Flossie, March 15, 1991-October 30, 2008 Options

[Flossie's Mom]

Three weeks today my precious Flossie since you crossed over the bridge.

You were the bravest little fighter I have ever known. So many battles you had to fight in your life. From back surgery at 3-1/2, kidney removal at 11-1/2 as well as various other life threatning situations to the return of the back/rear leg problems the last month of your life.

I could no longer watch you as you tried so hard to once again overcome the hand you were dealt. You never gave up and I knew you wouldn't. I hoped many nights as I laid beside you that you would go peacefully in your sleep but your will and heart were so strong I knew that it would have to be up to me to give up for you. If the time was not right, please forgive me Flossie. I did what I thought was best for you my sweet girl.

Flossie, I miss you more than anyone can imagine....... You will be in my heart forever..........

[Flossie's Mom]

Thank you Judy & Ken for your words of comfort.

I seem to be having a more difficult time now than I did the first 2 weeks. Partly because we are now back in North Carolina in the home we shared with Flossie most of her life. Where we lived just 3 short weeks when I came home from work to find her paralized in both hind legs. The begining of her 14 year journey to overcome many difficulties.

She never knew she was crippled. Just picked herself up, dusted herself off and started over. I always felt if she had the will to keep going it was up to me to do all I could to assist her with her efforts. Lots of people would have given up on her at her first medical crisis. Many people thought I went WAY overboard with her constant care but I see many people on here that also go above "normal" care. You know, the old "it's only a dog" comments that always come.

I've had many pets over the years but this is my once in a lifetime special connection. I've loved them all, took good care of them all but Flossie was the love of my life. I also have a cat that I had a special connection with as well as one that I grieved over for a long time. My Doofus.... a black cat with personality plus and a pure devil was my special kitty. I didn't dwell on his passing even though I nearly changed my mind when I was on the way to the vet to put him to sleep. He'd gone blind with feline lieukemia & was going downhill. My other kitty, Baby, was traumatized as a tiny thing, never could socialize her & had cancer at 14. I promised she would not suffer and I waited too long to take her to put her to sleep. She had rallied after her last fluid shot so I had false hope. She did not go peacefully & died in my arms 1 block from the vets' office. I beat myself up for a long time over that.

Seeing Doofus go to sleep peacefully while I comforted him and then see Baby struggle & suffer made my decision with Flossie a bit easier to make. A gut wrenching week once I made the appointment. Well, really a gut wrenching month up to that week. Waiting for a sign of improvement.... waiting for 2 good days in a row..... waiting for more good days than bad..... then see her actually run (her kind of run.... but a run anyhow) just 2 days before she was to be put down. Sort of a bittersweet sight to see. Then return to her poor pitiful struggle to walk the next day. I tried to fool myself that she'd get over it while I knew in my heart that it would not happen.

Today I got a card along with a personal note from her local longtime vet as well as his technician. He says she was such a fighter & really beat the odds living as long as she did. He expected her to live forever and she will be missed. The tech called her a trooper.

Our daughter who lives with us had to put her 13 year old kitty to sleep 3 days before we put Flossie to sleep so it was not a happy week for our family. This was her "love connection" cat. A sweet, sweet cat. She slept with me most nights so while I was gone she slept in my bed. When she got so sick with her cancer near the end Michelle had to sleep in my bed with her.

As luck would have it we "acquired" a kitten and a young dog 4 months before we lost our beautiful Flossie. So I do have something to detract from the hole left in my heart that's as big as the grand canyon! I don't expect that hole to get smaller but I do hope it will not be a wide open hole sometime in the days to come. Just at least have a protective "dome" over it or something I guess would work for me.

Again, thanks for the comforting words I have received here. It's nice that there are people here who completely understand how difficult it is to lose a beloved pet.

Ginger