My Baby Girl, Squidge Options

[Emma]

Well, my darling cat, Squidge, passed away on the 28th December, 2008 aged 15. What makes it worse is that she was in perfect health until someone allowed their dog to roam the neighbourhood unsupervised in March, 2008. Squidge was asleep in the garden under the window, and the alsatian came into the garden and went mad at her. I tried to get her through the window, but couldnt reach, so had to run round into the garden to get the dog away from her. The owner turned up at this point totally unfazed and with no apology. Squidge had wet herself with the fright. Also her blood pressure had gone up so high, so fast, her retinas detached and from then on she was completely blind. She was a bit up and down with coping with blindness, but was happy enough, but after the dog attack, she went downhill over the weeks and months, at one point a few months ago, shed gone so downhill, the vet almost put her to sleep, but by some miracle she got through that rough patch. Id always doted on her completely, but after she went blind, my life totally revolved around her and i did everything in my power to make her as happy as i could. At christmas she went downhill again, i thought it was only temporary and went back to syringe feeding her and liquidizing nutritional concoctions id made for her. i really did think she'd pull through again but was planning on taking her to the vets on the 29th December to see what he thought. Anyway, me and Squidge went to bed on the 27th and she was under the covers with her head poking out, cuddled up to me and i had my arm around her and was stroking her til i fell alseep, i woke up at about 2am and was gently stroking her and she was purring in her sleep. i woke up again at 7.30am, stroked her, but got no response and she didnt feel right. my baby girl had died in her sleep. i swear my heart literally broke at that moment. All everyone keeps telling me is that she was just a cat and i should be over it by now or they change the subject whenever i try to talk about her. its like noone really gets that she was not just a cat, she was by baby, best friend and kinda soul mate all rolled into one. we had been together since i was 15 when she walked into my bfs flat when i was on my own there one day, wed hardly been apart since then and since i moved out at 16, this is the first time ive been without her. I just seem to miss her more every day. and i think everyone thinks i am going crazy. i knew this would be hard, but this hurts so much more than anything else than i could possibly imagine. i do have another cat, Mitz, and i do love her to bits, but me and her arent as close as me and Squidge. my heart constantly aches and i feel like part of me is missing and my flat seems to empty and quiet. its horrible cos whenever i was upset, Squidge would come over and give me a cuddle and cheer me up, and now im upset cos i miss her i just dont know what to do x

[Emma]

yeah i know what you mean, but only a few people in my life understand that she was just like my baby - the only difference being that i didnt give birth to her! and the police have their hands tied, but they are guna speak to her! but to be able to get anything done i may have to change the law. but campaigning for stricter dog control laws will at least give me something to focus on! i just hate that woman so much, i didnt think it was possible to hate someone that much! she killed my baby girl, she can make all the threats she likes, she cant do worse than she already has done! bit i will spend the rest of my life getting some legal action taken against her, even if i do have to get the laws amended. Squidge deserves to get some justice for what happened, and as her mummy, i'm guna make sure she does. Squidge was my life for so many years and she always will be. i just wish i could work out how to stop crying and obsessing. but my main focus was always her and i just cant stop her being my focus. i even broke up with really nice guys in the past cos Squidge didnt take to them or they were allergic to cats or something. I gave up on getting the career i wanted cos it would of meant moving far away and Squidge hated being in a car, so instead of putting her under that stress, i just stayed where i was. and i hate that im dealing with this so badly and i just cant see an end to it. im still as bad 4 weeks on as what i was when it first happened. the only difference is that i have now shut everyone out and cut myself off from everyone and everything. i look at her casket with her ashes in and i just still cant believe she's gone, its like its so bad it cant possibly be true.