Heartbroken & Lost Options

[frank]

On Sunday, my Lhasa Apso jumped out of my truck and into the road. I called him attempted to alert the driver but he was hit by a pick up truck. I ran to him and held him. He died right in my arms. I was crynig, holding him in the middle of the road. This all happened in about 10 seconds. The bad thing is that I witnessed the entire event and I keep replaying it over and over again in my mind. A good samaritan stopped. I must have been in shock. She went to the emergency vet with me but it was too late. Simon was my best friend and I miss him so much. He was 2 years old and strong and handsome and everything. Everyone, (ie), the vet, the groomer, friends and strangers alike love him. And he loved everybody back. I start crying at unexpected times throughout the day. He was so full of life and joy. We went for 2 walks each day, and he appreciated it and always conveyed that to me with a smile. He woke me every morning at sunrise and when he saw me, his eyes and smile just kept saying thank you, thank you, thank you! He changed my life and I am devastaed without him around. I relied on him more than he relied on me. I am still hoping that the vet will call and say that he's OK. I miss him and feel sick. I just want to be stronger for him and somehow get through this. It was so unexpected and we were running and playing literally minutes before this happened. I'm trying to figure out how to get through this without completely falling apart.

[ann]

I'm so sorry you lost your Simon in such a quick and tragic way. You said it best with how you relied on him. My whole world evovled around my cat Arthur. He controled me.(and he knew it). I lost him quickly to an injuy. I had 24 hrs to "think" about it; but my heart wouldn't have it. It's so very hard. I've been hear 7mo now, cuz I still cry everyday. He was only 2 too. Funny how much of an impact they can have on us in such a short time. Yet time is all we have to move forward, greive, accept, etc.
It's a rough road, but it does in some ways end or at least gets less bumpy. You will find that love again someday. For now we are here for you. You are not alone, we all understand your pain and feel it with you. Wishing your tears turns to smiles soon. Like you said, you have to face the places you've been together, and that's hard to do, but I know what you mean. There isn't a spot in the yard that I don't see my baby, happy, enjoying life. Someday(soon I hope) it will make me smile to remember.
Perhaps you could place a stones with his name on it in the places he loved to go, in time if it's too painful now. Simon will always be your angel walking beside you forever...Many hugs..Ann