Waiting For Me At The Rainbow Bridge, One spunky coragous little Poodle Options

[Flossie's Mom]

I found this site the day before I had to assist my Flossie with her trip to the Rainbow Bridge. That was Wednesday the 29th. I found comfort in knowing I had a place to return to when it was all over on the 30th.

Flossie was over 17-1/2 years old ..... I had hoped for her to make it to 18 but I really knew in July that would not happen. She has a seizure & I was beside myself! My first experience & I knew she was dying & began to blame myself that she was dying that way. When it was over & after about an hour of her trying to "get her bearings" I finally realized what had just happened. Called her vet the next day and since he knows her history I asked if this was a sign? He said it COULD be but to just wait to see what or when or even IF it happened again. Mind you we are in North Dakota at the time and her vet is in North Carolina. She has had 4 all together that I know of & I believe she had one before the first one I saw. So I was ALWAYS with her from then on.

We are still in ND & as much as I wanted to take her home to NC it was not meant to be. At least not in the same form she came her. We will wait for her ashes before making the trip back home.

Flossie bacame one of our family when we went to "just look" at a poodle listed for sale. We had just lost our black poodle named Ziggy about 4 months before when he was 8 and had waited a year to get him after losing another black poodle named Pizzazz. She was a real live wire & we all fell in love with her at once. Such a live wire that I called back to see if her brother was still available as she needed lots of play time. He was sold already & the cat really caught it. He was young enough that they played many, many hours. Both of them were high energy so it all worked out.

So strikes my poor little Flossie had against her over the past 14 years & she was such a fighter. Her vets have all been amazed at her recoveries & longivity given her ailments.

At 3-1/2 I came home to find her dragging herself by her front legs with her hind legs sticking out between them. Looking so helpless. What happened we'll never know. She had an acute severe disc herniation at T11/12. The vet school in Raleigh gave her a 45% chance of ever walking so it was my decision to do the surgery. Given her personality I just knew she was a survivor. 6 weeks of carrying her outside, learning to assist her being able to urinate & I did what I called her therapy by laying her on her back & moving her legs ever so slightly once she showed she was able. The day she decided to chase the neighbor up on his porch dragging her crippled legs behind herself was really something.

We had some tough times with the legs & back but lots of good times also. She had no idea she was crippled. Then the cat had gone blind as he had feline lukemia. They still played for quite some time. We say "look at blind-e-locks & crip!"

At 11 she began keeping me awake from time to time with that "help me" look in her eyes. I figured the back was causing discomfort. Finally she was not eating & running a fever. After some medication & thinking possibly doggy flu.... we had tests & ultrasound & found a stone logged in the ureter. Operation on a Monday for that, visits every night left me bawling all the way home because she wouldn't eat for anyone & was terrified at the hospital. Friday she may come home so I called.... Dr. has just taken ultra sound so will call me back. When I got that call it was not good. More stones in the same place. 2 options as far as surgery so I opted for kidney removal. WOW... 2 major surgeries in less than a week. This time we called her "chicken legs" as all her legs were shaved to put the IV's in for all this stuff.

We have taken her on the 6,000 mile round trip vacation every summer since 2003. Our vet was surprised we didn't leave her with our daughter. Though she loves her, Flossie would not have done well at all. In 2004 she returned home not eating or drinking so we had allowed her to come off the strict perscription diet just to get something down her..... Thank God for McDonalds sausage biscuts & hamburgers & ice water!!!!!!!!

About 2 weeks later the groomer called me to tell me I needed to come get her at once & take her to the vet. She showed signs of possible internal bleeding. This time her platelet count was lower than the vet had ever seen. Blood transfusions maybe????? OK, I said to my husband ONE & then I'll have to let go.......... I can't put her through much more......... We tried steriod pills.......... that worked & the old girl became a porker............. & begged for food all the time. Her normal weight is around 8-9lb & she went to 11. Slowly came off the medication & leveled out.

These are the main & most serious obsticles that my beloved Flossie had to endure. In March this year I considered not making this trip as she was having what I call bad days. Her hearing & eyesight not good any longer, sleeping lots, unable to take the long walks she always enjoyed. Wandering, sitting in one place starring at the floor etc. Well, we made that trip (and believe me the preparation I made for this dog is laughable), she had mostly a wonderful summer out on a farmstead that "fell into our laps". She could walk around without a leash or I carried her, smell the fresh air and sleep away on her blanket in a large cage out in the yard.

In June, while in Montana, a little dog came into the yard being curious about who we were. We observed her over 2-3 days. She appeared to be a stray with a big dog always by her side. We'd see her heading out with what appeared to be trash. One day she decided she was willing to come in for a visit. Long story short.... we left there with her in our car 20 days after our first visit from her. I didn't want another dog..... so hubby has a dog..............

As it turns out she is just what the Dr. ordered. And we have now aquired another cat. We have traveled with all 3 & had a good time.

Now as we are ready to head home for the winter, Flossie is unable to walk most days. Her legs draw up & she bounces across the floor like a bucking horse. Can't get her groomed anymore as she is cranky. Sparing all the exact details, I've been having to clean her up as she falls down when doing her big job & it all gets entangled in the hair as she can't be groomed. Fights me doing that & has started biteing me as she is so uncomfortable. I get up 2-3 times every night to "walk" her.

The longest week of my life is over now as I made the appointment to relieve her misery a week ahead of time. Difficult as it was, is and will be, I'm OK with it as I know I did the right thing for her.

She has left a hole as big as the Grand Canyon in my heart for now but I try to remember how full it was for so long because of her. The kitty; Mr. Jingles, laid by me last night each time I woke up & tucked his little head up in my neck & kissed me over & over. Today, the little stray; WeeBee, asks me to pick her up each time I go outside (I always carried Flossie) and has now come to the door & wanted in (not a normal thing for her to do). These 2, not wanted by me in the begining babies, will see me through the rough days ahead.

We will also be short a special kitty when we get home as our daughters 13 year old Lady Bug had to be sent to Rainbow Bridge on Monday. Two in one week seems unfair but she had cancer & was suffering the last few days. She slept with me most nights also. We talk & bawl & check to see how each other are doing. Some friends of hers made fun of her that she wouldn't "go out" the night before she lost her.... we know it is their loss to have never had a pet that meant this much to them.

It has been comforting to read the stories here & know I'm not the only one who gets so attached to their babies.

Sorry for the rambling but it does help to write it down. I'm going for a walk to the pasture, like I did the last day with Flossie so she could smell the fresh air & look over the place she had been for several of her last months. How I wish she'd been here to run when she was a puppy.... she loved to run..... I hope she is running again now.

Flossie, please tell Pedro, Frisky, Puff, Percy, Pizzazz, Marvin, Ziggy, Doofus, Baby & Lady Bug hello from Mom, Dad & Michelle

[Flossie's Mom]

Thanks so much Beth for your words of comfort.

Today I decided to go for a walk alone & when I got outside I realized the time was exactly 24 hours from the time Flossie went to the Rainbow Bridge. This was a very long lonely day for me. Even though I'm OK with my decision I'm not OK..... does that make sense?

She slept with me every night except for the few that she was sleeping so sound I couldn't bear to move her for over 17-1/2 years. My daughter called today to see how I made it through the night just like I called her last Tuesday morning to ask the same question. Sad,sad week for our family.

Since Flossie took so much care the past few months I have to get myself organized & overcome what I am calling ADD since I can't concentrate long enough to do things that I need to.

Tommorow is another day. Hopefully I will rest better tonight. When she was younger, she would go to the stairs & look up them & come let me know she thought it was time to go to bed. She did eventually get to walk good enough after the back surgery to be able to get up & down the stairs. When it became difficult for her again I'd put my hand under her little tummy holding her hind legs up & she'd walk up the stairs on her front legs. At the top when I took my hand away, she'd reach back & lick my hand as if to say thanks!

Thanks again Beth. I've read about your baby also & know you miss him very much.

Flossies Mom

[goliath]

No matter how or when these precious ones leave us, they ascend to Heaven above, knowing how much they were loved. We are left with the memories of the years spent as they blessed and enriched our lives so much. Having been privileged to share Flossies's entire life with her was such a blessing for both of you. A golden thread made of love will always keep you and she bound together. Though Flossie's body has perished, her courageous loving spirit will stay by your side now just as she always did.

Thank you for reading about my precious Goliath. It is to him I owe so much because he was the one who taught me the very most about loving and living. My heart is completely at peace as I cherish the past and dream of the future. But, more importantly I have learned to live for today. Goliath was a magnificent teacher and I was an attentive student. I carry Goliath's love wherever I go and see the beauty in the rest of this world. EVERYTHING means so much more to me today and as each new day begins I know there is yet another opportunity for me to try and make a difference in this world. Oh what a blessing these babies are!

I felt a tear slip down my cheek as I read about how you and Flossie shared your slumber with each other. Goliath slept curled up in my arms each and every night of his life. Just before settling in, he would make his "happy noises", letting me know we were snuggled in safe and sound. It is still at night when I miss him the very most.

You were such a good Mom to Flossie, taking care of her right into her senior years with complete love and devotion.

I wish you a sound and restful sleep tonight. May your dreams be filled with only the fondest memories you have of your sweet little Flossie.

Hugs of comfort and peace,
Beth