How Do You Survive The First Day?, coping...maybe Options

[Dianaa]

Hi....
I can hardly believe I'm writing these words-- our sweet little dog Yogi was struck and killed by a speeding driver yesterday afternoon.

She was an eleven year old Italian Greyhound, very vibrant and loving. My husband took her out front to chase the ball-- her favorite thing in the world. Usually she was pretty sensible and stayed on the lawn but for some unknowable reason, yesterday she stepped into the street --at the exact moment this car seemed to materialize from nowhere. If it hadn't been speeding it wouldn't have hit her-- she was practically standing still.

I was inside in my office at home and heard the whole thing happen-- my husband yelling, the impact, all of it. She was killed pretty instantly-- I'm grateful that she didn't suffer. I did scream once at the driver who was crouched by her body-- I couldn't help myself, I screamed with all my might, You killed my dog. At least he didn't hit and run. My husband told him he shouldn't be speeding and that he better scram. I felt like my whole body was shaking apart. I went and stood by her broken body until we could move her, to make sure no other cars hit her.

We don't have children, though I'm not even sure if that really matters, but we adored Yogi. We had her for almost eleven years, since she was six weeks old. Her little muzzle was turning white but she was still completely joyous, vibrant and puppylike. She had one fang that kind of tilted out, so we called her Snagglepuss. She had this way of shivering and giving people "kisses" by wrapping her forepaws around your head and pressing her chest against your face. She loved all sorts of people--even crazy people and scary people that you kind of wished she didn't love so much ;-) I guess all pet-lovers must think this, but what a magical quality she had --it was uniquely her own and I'm crushed, knowing there will never ever be another one like her. They're just like people, aren't they? Each one so unique.

Maybe it's human nature to feel like if we love something so much that somehow it magically protects them, that nothing will ever happen to them. It's such so hard to believe or take in. I don't know. I feel so stupid and lost and like something has torn my heart right out of my chest. It's 2:30 in the afternoon as I write this. I can barely eat. All I seem to do is leak tears and stare. I keep thinking I see her. I keep imagining I heard her little toenails tapping on the floor. She loved to watch us from her beds as we worked. What do you do? How do you not die from grief? I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound grand or melodramatic, I just really mean it. How do you get through the day after they die?

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[Dianaa]

Thanks for your sweet message Ann,

Yogi really was a bit of a gecko herself. After we got her, to my surprise I began to see little echos of her in practically every animal I looked at-- horses, birds, even manatees and elephants! It was something in the movement of their eyes or the way they held their head or just their patient gentleness. I love the way you can see the spirit of the individual in the body of the community, I feel like it's reminding me of her and keeping her so close to me all the time. I read your profile and know that you will start to see signs from your beautiful Arthur very soon.

With hugs,
Diana

[goliath]

After we got her, to my surprise I began to see little echos of her in practically every animal I looked at-- horses, birds, even manatees and elephants! It was something in the movement of their eyes or the way they held their head or just their patient gentleness. I love the way you can see the spirit of the individual in the body of the community, I feel like it's reminding me of her and keeping her so close to me all the time.

Good morning Diana,

I too see the echos and beauty in other livng creatures. Today the world is even more magnificent to my eyes and ears as I take in each and every sight. Often times I watch the sun come up and listen to the birds that sing while the deer, raccoons, squirrels, and other small animals come one by one and gather in our backyard which butts up to the lake we live on. Soon I can see the fog and watch as the swans and ducks gracefully glide through to the shoreline. As the sun comes up higher and higher, the fog begins to lift and everything becomes more clear; both visually and spiritually.

Each day is a new beginning for every one of us to reflect on the memories we so cherish, but more importantly to take in the beauty of life and live for today. When tomorrow comes today will be but a memory. Though I may dream of tomorrow and cherish the past, it is today that I live and love for.



May Yogi's spirit bring you sunshine on this beautiful day and keep your heart warm with the wonderful memories she left you as her gift. Feel her loving spirit that is right by your side this day.

Much love and many hugs to you Diana,
Beth

[Zita'sMom]

I too see the echos and beauty in other livng creatures. Today the world is even more magnificent to my eyes and ears as I take in each and every sight. Often times I watch the sun come up and listen to the birds that sing while the deer, raccoons, squirrels, and other small animals come one by one and gather in our backyard which butts up to the lake we live on. Soon I can see the fog and watch as the swans and ducks gracefully glide through to the shoreline. As the sun comes up higher and higher, the fog begins to lift and everything becomes more clear; both visually and spiritually.

Each day is a new beginning for every one of us to reflect on the memories we so cherish, but more importantly to take in the beauty of life and live for today. When tomorrow comes today will be but a memory. Though I may dream of tomorrow and cherish the past, it is today that I live and love for.

Wow, Beth - what beautiful words.

It's interesting because I did a short talk about the sacredness of animals last weekend, prompted by my Ziggy's death, and I learned that quantum physics scientifically proves that all particles, even those with great distance between them, affect other particles in the world - we are all interconnected.

I often think of this life as a grand illusion - like maybe this is the "dream" and our state in "spirit" is the true state.

I am grateful your words, and also those of appreciating the magnificence of the world we live in, which is not only a world of loss and pain, but one of joy and love also.

Jan.

[ckrspanl]

Wow, Beth - what beautiful words.

It's interesting because I did a short talk about the sacredness of animals last weekend, prompted by my Ziggy's death, and I learned that quantum physics scientifically proves that all particles, even those with great distance between them, affect other particles in the world - we are all interconnected.

I often think of this life as a grand illusion - like maybe this is the "dream" and our state in "spirit" is the true state.

I am grateful your words, and also those of appreciating the magnificence of the world we live in, which is not only a world of loss and pain, but one of joy and love also.

Jan.

Zita's Mom,

I love what you said about interconnectedness. For that moment, reading that, my heart smiled. And that is something that has not happened since 10/11/08.