My Heart Is Broken Options

[Casey's Mom]

I lost my Casey on Sunday morning at 11:35 and I am completely devastated. Casey was my best friend and baby girl. I rescued her from the animal shelter 16 1/2 years ago when she was just 6 weeks old, and she has been the biggest part of my life since. I'm beating myself up over every time I fussed at her over the years ... I can't help it. She was the sweetest girl in the world, and never failed to show me how much she loved me. She died in my arms and I miss her more than I thought possible.

She had a place in everything that I do every day ... she would lay at my feet while I was putting on makeup every morning, she would meow "MaMa" when she saw me after I got home from work every day ... we had a routine each day of taking care of her and now I'm so very lost. I never realized how un-alone I was until Sunday afternoon, and even though I want to be home a greiving, home isn't the same place anymore. I see her everywhere ... my life centered around her and taking care of her (especially lately when she started to not feel 100%), and now I just don't know what to do with myself. Coming home from work yesterday to a completely empty house for the first time was horrible. I coulnd't do anything but lay on the couch, hold her picture, one of her bed cushions and a towel that was hers, and cry and keep asking myself if there was anything else I could have done for her. I still tell her goodnight when I lay my head down on my pillow because I've done it for almost 17 years and I just can't stop abruptly. The first day was awful, the 2nd day was awful, and the 3rd day is still awful ... when does the grief get any better? I feel like I've lost a part of myself. I know that she's healthy and waiting on me, but I am hurting so very much right now. I know that God will send me a sign from her when the time is right ... He has answered all of my other prayers for her in His way ... I just need to know that she is okay and happy and taken care of.

I apologize for rambling, but my thoughts are just so all over the place right now ...

She will always be my precious baby girl and I will always be her MaMa ... I just feel so completely lost and alone right now.

[AngelCareOne]

Dearest Casey's Mom, (I am sorry as I did believe your name is Lisa. My apologies), I very much recommend that book as well. So very many pearls of wisdom. For now, if you haven't yet taken a look at those articles, you'll see special categories or stages described and explained in that second article and one of those stages/phases of grief is "Guilt." Please do take a look at least at that one stage and see what it says as it may be of great help to you. Each stage is printed in bold so you can't miss it. Again, it's in the area on this board called "Pet Loss Support Resources and Articles" and titled: 'Your Fur Child Loss Devastation - You Are Not Going Insane' and tagged "Emotions and Behavior Caused By Pet Loss."

Here is a direct link that will lead you there if you'll please click Here. You're suffering so much pain and devastation and reading at least a little of those two articles at this time may be of some help to you. I can barley see the PC monitor for my tears as I do truly and deeply feel your sorrow, grief and more, Dear One.

As far as animals possessing a soul, yes. They most certainly do. Not only did I serve as a nurse in the human medical field for 26 plus years but also served in Animal Rescue and Rehabilitation for almost 30 years. Both vocations were a labor of love and I still do what I can with animals of most species when I'm asked. If I'm not able to serve "hands on" then I still freely serve as a consultant and I never charge. I wish so much to share much of what I've experienced so you'll know what I know.

You may or may not be Catholic but even the Pope declared all animals have souls back in 2002. Please see the following excerpt if it will be of any comfort to you, Cassy's Mom ...

"Benedict XVI Continues Tradition of Papal Concern for Animals" (Pope John Paul II Also.) . . .

When he was asked about the rights of animals in a 2002 interview, he said, "That is a very serious question. At any rate, we can see that they are given into our care, that we cannot just do whatever we want with them. Animals, too, are God's creatures . . . Certainly, a sort of industrial use of creatures, so that geese are fed in such a way as to produce as large a liver as possible, or hens live so packed together that they become just caricatures of birds, this degrading of living creatures to a commodity seems to me in fact to contradict the relationship of mutuality that comes across in the Bible."

Cardinal Ratzinger was echoing official church teachings, as laid out in the Catholic Catechism, which states clearly that "Animals are God's creatures. He surrounds them with his providential care. By their mere existence they bless him and give him glory. Thus men owe them kindness. We should recall the gentleness with which saints like St. Francis of Assisi or St. Philip Neri treated animals. . . . It is contrary to human dignity to cause animals to suffer or die needlessly."

Compassion for animals was also a prominent theme in John Paul II's papacy. Pope John Paul proclaimed that "the animals possess a soul and men must love and feel solidarity with our smaller brethren." He went on to say that all animals are "fruit of the creative action of the Holy Spirit and merit respect" and that they are "as near to God as men are." Animal lovers everywhere were overjoyed! He reminded people that all living beings, including animals, came into being because of the "breath" of God. Animals possess the divine spark of life"the living quality that is the soul"and they are not inferior beings, as factory farmers, fur farmers, and others who exploit animals for profit would have us believe. After he became Pope John Paul II, His Holiness went to Assisi, the birthplace of St. Francis, and spoke of the saint's love for animals. He declared, "We, too, are called to a similar attitude."

There's so very much more I wish to share and want to make sure you're ready to hear. At this point, it appears to me that you need comfort and assurance more than anything else ... Except, of course, your fur baby. I am so sorry!

Please do read at least the "Guilt" section of the second article at that link to the area on this board and that may lead you wishing to read the rest, the other article and the one for which I left a link but didn't print.

Please let me know if there is anything in the world I can do to help. Any questions I can answer. I'm here and will try to be here as much as I can to see you through this. Please know you're in my thoughts and prayers as I wing many Angels to soothe and guide you through what mush be just about the most gosh awful time in your life.

Many Comforting Hugs, Love, Peace and Angels to You and Casey!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox.