Death And Dying Pet Support, Anyone else like this after 6 weeks? Options

[kanecutter]

Since I work from home and own a pet sitting/dog walking business, my girl was with me 24/7 for the last 9 years. I fostered her, she was a very sad soul at first, neglected abused 1st 3 yrs of life. I ended up keeping her and loved her so much I wrapped my entire life around getting her out to run for hours each day and then when she became ill last Fall, all I did was work on keeping her happy, nothing else mattered.

I had to have her euthanized a little over a month ago. I wanted to die with her. It was the worse pain I have ever gone through in my life. During the first two weeks I literally could not stay in my own skin in the house alone...had to avoid the bone chilling absence of her presence. After the third week I began trying to rebuild my business and kept distracted that way.

Has anyone ever suddenly felt like dying again six weeks later? I thought after the third week Iwas getting better and able to work - concentrate on something besides the pain and emptiness. Suddenly, this weekend, I just feel like she's gotta be here with me as before or else I cannot function again. It's like the importance of life is gone. If she is not here, I'm in a pit and nothing can ever be right. Like I tried to function thru the loss and failed. Has anyone else thought they saw the light at the end of the tunnel and then suddenly it's gone. Just a dream that I could go on living. Suddenly, 6 weeks later I cannot go on like this unless distracted by a movie or by talking to people. Thought things would get easier, but instead it's suddenly worse.

Thanks for any input.

[goliath]

Has anyone ever suddenly felt like dying again six weeks later? I thought after the third week Iwas getting better and able to work - concentrate on something besides the pain and emptiness. Suddenly, this weekend, I just feel like she's gotta be here with me as before or else I cannot function again. It's like the importance of life is gone. If she is not here, I'm in a pit and nothing can ever be right. Like I tried to function thru the loss and failed. Has anyone else thought they saw the light at the end of the tunnel and then suddenly it's gone. Just a dream that I could go on living. Suddenly, 6 weeks later I cannot go on like this unless distracted by a movie or by talking to people. Thought things would get easier, but instead it's suddenly worse.

I am so sorry about the passing of your precious little girl. Trying to find a way to go on for most of us has been more than difficult. Even when grief begins to subside somewhat..... suddenly we can and do find ourselves drowning in tears when we least expect it. The pain of missing them and wanting them back at our side becomes overwhelming.

Though all that come here have suffered a great loss that has thrown them beyond grief, each person processes their loss in very personal ways. For me, the first couple of months were unbearable. Going through each day was more like auto-pilot. The first couple of weeks after my Goliath passed away I was just numb in disbelief. The only thing that made sense to me at all was that I must have died too, except that I must have gone to Hell. Each day I fell deeper and deeper into a bog of depression and kept all my friends and family away from me. Quite honestly, I didn't want to continue living without my baby boy. During the following weeks reality began to seep in that he really was gone and was not coming back.......at least in the physical sense. Once the shock wore off, the pain and shear intensity of that deep grief got much much worse. I had begun to isolate myself, stopped eating, and just stopped talking unless I absolutely had to. My family and friends were very worried about me and made every attemp to reach out to me. Finally in Jnauary of last year, two months after Goliath's death, I realized I could not continue existing like this any longer or I was going to die. By then I also realized I had been neglecting my family, my husband, and my other dog Gidget who was suffering right along with me. All those who loved me gave me the room I needed to mourn and showered me with love. Somehow, some way, I knew I had to find my way back to the living.

One of my dearest friends suggested I find a pet loss support group or find a grief counselor. In my heart, I knew she was right and I did do something. After typing in pet loss in the search box on my computer, LS was the first to pop up. I came in feeling much like I was entering a funeral parlor and began to read others stories. My journey of healing had begun! Within a fairly short amount of time, acceptance, inspiration, hope, and a new will to survive began to grow inside of me. It was then I realized that though Goliath's body had persihed, his loving spirit had never left me and never would. Others carried me when I could not carry myself and helped show me the way down the long road of recovery. Little by little I began picking up the pieces of my broken heart along the way. To this day Goliath is my first thought of the day and my last before I fall asleep at night.

Over time, the deep gutwrenching pain began to subside.....and as it did, the wonderful memories of the life Goliath and I lived together began to take over. While Goliath was my greatest blessing, I also had many others in my life that I loved very much and I needed to show them how much I loved them too.

Your girl is still with you, around you, and kept safely in your heart. Know she will never leave you and waits until it is your time to leave this world and join her in the next. A loving bond such as yours cannot be broken either in this world nor the next for you are bound by your hearts. Trust that one day you and she will say hello again and live in eternal bliss.

Much love from my heart to yours,
Beth