Ubukitty, A wonderful friend and companion Options

[Ubukitty's Pal]

All,

I just registered with LS this afternoon and was totally amazed to find such a wonderful site full of loving and caring people.

My loving companion of 20+ years died Wednesday morning from chronic kidney failure. She was a black long-haired kitty
who found me at the animal shelter back in 1988 - only 2 weeks old. I bottle fed her and weened her and we were together
from that time on.

When I awoke Wednesday morning she could not stand and barely could lift her head... and about 30 minutes later she had
a seizure and last gasp of air before passing away in my arms. Ever since then my grief has been overwhelming and the
crying just won't stop - I just want my baby back to give her more kisses and rubs and to tell her how much I love her.

I awoke at our normal 7:06am wakeup and eat time and was in the kitchen before I stopped myself, and after working
outside on the farm I still came into the house this morning and headed straight for the bedroom to check on her as was
my habit.

Today when I found LS it made a huge difference in my not feeling alone with this horrible depression and feeling of guilt
on not spending every moment at her side when she was with me; and now all I can think of is how she died and of what
else I could have done to keep us together.

I just had to tell someone about our seperation who would be able to understand.

Thanks for being here and letting me share.

[LoveThem]

I so sorry to hear about your baby. My Little Guy and his twin brother were both black, long-haired kitties, ages 16 1/2 and 10 when I lost them and their sister was short haired black and left at age 15. I felt so fortunate having had them so many years.

I was glad to read you had your girl for over 20 years. We always know it is never long enough but then we know too there is a day (we always hope is far away), they will have to leave us.

What a wonderful Mom you are to have raised her for so long. Each year is a blessing. You must have some favorite pictures of her you would like to post sometime. Pictures help us remember the happy, healthy times. Those are the memories we use to overcome the sadness and the pain.

It is true that coming here does let you know you are not alone..every tear you shed...we have been there many times. Every pain that overwhelms you..we have been there too and many here are in different stages...some, like you, have the fresh intense pain of a recent loss, others have the pain of a loss that may not be as recent but really truly always hurts so very much to think about.

We will love them forever and miss them forever. I have pictures of my special ones in all my rooms so I look into their eyes when I enter a room. I took hair from their hairbrush and put it with a favorite toy in a ziplock bag and it is the only way left I truly can physically touch them.
I put my favorite picture of my last one, Little Guy, as my avatar here and also as my desktop wallpaper so every day when I turn my computer on...we look into each other's eyes and when I turn it off for the night..I can say goodnight to him and know I will see him every day when my computer is on. He is lying on the top of a couch looking directly at me.

After his 16 1/2 years....I had a very hard time and still do, when thinking of him. After a short time I could not handle the emptiness and went to my local SPCA and found a kitty who looks very much like my babies and he is the distraction I needed to help me not let the pain overwhelm me every day...a pain I could not stop because the cir%%stances that caused it I could not change.

One Mom here said it best for me: She said:
The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her.

We all know that day of pain will come but we would not trade having them in our lives as long as possible...to avoid the pain that comes from missing them so terribly much. Many times we type here through tears...because that bond of love will always be there. There are those here who have experienced a feeling of communication with their baby. I have not been fortunate enough to have that experience but his pictures and his memories are a part of me that can never know separation.

If I could, I would give you a huge, tight hug....with tears streaming (which they are doing as I type this)....and tell you I know EXACTLY what you are feeling (as so many others here do also).

So sorry about your sweet girl. She can never truly leave you because she is a part of your heart and she will reside there forever.

Hugs,

Judy