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Jules02
post Feb 16 2009, 03:39 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 22
Joined: 15-February 09
From: Oklahoma City
Member No.: 5,538



My story is long so please bare with me. I rescued my dog, Roman from the highway in May of 2004. He had ticks and fleas all over him. I found him in my home town visiting my mother. I took him to the police station and they said more than likey the animal control would put him to sleep. He became my dog that day!! I brought him to OKC where I live and took him to the vet to get him cleaned up and looked at. He had 2 tick blood diseases from being out on his own for so long. There were ticks all over him even between his toes. They gave antibiotics and we got started on heart worm prevention. They guessed he was 2 years old by looking at his teeth. They also determined he was half black lab and half ##er spaniel. He is sooooo cute. He weighed only 30 pounds when I found him and before he passed he was at least 55 pounds where he should be. I brought him home and he became the best dog, best friend anyone could ask for. I was coming out of a terrible relationship and felt broken. I feel like Roman and I were both broken and we put each other back together again. He was my shadow. I believe when you rescue a dog they know how lucky they are to have a home. He was so loyal and loving. Never once did he have an accident in the house. He only growled and barked when someone was around the house. Protecting me like only Roman could. (I named him Roman because he was roaming around when I found him....lol!) I got married in Nov 2005 to a wonderful man that Roman became to love just as much as I did. We discussed starting a family even tho Roman was our son and we treated him like he was. I became pregnant in late March of 2008. I found out I was excpecting twins. We were overjoyed and hoped Roman would love them as much as we would when they came. I ended up having some complications in my pregnancy and had to be on bed rest for 4 months before I delivered in Nov 08. Roman was at my side day and night. He slept with my husband and I anyway but, when I went on bedrest he would not leave my side except to go do his business outside. I know he knew I was pregnant! Fast forward to the babies coming home. I had a boy and a girl. My son had colic for the first 2 months and cried all the time. It drove us all crazy and I think it really made Roman nuts. He still cries but not as much as before. Roman has been fine and in good health I thought. We started our daily walks back up last week. He was fine. He did not show any sign of being sick. I woke up at 7am on 2/11 and Roman as usual was on our bed. I got up and went to the babies room and came back into the hall and saw Roman's legs buckle under neath him and he collapsed. He was dead instantly. I still have NO idea what happened. I was screaming my head off and begging God to not take him. I called my vet and they said it was more than likely a heart attack or a brain aneurysm. They asked if I wanted an autopsy and I said no. I did not want him cut open. I pulled myself together enough to find a pet cementary and that is where he is. We got a beautiful casket. I cannot understand WHY this happened. He was fine. The only thing I can think of is the night before we had some terrible weather and tornadoes. He hated storms and always hid and shook all over. I feel so much guilt that I could not comfort him like I wanted to. I have 2 babies to take care of and Roman always seemed to be third. I feel sooooo guilty right now. I now he hated the babies crying. He was my first child and he was spoiled. I know he was sad that he was not first anymore. It makes no sense to me that this has happened. Why so soon after the babies came home. I was so looking forward to them growing up with him. He was my world. I have become so depressed that my mom has taken off work to come here to help me with the babies. I do not feel like doing anything. I see and think I hear Roman all over the house. I am still in shock and I have been wearing his collar around my wrist. I cannot quit crying. I have read alot of the posts on this board and they have been so comforting. I hope I can come here and feel some sort of peace and comfort from all of you and try to put my life back together again. I just started a new normal with the babies and now I have to find another new normal without my Roman. It is too much too soon. I feel so overwhelmed. I miss my Roman dearly and just want him to come back home. Thank you for listening to my story.
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Jules02
post Feb 24 2009, 07:28 PM
Post #2





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 22
Joined: 15-February 09
From: Oklahoma City
Member No.: 5,538



QUOTE (jackjackbojack @ Feb 20 2009, 10:35 PM) *
Hi Jules02

Who is ever prepared for death...whether we see it coming or not, we always think we could of, should of and if only..I know because i play those tunes in my head over and over. At the time, (NOW) we think we are doing the best we can. And when things change, we look back and berate and be up on ourselves for all the things we didnt see or should have seen and wished to have seen. We take all of these things and put them together and think we could have prevented this from happening.....but could we?

I believe our babies choose us...Its no accident that we find them....They find us...We wonder what if i hadnt come along, well the point is we do come along and they come into our lives...They seek us out. Somehow it likes a play, and they direct us to the stage where they will be. They bring us the best of everything. That is because they want to shower us with unconditional love. Our furkids make us better in so many ways. And I believe when its their time, they somehow know. Roman knew how much you loved him...He never left your side. He loved you...And even if you didnt spend as much time with him, he knew that your love wasnt measured in hours, minutes, and seconds. He knew the quality of your love....and he knew you so much better than you know yourself....You see, you extended his life here instead of walking away. Roman is in your heart. In time, you will come to feel his essence all around you. The only thing that really dies is the body, not the spirit, AKA soul....The only difference now is that he isnt in the physcial form. And thats hard because we so want to touch them and feel them.


Pick up a copy of the book animals and the afterlife...It helped me alot..There are so many wonderful stories and also, the author explains signs...

take care
joanne


Joanne,
Thank you for saying that I extended his life. I am starting to feel better every day. I still have my days when I cry my eyes out but, I do feel his presence and I somehow feel peace when I do. I loved him so much and my heart will be broken for a long time. I will indeed pick up this book. I bought several books to help me through this time. I am currently reading Cold noses at the Pearly Gates!

Thank you for your words!



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Posts in this topic
- Jules02   I Am So Very Sad   Feb 16 2009, 03:39 PM
- - LoveThem   I feel so overwhelmed. It has been less than a we...   Feb 16 2009, 05:06 PM
- - von72   oh gosh I'm so sorry for your loss. Reading y...   Feb 16 2009, 05:14 PM
- - Jules02   Thank You Love Them and Von 72 for replying. I am ...   Feb 16 2009, 05:36 PM
- - moon_beam   Hi, Jules02, please permit me to offer you my sinc...   Feb 16 2009, 06:57 PM
- - sissycat   What a beautiful dog. You and Roman were so lucky...   Feb 16 2009, 07:19 PM
- - LoveThem   I absolutely love your new picture of Roman. What ...   Feb 16 2009, 07:27 PM
- - ann   I am so deeply sorry for your sudden loss of Roman...   Feb 17 2009, 01:51 AM
- - Jules02   Thank you everyone for your replies. Moon Beam tha...   Feb 17 2009, 09:26 AM
|- - freddie   Dear Juleso2, I am so sorry to hear about the loss...   Feb 18 2009, 10:18 PM
- - Farleybear   Oh Jules, what a touching story. You must be so p...   Feb 17 2009, 03:15 PM
- - Jules02   It has been 1 week to the day that my Roman has pa...   Feb 18 2009, 09:26 AM
- - LoveThem   A week is truly "a blink of an eye". Wh...   Feb 18 2009, 02:13 PM
- - sissycat   Yes, sending your Roman and Hugs and prayers!...   Feb 18 2009, 06:21 PM
- - Jules02   Thank you Freddie, LoveThem, sissycat, FarleyBear,...   Feb 19 2009, 02:34 PM
- - phoebekitty   Jules02... You know there is no logic to why these...   Feb 19 2009, 04:39 PM
- - Flossie's Mom   It broke my heart to read of your handsome Roman p...   Feb 19 2009, 09:57 PM
|- - Jules02   QUOTE (Flossie's Mom @ Feb 19 2009, 08...   Feb 19 2009, 11:35 PM
- - ann   Hi Jules, Right now this is the hardest part. Stil...   Feb 20 2009, 01:49 AM
|- - Jules02   QUOTE (ann @ Feb 20 2009, 12:49 AM) Hi Ju...   Feb 20 2009, 10:29 PM
- - moon_beam   Hi, Jules02, I am just being able to get caught up...   Feb 21 2009, 09:34 AM
|- - Jules02   QUOTE (moon_beam @ Feb 21 2009, 08:34 AM)...   Feb 24 2009, 10:43 PM
- - myhrtisbrkn   Your Roman reminds me so much of my dear Mack, who...   Feb 22 2009, 07:55 PM
|- - Jules02   QUOTE (myhrtisbrkn @ Feb 22 2009, 06:55 P...   Feb 24 2009, 10:54 PM
- - LoveThem   I still talk to him daily like I used to and I hop...   Feb 25 2009, 10:14 PM
- - rottimum   Oh does my heart break for you, I just had to have...   Feb 26 2009, 08:18 PM
- - Jules02   JackJackBoJack, LoveThem.... Thank you so much fo...   Feb 27 2009, 11:26 PM
- - LoveThem   I still have his favorite blanket in my car when I...   Feb 28 2009, 02:15 PM
- - Jules02   It will be 3 weeks tomorow that Roman passed away....   Mar 3 2009, 11:52 PM
- - Jules02   OK...I am having one of the hardest days so far to...   Mar 7 2009, 07:49 PM
- - LoveThem   Very, very normal feelings. My boy has been gone ...   Mar 7 2009, 08:08 PM
- - Jules02   Judy, Thank you for replying and always saying the...   Mar 7 2009, 08:52 PM
- - LoveThem   When we are grieving for these sweethearts...........   Mar 8 2009, 03:02 PM
- - Jules02   Hi Judy, Thank you always for your words. You alwa...   Mar 10 2009, 10:49 PM
- - karen - casey   Hi Julie, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. ...   Mar 11 2009, 10:20 AM
- - LoveThem   My "day" is Monday if I allow myself to ...   Mar 11 2009, 07:22 PM
- - LoveThem   How are you doing, Julie? One big cyber-hug being...   Mar 24 2009, 08:58 PM
- - Jules02   Hi everyone. I just wanted to check in and say Hi....   Apr 27 2009, 03:18 PM
- - katzen11   dear Julie i had to start a new thread tonight, ab...   Apr 27 2009, 04:10 PM
- - LoveThem   Thank you Judy for keeping up with my thread. I am...   May 1 2009, 07:59 PM
- - george   QUOTE (Jules02 @ Feb 16 2009, 04:39 PM) M...   May 5 2009, 09:58 AM
- - Hslesgirl   I have been following your story (and the beautifu...   May 6 2009, 10:06 PM
- - scmite   Iam so sorry for your loss.... Roman was so lucky ...   May 7 2009, 12:32 AM
- - Jules02   Thank you to all of you for your kind replies. I h...   Aug 11 2009, 09:58 PM
- - petmum   jules02 that is exactly my story too, your words d...   Aug 11 2009, 10:26 PM
- - ceaserthings   Your story has some common things that I can under...   Aug 11 2009, 11:12 PM
|- - tokolos   I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my Magnus...   Aug 12 2009, 05:38 AM
- - LoveThem   It has been 6 months to the day I lost Roman. I st...   Aug 12 2009, 03:34 PM
- - ceaserthings   I replied to this letter but cannot see it here at...   Aug 12 2009, 10:59 PM


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