I Did Nothing. Options

[greenie]

I've always felt that she had health issues. Her breathing is too labored or heavy most the time. Her name is Gingee, a small terrier mutt, blonde wiry and bratty, as terriers are. Out of his two dogs, she's always been my "favorite." Maybe a few pounds heavy, but hardly fat. I would say to Adam.."she's not supposed to be breathing so hard." So he took her to the vet, who said she just needed to lose 3-5 pounds.

Yesterday, I went to Adam's, returning from my moms for an overnight stay. I entered his home and he expressed his concern for Gingee, as she wasn't herself. I saw her sitting on the couch, panting very hard. I became immediately alarmed, and sat down by her. She wouldn't move from her spot, and her panting was so heavy her entire body was heaving. Of course, it was a Sunday, when no vets are open. There are ER Vets, but they usually charge you around $150 just to be examined. Adam is unemployed, and I don't have much either. We worried about money. He said he wanted to take her, and then tell them he couldn't pay. I told him that isn't how ~~ works. We wondered if we were overreacting. We had a dinner to go to later, and needed ingredients. I told Adam to go to the store and get the ingredients, while I stayed back and bathed.

Gingee and I lay down awhile. She was distressed, could not get comfortable. I prayed for her to be ok, maybe just until we could get to a vet tomorrow. I never pray.

Adam came back home. Gingee was on the couch. He said she seemed worse. I told him he has a number of things he could sell to pay someone back. He asked if we should go now, or go to dinner and come back and check on her? I told him I've thought all along we should go, but we need to be responsible and pay for it. I said maybe she is ok, we can check on her when we get back? Gingee was laying on her side on the couch now, not able to get up. Adam became distressed at this, and said we need to take her now. I agreed.

I got my coat while Adam coaxed her up from the couch. I was looking for her leash when I heard Adam yell "oh my god i think she just died."

She had collapsed. We panicked, wrapped her in a towel. We took her to the ER vet (20 miles away), but she probably died right as we left the house.

This was just yesterday. I have since studied and it seems she probably had some congestive heart failure, which if caught early on, can be treated and life prolonged.

I will never ever ever forgive myself, as long as I live.

[sweetmissy]

I am very sorry for the loss of your Gingee.

I can totally relate to how you are feeling right now. I lost my 8 yr. old doberman Missy to bloat/torsion five weeks ago. I am sick with guilt and grief. Missy had a history of digestive upsets and would vomit bile at least once a month. She would act a little strange and then hours later, eventually come around and would be back to herself. On November 1st, Missy was acting very restless. She kept getting up and lying down and a few times, tried to vomit. She was walking around the kitchen with her head down (a look that I had seen before). That day, I didn't think the signs were that out of the ordinary for her. I just thought she was having another one of her upset stomachs and would be okay after a few hours. Well, about three hours had gone by and my husband returned home from shopping. He went to pet her and he noticed that her abdomen was very tight and distended (something I failed to notice). He ran in from the garage where she was and told me that something was seriously wrong with her. I immediately called the emergency vet that was forty minutes away and was told to bring her right in. As we were cleaning out the back of the truck, she started walking over to him, became very wobbly and collapsed. I knew something was wrong, but did not think that it was something that was going to take her. They left for the vet and when my husband called a half hour later, he told me that she had passed on the way. I was in shock!

I have been sitting here day after day reliving those last few hours that she was with me. I blame myself for her death. How could I be that stupid? How could I not have watched her more closely? Why did I not go over and see what was wrong with her? I thought she wanted to be alone b/c that was what she would do when she wasn't feeling well. She used to go lay in the laundry room away from everyone else. I could have at least called the vet to tell them her symptoms, but I didn't. I really didn't think it was anything serious. She's gone and nothing I can do will bring her back. I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU ARE FEELING!!! It feels like torture! The pain is so strong and feels like it will never leave. I made a fatal mistake that cost Missy her life. Something I will regret forever.

The people are so nice on these forums. They understand what we are going through and are here to support and comfort us. I know right now, it's not going to make a difference what anyone says, but eventually, the pain will soften and the guilt will go away. It hasn't happened with me yet, but I'm anxiously waiting. Just know that you are not alone.

Hugs to you........

[greenie]

I am very sorry for the loss of your Gingee.

I can totally relate to how you are feeling right now. I lost my 8 yr. old doberman Missy to bloat/torsion five weeks ago. I am sick with guilt and grief. Missy had a history of digestive upsets and would vomit bile at least once a month. She would act a little strange and then hours later, eventually come around and would be back to herself. On November 1st, Missy was acting very restless. She kept getting up and lying down and a few times, tried to vomit. She was walking around the kitchen with her head down (a look that I had seen before). That day, I didn't think the signs were that out of the ordinary for her. I just thought she was having another one of her upset stomachs and would be okay after a few hours. Well, about three hours had gone by and my husband returned home from shopping. He went to pet her and he noticed that her abdomen was very tight and distended (something I failed to notice). He ran in from the garage where she was and told me that something was seriously wrong with her. I immediately called the emergency vet that was forty minutes away and was told to bring her right in. As we were cleaning out the back of the truck, she started walking over to him, became very wobbly and collapsed. I knew something was wrong, but did not think that it was something that was going to take her. They left for the vet and when my husband called a half hour later, he told me that she had passed on the way. I was in shock!

I have been sitting here day after day reliving those last few hours that she was with me. I blame myself for her death. How could I be that stupid? How could I not have watched her more closely? Why did I not go over and see what was wrong with her? I thought she wanted to be alone b/c that was what she would do when she wasn't feeling well. She used to go lay in the laundry room away from everyone else. I could have at least called the vet to tell them her symptoms, but I didn't. I really didn't think it was anything serious. She's gone and nothing I can do will bring her back. I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU ARE FEELING!!! It feels like torture! The pain is so strong and feels like it will never leave. I made a fatal mistake that cost Missy her life. Something I will regret forever.

The people are so nice on these forums. They understand what we are going through and are here to support and comfort us. I know right now, it's not going to make a difference what anyone says, but eventually, the pain will soften and the guilt will go away. It hasn't happened with me yet, but I'm anxiously waiting. Just know that you are not alone.

Hugs to you........

That is pretty much identical to what I went through.

I still kick myself because something inside of me DID alarm when I first saw her...she had never been in such distress. If I hadn't been so uppity about money and how we would pay for it...Gingee may still be here. That's the reality of it.

I feel like my world is crumbling. It's day two and it is harder than ever now. I keep replaying the situation in my head..I can't believe my Gingee is gone. I wish so bad to cuddle and kiss her again! I can't stand this pain.