My Baby Girl, Squidge Options

[Emma]

Well, my darling cat, Squidge, passed away on the 28th December, 2008 aged 15. What makes it worse is that she was in perfect health until someone allowed their dog to roam the neighbourhood unsupervised in March, 2008. Squidge was asleep in the garden under the window, and the alsatian came into the garden and went mad at her. I tried to get her through the window, but couldnt reach, so had to run round into the garden to get the dog away from her. The owner turned up at this point totally unfazed and with no apology. Squidge had wet herself with the fright. Also her blood pressure had gone up so high, so fast, her retinas detached and from then on she was completely blind. She was a bit up and down with coping with blindness, but was happy enough, but after the dog attack, she went downhill over the weeks and months, at one point a few months ago, shed gone so downhill, the vet almost put her to sleep, but by some miracle she got through that rough patch. Id always doted on her completely, but after she went blind, my life totally revolved around her and i did everything in my power to make her as happy as i could. At christmas she went downhill again, i thought it was only temporary and went back to syringe feeding her and liquidizing nutritional concoctions id made for her. i really did think she'd pull through again but was planning on taking her to the vets on the 29th December to see what he thought. Anyway, me and Squidge went to bed on the 27th and she was under the covers with her head poking out, cuddled up to me and i had my arm around her and was stroking her til i fell alseep, i woke up at about 2am and was gently stroking her and she was purring in her sleep. i woke up again at 7.30am, stroked her, but got no response and she didnt feel right. my baby girl had died in her sleep. i swear my heart literally broke at that moment. All everyone keeps telling me is that she was just a cat and i should be over it by now or they change the subject whenever i try to talk about her. its like noone really gets that she was not just a cat, she was by baby, best friend and kinda soul mate all rolled into one. we had been together since i was 15 when she walked into my bfs flat when i was on my own there one day, wed hardly been apart since then and since i moved out at 16, this is the first time ive been without her. I just seem to miss her more every day. and i think everyone thinks i am going crazy. i knew this would be hard, but this hurts so much more than anything else than i could possibly imagine. i do have another cat, Mitz, and i do love her to bits, but me and her arent as close as me and Squidge. my heart constantly aches and i feel like part of me is missing and my flat seems to empty and quiet. its horrible cos whenever i was upset, Squidge would come over and give me a cuddle and cheer me up, and now im upset cos i miss her i just dont know what to do x

[LoveThem]

Emma

Just remember to do what feels right to you. Look inside yourself asking....what could make me feel better right now....and if any one of what you are thinking about...sounds particularly right...do it.

Take everything one step at a time. There is no hurry...you have Mitz right now so you know every day you have a furbaby to hug.

Whether it is kittens or puppies....do what interests you right now..you have many options here.
What is important is at sometime you will make a connection with a new baby and if you do, then it will feel right to take her/him home.

When I started looking...I saw many cats but I wasn't making a connection right away and I wondered if I would but I persisted and went to places where adoptions were held and wound up back at my local SPCA and was determined this time to look in every room and at every cat and when I walked up to one who was sleeping and he looked like my Little Guy physically...well, he opened his eyes and looked into mine and I feel a little shock at how beautiful his eyes were and they too reminded me of my boy who had the same color big eyes. I tested him out to see how friendly he was and came home and told my husband I found a cat I wanted to bring home.
I was there the next morning they were open and brought him home.

I read in New Beginnings here how others found their connections...sometimes they were picked out by the furbaby instead of vice versa. So you never know what can happen unless you make the effort and when it feels right to you to make the effort...that's the time to see what happens.

Whatever you decide...I know whatever you bring home someday....kitty or doggie...they will be lucky to have you as their caregiver. I always think of it as a win-win situation. Someone needs love and a home and I need to give a home and love to one.

Hugs and good thoughts,
Judy