rocks we made up for them, is 'Carlos'!

I just loved the pictures you shared. I got a chuckle at all the places your adorable furbaby likes to lay  I own dogs, but isn't it rare that furkitties lay with their bellies exposed like that? Your "little boy" must love and trust you both alot.

Thanks Cheri! I've actually heard that kitties have to really trust you to expose their belly like that. But, in the same way a loveable little puppy would, he'll come nudge our legs, flop over on his back, wanting us to scratch his belly, especially before bedtime

Again, thank you all for all of your comforting and kind words. You will all be in my prayers!
God bless you all,
Summer