Sadness And Guilt, Death of Bosco Options

[msboom808]

I have never participated in an online forum before but I am incredible sad right now. Yesterday morning, my little Bosco was hit by a car down the street from our house after I let him out for his morning bathroom routine.

I only had Bosco for 5 weeks, I rescued him from the Human Society and he is the first dog I have ever owned. Since I was a little girl, I had wanted a dog and in December, my boyfriend of three years, Mike, said I could get a dog. Mike and I grew incredible attached to Bosco, taking him to the North Shore, out to eat, out with us when we ran errands to the dog park, etc. The incredible human/animal bond was formed strong within a week.

The grief I am feeling right now is unlike anything I have every experienced. I am 28 years old and this is my first real experience with grief. Mike and I had a memorial last night for Bosco, burying him in our backyard and planting flowers, forming a rock border on the grave and sprinkling lei on top (we live in Hawaii).

I cried all day yesterday, I had to text my co-worker that I could not make it into work. This morning, I burst into tears when I went into the kitchen to make coffee and looked at the spot on the couch where Bosco slept and realized that this morning, he was not there but instead he was in his grave.

Bosco brought us so much joy. We do not have children, so had formed our little family. I was so excited to have him and his live was cut far too short. The 5 weeks Bosco came to live with us is time I will always cherish. The howling at ambulances, hanging out the car windows, 6 a.m. face licks, eager and excitement when I return home from work to take him for a walk, him hanging out with me in the kitchen eagerly awaiting a treat, etc.

Mike and I are incredibly sad. I am seeking comfort and support online because although we have each other and I am so grateful for it, I feel the need to express my feelings through writing about Bosco and the overwhelming grief I am experiencing. I had no idea this was so hard. I also had no idea I would be experiencing this so soon. I miss my little buddy Bosco. My heart cries for him.

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[LoveThem]

I came here after seeing your video. It is a beautiful tribute to your boy. I am so very sorry about what happened to him and yes, 5 weeks time is very very short. I am glad you and your boyfriend are comforting each other...I know that helps.

When something happens so unexpected and quickly...it is such a tremendous shock! So you have to work through shock and grief at the same time...either one is difficult...together...it is so much harder.

But remember you are not alone in your feelings. We are there and have been there many times because no matter what happens, we find it in our hearts to get another furbaby, as there are so many that need love and a home and we know there will be future sadness but what they add to our lives especially with their unconditional love, makes having them worthwhile and we wouldn't trade a minute of them being in our lives...to avoid the future sadness.

Life was so unfair to you and Bosco.....5 weeks is tearfully short but we have no control over fate.
I'm glad you did find him and that he was a part of your family for now he has a permanent home in your heart where he can never be hurt or leave.

It is okay to cry, to grieve. It takes time to control the pain and tears and then one day when you think you are in control.....you are overwhelmed again by it all....THIS IS OKAY AND NORMAL TO HAPPEN.

Come here and write your thoughts and feelings anytime. We are always listening. It seems like when we share our pain....it helps it becomes a little less intense.

Your tribute is beautiful. If I had a magic wand...I would bring our loved back to us all, healthy and happy............if I had a magic wand.

I cried losing my boy Little Guy (my last loss) until I was exhausted crying and got mad cause crying wasn't making me feel better. That's why I did go on a search for another, looking for a special connection again, looking for a pair of eyes I would look into and want to bring home to look into every day. I got my new boy, Lucky, from the local SPCA. By getting him, they said they go to the kill Animal Control and rescue one to take his place in the SPCA, a no kill shelter. So by getting one, I have helped two...and also myself.

We each grieve in our own way but many feelings are identical among us. In time we learn that whatever feels right for us to do...is what we should do. Whatever helps us to heal is never wrong.

I know it is sudden, tragic, and fresh. I have been there many times. All I can do is say in time you will find some peace from it all. You will never forget your boy and you will miss him and love him forever but I find it is the missing that causes the pain which is why we can lessen the pain with time by accepting what happened...but it never goes away completely.

I wish you peace and healing.
I can only send you a big, tight, cyberhug.....a way of trying to help your sadness by showing there is a lot of caring here....as we all understand exactly the pain and hurt and tears and it is all so very normal.

Judy