I Lost My Best Friend Bun-bun.. Options

[george]

A few days ago we returned home after a few days to fine our family pet cat Bun-Bun having trouble breathing, we took her to the vet and quickly he said to put her down because of heart and lung problems. This pet was a family member for 17 yrs, a witness to the growth and development of our family, a family member who was alway there, always gave love alway sat quiet aside as we went on our daily duty's but was always there. I sweet face cat with a heart of gold. She touched our family so deeply and as left a hole in our lives. We regret doing what we did, maybe there was another way, maybe it was her time, maybe it did not have to happen. The entire family has been crying for 4 days, none of us can eat or sleep, or work, or go to school or work. We cant get over this. Maybe we made a mistake. I cant forgive myself for doing this to a family member. This was not our first pet or have we not been threw this type of thing before, it just happen so fast that I regret not giving it more time to develop. Our other pets all crying as much as the people in the family are. I cant bare to think of this as a mistake. I have tried to seek help for grief counseling but have not been able to find any.I am so pissed off at the vet and myself for jumping the gun. I don't know what to do..I failed my family. SOB why wasn't I given more time to think about this. Why can I have that day to do over ?

[LoveThem]

HI, George

Everything you say, I read and just wanted to let you know that every one of your replies here are full of normal feelings and thoughts and wishes. You can't think of anything we here have not thought of ourselves about our special ones.

I always say we will love them forever and miss them forever and because of that missing and love...the pain never completely goes away. It is the pain of missing them..of looking around and not seeing them.

I know the first few days, I would called out my boy's name very softly because when I used to do that no matter where he was, within a few minutes he was walking up to me. (Others here told me they did the same thing). I stopped after a while because I knew he was not coming up to me anymore and it got too depressing to do that.

I posted pictures of him in the Memorials and Tributes Section here and I believe in one, I had shown the pictures where I put a vase of flowers in some places he used to lie down..so the space did not look so empty.

I notice today is a Holiday (President's day). I hope you are able to reach your vet but if not, I am sure he will be there tomorrow....just wanted to warn you about the Holiday.

Anytime though, just come here again and write what you are feeling and thinking. We are always here listening and are anxious to hear about your talk with your vet. Hope you have written down any questions you don't want to forget to ask. When I talked with my vet, my main thoughts were about: what was his condition when she saw him that day? Was there any hope of a future? What could have been tried and what would the result most likely be? Was he suffering (Of course my boy was cause he couldn't breathe)? But these are questions I have asked about other special ones I have had in my life where decision time was coming. Sometimes I was told there was not immediate suffering...that made me feel better. But the future outcome was never a cure and eventually the end would not be peaceful. I always wanted to know how much time I had to make the decision....when there was time.

I think one of my hardest was a sweet girl dog who developed a spinal cord injury of some type at age 12. She was never in any pain or suffering but her legs would go into spasms where she could not walk or bend them for a time and her quality of life was getting bad. I saw her struggle to get out of her doghouse and couldn't cause her legs would not bend. After a time, they would and she could move. But it had progressed to a point where she had to do a BM and could not get out of her dog house to do it. The look in her eyes..................when that happened.....

I guess sometimes I tell more stories of other ones cause reading a long post can be distracting and sometimes it helps to be distracted.

Waiting to hear how your talk went................will be checking on you.

Judy