My Baby Girl, Squidge Options

[Emma]

Well, my darling cat, Squidge, passed away on the 28th December, 2008 aged 15. What makes it worse is that she was in perfect health until someone allowed their dog to roam the neighbourhood unsupervised in March, 2008. Squidge was asleep in the garden under the window, and the alsatian came into the garden and went mad at her. I tried to get her through the window, but couldnt reach, so had to run round into the garden to get the dog away from her. The owner turned up at this point totally unfazed and with no apology. Squidge had wet herself with the fright. Also her blood pressure had gone up so high, so fast, her retinas detached and from then on she was completely blind. She was a bit up and down with coping with blindness, but was happy enough, but after the dog attack, she went downhill over the weeks and months, at one point a few months ago, shed gone so downhill, the vet almost put her to sleep, but by some miracle she got through that rough patch. Id always doted on her completely, but after she went blind, my life totally revolved around her and i did everything in my power to make her as happy as i could. At christmas she went downhill again, i thought it was only temporary and went back to syringe feeding her and liquidizing nutritional concoctions id made for her. i really did think she'd pull through again but was planning on taking her to the vets on the 29th December to see what he thought. Anyway, me and Squidge went to bed on the 27th and she was under the covers with her head poking out, cuddled up to me and i had my arm around her and was stroking her til i fell alseep, i woke up at about 2am and was gently stroking her and she was purring in her sleep. i woke up again at 7.30am, stroked her, but got no response and she didnt feel right. my baby girl had died in her sleep. i swear my heart literally broke at that moment. All everyone keeps telling me is that she was just a cat and i should be over it by now or they change the subject whenever i try to talk about her. its like noone really gets that she was not just a cat, she was by baby, best friend and kinda soul mate all rolled into one. we had been together since i was 15 when she walked into my bfs flat when i was on my own there one day, wed hardly been apart since then and since i moved out at 16, this is the first time ive been without her. I just seem to miss her more every day. and i think everyone thinks i am going crazy. i knew this would be hard, but this hurts so much more than anything else than i could possibly imagine. i do have another cat, Mitz, and i do love her to bits, but me and her arent as close as me and Squidge. my heart constantly aches and i feel like part of me is missing and my flat seems to empty and quiet. its horrible cos whenever i was upset, Squidge would come over and give me a cuddle and cheer me up, and now im upset cos i miss her i just dont know what to do x

[sissycat]

I am so very sorry to hear about Squidge!!!

What no apology from the dog's owner?!?!?!

You have found the right place. Here you can talk about it over and over and no one cares how much you do. We have all been where you are at some point. True lots of people just don't get animals the way some do. I too had people tell me to get over it. Just like you said-soul mate-best friend-child- what ever they mean the world to us and we grieve for them just like a human. Maybe even more so.
Been a little over 7 months since I lost my sissycat and just last night I was on this site and my daughter said you still get on that dead animal place. Of course I do i told her and i will continue to do so.

If not for this place (L/S) and all the wonderful people here I just don't know what I would have done. Everyone here is so understanding.
Mitz and You need each other especially now. I have Sissy's sister still and now I am more close to her since Sissy is gone, but she will never hold that special place.
As you know it is a bumby roller coaster ride this grief thing is. Has its ups and downs.

Sometimes just to write your feelings, stories of Squidge, or post pictures will help. I come here mostly everyday, but especially every Thursday to write a special little note to my Sissycat.
Whatever makes you feel better works here.

Hugs to you and you angel Squidge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!