It's Been 5 Months And I'm Still Crying...am I Nuts?, Loss of my baby Wally Baxter still hurts. Options

[webmasterpdx]

My little dog (Bichon) Wally Baxter died in September. He was only 6, and I had to have him put to sleep because he had such terrible epileptic fits and he was having 10 of them a day.....it was time.

He died with me sitting on the vet's floor with Wally laying on my lap with his head resting on my arm, his nose between my arm and my stomach.....me telling him what a good boy he was, as he fell asleep and that was our parting.

I loved him so much. I've posted before with the details. He was my child as far as I was concerned. However, whenever I think of him, I either end up talking to him in heaven, and I know he's there as I have to believe that love that powerful is something valuable to God. If not, I want to go where he went :-)

Last night I saw a monologue on youtube where a guy was talking about his dog's death and he showed his dog's grave with his ball on the grave, and I just started crying again. I had to be consoled by my girlfriend. I found myself thinking about him again tonight and the tears were dripping (though this time I wasn't bawling like last night). My girlfriend sent me the photo below in email and it cheered me up and stopped the tears as I couldn't stop laughing. The dog on the left is smiling going "Oh boy.....what a feast!"....crack me up....see below....comments continue after the photo...



Well while that stopped the tears for now, I have to tell y'all that those tears keep coming. At first I told myself it's healthy to let it out. I'm depressed by other things too (been unemployed as an engineer for over a year now).....but it's my dear dear Wally Baxter that makes me cry. I miss him so so so much....it just aches. I don't want to get another dog in case I lose my home due to not finding work. I also feel that it's too soon and that I'll be "cheating" on Wally. I know that logically that doesn't make sense, but emotionally, I can't control that.

I feel better now that I've seen that photo again and that I've had a chance to vent here. Thank you all and thanks be to God for this site.

-Donald

[Jon730]

It's Been 5 Months And I'm Still Crying...am I Nuts?

If you are, then most people here must be. It has almost been a year for me, and I still have bad sinking moments, even though I have a new buddy who is a source of delight for me.
They are all different people, and cannot be replaced.
Grief is normal and healthy. What are we supposed to do, laugh? We lost our best friend, who totally gave us unconditional love, and a kind we rarely get IF EVER, from fellow humans!

I dread finding her hidden toys when I move furniture, because I know it will all come crashing down again.

[goliath]

I dread finding her hidden toys when I move furniture, because I know it will all come crashing down again.

I know the feeling Jon. It was a year ago this last November that Goliath passed away. Just this last weekend, I was cleaning out a closet and found another one of his bimple bones. No doubt I'll come across more of Goliath's little mementos. Each time I do..... I like to believe it's his way of saying "hello."

I guess I'm nuts just like the rest of you here too.