Lost My 17 Yr Old Fluffy Monday Night Options

[cte1866]

Monday night I had to put my beautiful 17 yr old cat Fluffy to sleep. She had been suffering from CRF and over this past weekend started to have some issues. Late Monday night she started having a seizure so I took her to the hospital. She had another one there and we decided it was time. Her little body was giving out and we didn't want her to suffer. I am just a mess. I work from home and we were together 24/7. I basically took care of all of her needs and she was a very loving sweet cat. I had a cat bed on my desk so she could be with me while I worked - she wouldn't have it any other way. She loved to be on your lap and constantly be loved on. Now the house is empty and I feel lost as the routine with her has been broken.
Fluffy was a very special cat to me. I know all owners feel their cat or dog was/is special but you know how there is one animal that just seems to have a special quality? Something about them just rises higher than the rest? She was like that. I've had other cats but she was definately a special being. I was always convinced she was an angel sent to me.
Anyway, I'm working and trying to get through the week and keep myself occupied. I know in the future I'll have new fur babies to bring joy into my life but right now I just feel like I lost my best companion in the world.

[LoveThem]

This is the most heartbreaking time of all. My Little Guy was with me about 16 1/2 years when a trip to the ER meant I had to lose him and with him gone (the last of 3 siblings), my home was truly empty as you describe yours.

I did put pictures of him and his siblings in every room...pictures when they were happy and healthy. They always looked directly at the camera, into my eyes and so I can look into their eyes by looking at their pictures. Also, I made my favorite Picture of my Little Guy become my computer desktop wallpaper...so every morning I turn it on..I look into his eyes and when I turn it off, I say good night, and know he will be waiting for me whenever I turn the computer on.
I saved some of his fur, from a hairbrush, and put it in a ziplock air tight bag, along with a ball he loved to play with and when I need the physical touch, I use that. His twin brother had to leave in 2002 and his fur is just as soft as it was in 2002. It does not dry out or get brittle. Those are the little things I do to help me feel he is not completely gone.

That cat bed on your desk you mentioned.....that's what reminded me to talk about making my boy my desktop wallpaper...a way of him being right in front of me all the time.

One helpful saying a "Mom" here wrote a while back was: The pain of losing her will never ever be bigger than the joy of knowing her. (This one helps me to remember the good times whenever I need to brush away the sadness).

you said: Her little body was giving out and we didn't want her to suffer.

That's what I kept screaming in my head in the ER when I had to make that final decision for my boy.

Another Mom here (Mistletoe) said of her tuxedo kitty whose time had come: "I have sent you on a journey to a land free from pain, not because I did not love you but because I loved you too much to force you to stay."

Even now, typing that one brings me to tears. I think of it all under..not wanting them to suffer and nothing more able to be done..no cure.

As you said, in the future, you will have another. That's what I finally did because I could not stand the emptiness of the home without any furbaby here. We never replace them. They are in our hearts forever with their own unique soul and spirit. But we can start new memories with a new one who needs a home and has love to give when we are ready to share our home again
and we want to hug, hold and love again.

This is such an overwhelming devastating time for you ....but remember by coming here you are not ever alone. The same pain and feelings and love you feel.....we all have the same emotions inside for our lost ones.

Take it one day at a time and do whatever makes you feel better to do. I am grateful for over 16 years and I know you feel the same way for Fluffy's 17 years. It is never long enough but we are oh so very grateful we had that time.

Come here and write your thoughts and feelings whenever you feel like it. Write a note to Fluffy if you feel like it. Whatever you feel is inside you ..trying to get out to make you feel better, even if it is just a little bit.

Hugs to you and your new Angel Fluffy. By being a part of your heart she now has a forever home that she will never leave.

Judy