Heartbroken & Lost Options

[frank]

On Sunday, my Lhasa Apso jumped out of my truck and into the road. I called him attempted to alert the driver but he was hit by a pick up truck. I ran to him and held him. He died right in my arms. I was crynig, holding him in the middle of the road. This all happened in about 10 seconds. The bad thing is that I witnessed the entire event and I keep replaying it over and over again in my mind. A good samaritan stopped. I must have been in shock. She went to the emergency vet with me but it was too late. Simon was my best friend and I miss him so much. He was 2 years old and strong and handsome and everything. Everyone, (ie), the vet, the groomer, friends and strangers alike love him. And he loved everybody back. I start crying at unexpected times throughout the day. He was so full of life and joy. We went for 2 walks each day, and he appreciated it and always conveyed that to me with a smile. He woke me every morning at sunrise and when he saw me, his eyes and smile just kept saying thank you, thank you, thank you! He changed my life and I am devastaed without him around. I relied on him more than he relied on me. I am still hoping that the vet will call and say that he's OK. I miss him and feel sick. I just want to be stronger for him and somehow get through this. It was so unexpected and we were running and playing literally minutes before this happened. I'm trying to figure out how to get through this without completely falling apart.

[Jon730]

Instead of an armed enemy that comes into your life with fire and sword to destroy, grief gets to be like that tedious relative, or acquaintance, you can't shake. It shows up at your work. It invites itself to dinner; you run into it at the mall. Sooner or later you learn to duck it...you know it's there...you know there will be times you can't avoid it, but you learn you can live with it.

I don't know about you, Frank, but I think this was one of the most realistic and profound things I have seen here. It really seems to be the way it works.

I did not lose a friend the way you did, but my wife and I were at the vet's when a couple of guys came in with the exact same thing that happened to their dog...so we got to see that grief up close, and it was bad. You know, we always expect to have a long life with them and grow old with them, and to have something like that happen is kind of a sneak attack. There's no way to be ready for it. It will always hurt, but hopefully all the happy memories will show up sooner or later and start to dull the pain.