I Did Nothing. Options

[greenie]

I've always felt that she had health issues. Her breathing is too labored or heavy most the time. Her name is Gingee, a small terrier mutt, blonde wiry and bratty, as terriers are. Out of his two dogs, she's always been my "favorite." Maybe a few pounds heavy, but hardly fat. I would say to Adam.."she's not supposed to be breathing so hard." So he took her to the vet, who said she just needed to lose 3-5 pounds.

Yesterday, I went to Adam's, returning from my moms for an overnight stay. I entered his home and he expressed his concern for Gingee, as she wasn't herself. I saw her sitting on the couch, panting very hard. I became immediately alarmed, and sat down by her. She wouldn't move from her spot, and her panting was so heavy her entire body was heaving. Of course, it was a Sunday, when no vets are open. There are ER Vets, but they usually charge you around $150 just to be examined. Adam is unemployed, and I don't have much either. We worried about money. He said he wanted to take her, and then tell them he couldn't pay. I told him that isn't how ~~ works. We wondered if we were overreacting. We had a dinner to go to later, and needed ingredients. I told Adam to go to the store and get the ingredients, while I stayed back and bathed.

Gingee and I lay down awhile. She was distressed, could not get comfortable. I prayed for her to be ok, maybe just until we could get to a vet tomorrow. I never pray.

Adam came back home. Gingee was on the couch. He said she seemed worse. I told him he has a number of things he could sell to pay someone back. He asked if we should go now, or go to dinner and come back and check on her? I told him I've thought all along we should go, but we need to be responsible and pay for it. I said maybe she is ok, we can check on her when we get back? Gingee was laying on her side on the couch now, not able to get up. Adam became distressed at this, and said we need to take her now. I agreed.

I got my coat while Adam coaxed her up from the couch. I was looking for her leash when I heard Adam yell "oh my god i think she just died."

She had collapsed. We panicked, wrapped her in a towel. We took her to the ER vet (20 miles away), but she probably died right as we left the house.

This was just yesterday. I have since studied and it seems she probably had some congestive heart failure, which if caught early on, can be treated and life prolonged.

I will never ever ever forgive myself, as long as I live.

[greenie]

Something happened this weekend. I knew it was going to be tough being at Adam's house..my first weekend there without Gingee. The empty areas were blindingly obvious. My mom and I had plans for a day outing on Sunday. She came over to Adam's to pick me up. Before i go any further, I want to share another picture of Gingee with you.



Not the best, but unfortunately I don't have access to any wonderful pics of her..most are cell phone pictures.

Anyways, gettin up and getting ready that Sunday morning was tough. My mom arrived and as usual, had a bag full of stuff to "give" to me (don't parents sometiems love to pawn their "junk" off onto their kids!) One of the items she pulled out of the bag was a book. It was a book she had given to my sister in 1991. My sister moved to England years ago, and had to leave some things behind. Here's the cover of the book..



I immediately choked up. I could not believe what I was seeing. I have never heard of this book or seen it in my life. It's a book about a dog named "Ginger", a little white/blonde terrier, who falls asleep one day and goes to the moon to play with "Rabbit" and eat cake. The illustrations are whimsical and colorful. The story is beautiful, playful and innocent.

I've always been a "celestial" person. My interests are geared towards planets and their whimsical meanings, than Heaven or more traditional beliefs.

It was my dads birthday on Sunday. He died 5 years ago, and would have been 76 years old.

I will post more pics of the book if I can....