It's Been A Year...but I Miss Her Like Yesterday Options

[Hailey-Comet]

Hi All! It's been a while since I posted but it's comforting to see familiar posters.
I helped my best friend cross the bridge 2 days after Christmas last year. I was afraid my kids would corralate her death with the holiday and ruin it for them forever. Well, they were fine this year but I was a mess. If it wasn't for them, I would have slept my way until New years.

It's weird...her Bday was in November, & I was sad but I bought gifts for my other fur pets and had a little "party" celebrating her life. But Xmas brought back all the memories of her agonizing health decline, her undefeatable spirit and the excruchiating pain of saying good-bye.

Do anniversaries ever get easier?

[Furkidlets' Mom]

I'm so sorry you're one of those whose anniversary falls right around a major holiday. Holiday times are bad enough by themselves, much less having those as your 'markers'! I can't even imagine, even though I know there are many people for whom this is applicable......SO sad!

For me, my 2nd Christmas was just as hard as the 1st but in different ways (including the lack of shock, as Dottie mentioned), and this last one, my third, was really only saved, I feel, by a big, lovely sign my fur-girl sent me right on Christmas morning...otherwise, I KNOW it would have still been very difficult, considering how I'd been feeling beforehand. But she buoyed my spirit right up, helping me feel and know she was still right around me. So this third wasn't quite as wholly terrible as the 1st and 2nd, maybe, but was still giving me an aching heart no matter what else was going on, at least until that sign. I still missed my kids, though, and still cried, still had some challenges, still don't like Christmas anymore.

My own angelversary dates aren't right around Christmas, however, so I have additional times of the year where I'm hit by the memories....aside from all the other triggers that may also spawn emotional upheavals out of nowhere. My next one comes on Feb.2 and even though it will be the 9 year mark for my fur-boy's passing (the idea still takes my breath right away and it still only feels like maybe half that time), I'm pretty sure it'll still be a tough day. They all are, as far as I'm concerned. Having said that, it does seem to get a little....well, if not a whole lot easier, at least maybe shorter for the most intense parts. In a way, sometimes I can look at these days as sort of an 'excuse' to sit in the memories, with justifiable reason....as long as I'm not dwelling completely on only the 'bad' memories. But it's always a mix and I still can't even imagine having ONLY the better remembrances come to mind. I think that's wholly unrealistic.

Birthdays, so far, haven't hit me quite as hard as the other important dates, either, although I'm now into counting what ages my kidlets would have been were they still here with me....sigh.... In fact, their (shared) birthday date is right around the corner now....so this whole period between Christmas and Feb. is overall a pretty sad span for me.