Waiting For Me At The Rainbow Bridge, One spunky coragous little Poodle Options

[Flossie's Mom]

I found this site the day before I had to assist my Flossie with her trip to the Rainbow Bridge. That was Wednesday the 29th. I found comfort in knowing I had a place to return to when it was all over on the 30th.

Flossie was over 17-1/2 years old ..... I had hoped for her to make it to 18 but I really knew in July that would not happen. She has a seizure & I was beside myself! My first experience & I knew she was dying & began to blame myself that she was dying that way. When it was over & after about an hour of her trying to "get her bearings" I finally realized what had just happened. Called her vet the next day and since he knows her history I asked if this was a sign? He said it COULD be but to just wait to see what or when or even IF it happened again. Mind you we are in North Dakota at the time and her vet is in North Carolina. She has had 4 all together that I know of & I believe she had one before the first one I saw. So I was ALWAYS with her from then on.

We are still in ND & as much as I wanted to take her home to NC it was not meant to be. At least not in the same form she came her. We will wait for her ashes before making the trip back home.

Flossie bacame one of our family when we went to "just look" at a poodle listed for sale. We had just lost our black poodle named Ziggy about 4 months before when he was 8 and had waited a year to get him after losing another black poodle named Pizzazz. She was a real live wire & we all fell in love with her at once. Such a live wire that I called back to see if her brother was still available as she needed lots of play time. He was sold already & the cat really caught it. He was young enough that they played many, many hours. Both of them were high energy so it all worked out.

So strikes my poor little Flossie had against her over the past 14 years & she was such a fighter. Her vets have all been amazed at her recoveries & longivity given her ailments.

At 3-1/2 I came home to find her dragging herself by her front legs with her hind legs sticking out between them. Looking so helpless. What happened we'll never know. She had an acute severe disc herniation at T11/12. The vet school in Raleigh gave her a 45% chance of ever walking so it was my decision to do the surgery. Given her personality I just knew she was a survivor. 6 weeks of carrying her outside, learning to assist her being able to urinate & I did what I called her therapy by laying her on her back & moving her legs ever so slightly once she showed she was able. The day she decided to chase the neighbor up on his porch dragging her crippled legs behind herself was really something.

We had some tough times with the legs & back but lots of good times also. She had no idea she was crippled. Then the cat had gone blind as he had feline lukemia. They still played for quite some time. We say "look at blind-e-locks & crip!"

At 11 she began keeping me awake from time to time with that "help me" look in her eyes. I figured the back was causing discomfort. Finally she was not eating & running a fever. After some medication & thinking possibly doggy flu.... we had tests & ultrasound & found a stone logged in the ureter. Operation on a Monday for that, visits every night left me bawling all the way home because she wouldn't eat for anyone & was terrified at the hospital. Friday she may come home so I called.... Dr. has just taken ultra sound so will call me back. When I got that call it was not good. More stones in the same place. 2 options as far as surgery so I opted for kidney removal. WOW... 2 major surgeries in less than a week. This time we called her "chicken legs" as all her legs were shaved to put the IV's in for all this stuff.

We have taken her on the 6,000 mile round trip vacation every summer since 2003. Our vet was surprised we didn't leave her with our daughter. Though she loves her, Flossie would not have done well at all. In 2004 she returned home not eating or drinking so we had allowed her to come off the strict perscription diet just to get something down her..... Thank God for McDonalds sausage biscuts & hamburgers & ice water!!!!!!!!

About 2 weeks later the groomer called me to tell me I needed to come get her at once & take her to the vet. She showed signs of possible internal bleeding. This time her platelet count was lower than the vet had ever seen. Blood transfusions maybe????? OK, I said to my husband ONE & then I'll have to let go.......... I can't put her through much more......... We tried steriod pills.......... that worked & the old girl became a porker............. & begged for food all the time. Her normal weight is around 8-9lb & she went to 11. Slowly came off the medication & leveled out.

These are the main & most serious obsticles that my beloved Flossie had to endure. In March this year I considered not making this trip as she was having what I call bad days. Her hearing & eyesight not good any longer, sleeping lots, unable to take the long walks she always enjoyed. Wandering, sitting in one place starring at the floor etc. Well, we made that trip (and believe me the preparation I made for this dog is laughable), she had mostly a wonderful summer out on a farmstead that "fell into our laps". She could walk around without a leash or I carried her, smell the fresh air and sleep away on her blanket in a large cage out in the yard.

In June, while in Montana, a little dog came into the yard being curious about who we were. We observed her over 2-3 days. She appeared to be a stray with a big dog always by her side. We'd see her heading out with what appeared to be trash. One day she decided she was willing to come in for a visit. Long story short.... we left there with her in our car 20 days after our first visit from her. I didn't want another dog..... so hubby has a dog..............

As it turns out she is just what the Dr. ordered. And we have now aquired another cat. We have traveled with all 3 & had a good time.

Now as we are ready to head home for the winter, Flossie is unable to walk most days. Her legs draw up & she bounces across the floor like a bucking horse. Can't get her groomed anymore as she is cranky. Sparing all the exact details, I've been having to clean her up as she falls down when doing her big job & it all gets entangled in the hair as she can't be groomed. Fights me doing that & has started biteing me as she is so uncomfortable. I get up 2-3 times every night to "walk" her.

The longest week of my life is over now as I made the appointment to relieve her misery a week ahead of time. Difficult as it was, is and will be, I'm OK with it as I know I did the right thing for her.

She has left a hole as big as the Grand Canyon in my heart for now but I try to remember how full it was for so long because of her. The kitty; Mr. Jingles, laid by me last night each time I woke up & tucked his little head up in my neck & kissed me over & over. Today, the little stray; WeeBee, asks me to pick her up each time I go outside (I always carried Flossie) and has now come to the door & wanted in (not a normal thing for her to do). These 2, not wanted by me in the begining babies, will see me through the rough days ahead.

We will also be short a special kitty when we get home as our daughters 13 year old Lady Bug had to be sent to Rainbow Bridge on Monday. Two in one week seems unfair but she had cancer & was suffering the last few days. She slept with me most nights also. We talk & bawl & check to see how each other are doing. Some friends of hers made fun of her that she wouldn't "go out" the night before she lost her.... we know it is their loss to have never had a pet that meant this much to them.

It has been comforting to read the stories here & know I'm not the only one who gets so attached to their babies.

Sorry for the rambling but it does help to write it down. I'm going for a walk to the pasture, like I did the last day with Flossie so she could smell the fresh air & look over the place she had been for several of her last months. How I wish she'd been here to run when she was a puppy.... she loved to run..... I hope she is running again now.

Flossie, please tell Pedro, Frisky, Puff, Percy, Pizzazz, Marvin, Ziggy, Doofus, Baby & Lady Bug hello from Mom, Dad & Michelle

[Flossie's Mom]

Dottie,

Thank you sooooooooooo much for those words & video's. My heart will go on really meant something special. What a voice she has and what a beautiful song.

I just couldn't click on the video's yesterday. I knew this was going to be a very difficult time for me and I am trying to tell myself over & over not to cry as we had a wonderful 17-1/2 years together. I know it is normal to grieve and I know it was out of love for her that I made the decision as to when her time had come. But that old heart/mind thing has some conflict sometimes.

The first night Flossies face appeared when I was sort of in that half awake state and as the Rainbow Bridge tells us..... she was young again! Beautiful. All groomed & with her pink bows. Bright eyes & almost smiling. Last night I heard her little smacking sound she made in her sleep sometimes with her mouth if it was a little dry.

Our new little stray doggie that adopted us is trying ever so hard to make me smile. She has been climbing on my lap or running up wagging her tail whenever I go outside. Runs in the house with such a happy tail wag & "I'm here" look that I can't help but smile. She wants to play or be picked up. What a sweetheart of a dog we have aquired. She is really my husbands dog and very attached to him but is truly making an effort to comfort me I believe.

About 4 years ago I lost a special cat and waited too long to do the right thing as she was doing so well with the things we'd been doing to make her comfortable. I had promised her I wouldn't let her suffer and I ended up losing her in my arms on the way to the vet. Her screams haunted me for a very, very long time. She died 1 block from the vet & I felt so guilty. She actually waited for me to get home from work. She was fine when I left that morning. When I got home she was under my bed struggling for breath. She even tried to drag herself out after a few minutes. She was a beautiful but very timid cat that started out tramatized by 3 of her sibblings being killed & her hiding under a pile of lumber & tin. No one but me could ever pet or touch her for almost her entire 12 years. My daughter could eventually but Baby had to be up on her window seat & Michelle could not make any effort to pick her up.

I truly believe the grief for her was different than this will be. No beating myself up over what I should have done. This is not the first pet I've lost. Many have gone before Flossie.... it is just that she was that "special" one. Right from the begining & right to the end. Now I think I have my next "buddy". A male siamese looking kitty called Mr. Jingles. I need to post him & the dog in the new pet section.

Thanks again Dottie.... I see you have been a soothing supporter to many here. It means a lot.

Ginger AKA Flossies Mom

[AngelCareOne]

Dottie,

Thank you sooooooooooo much for those words & video's. My heart will go on really meant something special. What a voice she has and what a beautiful song.

I just couldn't click on the video's yesterday. I knew this was going to be a very difficult time for me and I am trying to tell myself over & over not to cry as we had a wonderful 17-1/2 years together. I know it is normal to grieve and I know it was out of love for her that I made the decision as to when her time had come. But that old heart/mind thing has some conflict sometimes.

The first night Flossies face appeared when I was sort of in that half awake state and as the Rainbow Bridge tells us..... she was young again! Beautiful. All groomed & with her pink bows. Bright eyes & almost smiling. Last night I heard her little smacking sound she made in her sleep sometimes with her mouth if it was a little dry.

Our new little stray doggie that adopted us is trying ever so hard to make me smile. She has been climbing on my lap or running up wagging her tail whenever I go outside. Runs in the house with such a happy tail wag & "I'm here" look that I can't help but smile. She wants to play or be picked up. What a sweetheart of a dog we have aquired. She is really my husbands dog and very attached to him but is truly making an effort to comfort me I believe.

About 4 years ago I lost a special cat and waited too long to do the right thing as she was doing so well with the things we'd been doing to make her comfortable. I had promised her I wouldn't let her suffer and I ended up losing her in my arms on the way to the vet. Her screams haunted me for a very, very long time. She died 1 block from the vet & I felt so guilty. She actually waited for me to get home from work. She was fine when I left that morning. When I got home she was under my bed struggling for breath. She even tried to drag herself out after a few minutes. She was a beautiful but very timid cat that started out tramatized by 3 of her sibblings being killed & her hiding under a pile of lumber & tin. No one but me could ever pet or touch her for almost her entire 12 years. My daughter could eventually but Baby had to be up on her window seat & Michelle could not make any effort to pick her up.

I truly believe the grief for her was different than this will be. No beating myself up over what I should have done. This is not the first pet I've lost. Many have gone before Flossie.... it is just that she was that "special" one. Right from the begining & right to the end. Now I think I have my next "buddy". A male siamese looking kitty called Mr. Jingles. I need to post him & the dog in the new pet section.

Thanks again Dottie.... I see you have been a soothing supporter to many here. It means a lot.

Ginger AKA Flossies Mom

Dearest Ginger, I read every bit of what you've shared and do believe I can respond using my own words. Indeed, I truly feel you and have in my mind all I want to tell you ... Using my own words. Blessings, Dear One! Firstly, again I hope to gosh you know what a genuine Treasure you are to all fur kids past and present. Oh My Gosh, you most certainly are! My response to you will be very long and I want to take time to compose all I wish to say to you using my own words this time, responding to each and everything you've shared with me and all here at LS. I don't honestly feel that I'll be saying anything that you don't already know, Dear One. Still, it means so much to care, share, talk ... And so much more ... And so much more ...

However, and I may be way out in left field so please forgive me it that's so but as an interim post here, I do get the feeling that a teeny tiny tad of a little bit of "comic relief" so to speak would help you much at this time while I type in advance to reply back to you all I wish to share about what you just posted. So very, very much I believe I can offer and ... Well ... Here's that little bit of "comic relief" just until I type out all I want so desperately to tell you about all you've shared above, Ginger. Hugs!!! Here goes ...

After reading about your special kitty of four years ago that you lost so tragically, how she was so timid, shy and even hid probably more than you'll ever realize ... Well, she had good reason and sure did pull the wool over everybody's eyes. Such a mischievous moggie. Here, let me show you just one time that you didn't see because I was there just in the nick of time to save the day ...

Ginger, one time that sweet, dear kitty got the goldfish out of its bowl again and acted all innocent about it. Quickly, I got the fishy out of her mouth and put it back in the water. Whewww! Lookie for yourself if you don't believe me ...







Oh, here's the fishy I pulled out of her mouth and put back in its fish bowl ...

Well, she did fool everyone didn't she? Goodness Gracious Me!

Dearest Ginger, I pray the above story brought at least a small smile and some desperately needed comfort to you even if just for a moment and I will be composing the honest and for true reply I wish to tell you about all you've shared in your response to me about that kitten, about Flossie, about how very important it is that you allow yourself to grieve and to take your time (explaining the many reasons that's so), pointing you to information that is so very helpful when grieving in such sorrow, devastation, the many phases, validating all you're feeling and several things you yourself can do which hopefully will lead you on your path to healing. And, about the new doggie and all the rest. Okay? Okay!

Many Comforting Hugs, Love, Peace and Angels to You, Flossie, That Kitty, Doggie and All!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox