I Lost My Best Friend Bun-bun.. Options

[george]

A few days ago we returned home after a few days to fine our family pet cat Bun-Bun having trouble breathing, we took her to the vet and quickly he said to put her down because of heart and lung problems. This pet was a family member for 17 yrs, a witness to the growth and development of our family, a family member who was alway there, always gave love alway sat quiet aside as we went on our daily duty's but was always there. I sweet face cat with a heart of gold. She touched our family so deeply and as left a hole in our lives. We regret doing what we did, maybe there was another way, maybe it was her time, maybe it did not have to happen. The entire family has been crying for 4 days, none of us can eat or sleep, or work, or go to school or work. We cant get over this. Maybe we made a mistake. I cant forgive myself for doing this to a family member. This was not our first pet or have we not been threw this type of thing before, it just happen so fast that I regret not giving it more time to develop. Our other pets all crying as much as the people in the family are. I cant bare to think of this as a mistake. I have tried to seek help for grief counseling but have not been able to find any.I am so pissed off at the vet and myself for jumping the gun. I don't know what to do..I failed my family. SOB why wasn't I given more time to think about this. Why can I have that day to do over ?

[LoveThem]

Thank you for sharing Bun-Bun's pictures....she is so very beautiful. I am glad you had this beautiful girl for the 17 years you did. We all know no time is long enough.

You are going through normal grieving and doubts and all the awful thoughts we torture ourselves with afterwards. After all we are talking about making a decision that is so final.

You talk about her trusting you and feeling you betrayed her trust. No way you did that. She trusted you to help her by doing what was needed to help her. You did that. You did that most unselfish act we can do for them....letting them go when every fiber of our being cries out to keep them longer...but then we would be doing that for us...when it may be not the best for them.

All this you are going through....many have gone through the same things...that is all a part of the overwhelming pain and grief that comes so quickly and we feel it will never stop. Of course you miss her....we all miss our special friends and we always will cause we love them so very much. Nothing can stop that love and the missing is the pain we feel. They will always be a part of everything for us and we will never forget them or stop thinking of them. That's why at first we really have to make the effort to get through it one day at a time and when we are sad, to force ourselves to remember a happy memory and in remembering....feel grateful we had that. Over time doing this...it becomes easier to forget the heart-wrenching sadness that consumes us. I find I can block out now the horrible memories of my boy's last day and all that happened. I can still cry missing him and I can look into his eyes in his pictures and cry (and just typing this brings tears) but what happened that last day was not a good day to remember how he was and how we were and in time....I cannot allow myself to dwell on those moments of decision.
It all takes time..it really does. We search everywhere for something to take away the pain but we know the only thing that would do that would be if our friend was still here but not in distress, and it feels so empty to realize that is not possible.

It is the cruel part of life we have to deal with as best we can. You are not alone in what you are feeling....we all have experienced such feelings. We know we just have to try to work through everything...one day at a time.

Disease can take the physical body but never the spirit and the soul and that's why Bun-bun will always be with you....she has her forever, pain-free home.....in your heart.

I am going to put a topic in the Cybershoulder section called "whatifs" about something I just read in the newspaper and it made me think of how often that thinking is used here when it involves life-threatening situations. Maybe reading it will help you.

We are here and listening, George. Come here and talk anytime. We all share the same pain and it helps to know we are not alone.

Take care. I wish you peace and healing but I know it takes time...it really does. You made the right decision for your girl. She knows how much you love her and her love matches yours. You gave her peace at a time the ugly side of life was affecting her quality of life.

Judy

There are many posts in the Section where members have gone through similar doubts and pain. I think if you start reading the stories here....you will understand why people here understand and can tell you....what you are feeling is truly normal. It really helps to realize just how much you are not alone.