New Here, And About To Lose Our First Dog. :( Options

[dobermandad]

Hello everyone,

I came across your forum while researching the topic of coping with the death of a pet. It's a topic I've been trying to familiarize myself with for quite some time now, as our doberman, Deuce, has been afflicted with a number of maladies over the past couple of years: Addison's Disease, a heart condition... and most recently, a neurological disorder that has caused him to lose the reflexes in his hind legs. Sadly, at his age (approximately 9-10) and with his other problems, he's not a candidate for any additional surgeries or intense treatments; and after taking a turn for the worse this week, we've accepted that it's time to let him go. Deuce is being put to sleep tomorrow at 5:45.

Naturally, I'd always been wary of making this decision. I didn't want to make it too soon, while he may still have had some enjoyable time left; nor did I want to wait too long and reach the point where he was simply being kept alive without truly LIVING. Friends and vets alike had told me that "he'll let you know when it's time." I honestly feel like he's done just that. This week, he's been unable to stand on his own. He's clearly in pain, and he snapped at me last night when I tried to help him up--the first time he's ever snapped at anyone. I've had to carry him up and down the stairs, (not an easy chore with an 80 lb. dog, and he never liked being lifted even when he was healthy) and he just whines whenever he's left alone for more than a few moments at a time. He's not himself at all, and I see things only getting worse if we wait any longer.

We thought we were losing him 3 weeks ago, when he first showed signs of collapsing. I took him to his vet, who suspected that he was experiencing a heart problem and ordered overnight observation at an emergency facility. We feared that he wouldn't make it out of that facility. Instead, the next day, he showed considerable improvement! He was back home, eating, and even playing with toys. However, that was when we accepted that his long-term prognosis wasn't good at all, nor would it likely BE very long. Whatever was causing his loss of mobility was likely a spinal or brain condition, which would require a barrage of MRIs and risky surgery simply to diagnose--and we just can't subject him to that, let alone afford it. After conferring with Deuce's vet, we basically decided that we'd just try to make him as comfortable as possible in the coming days/weeks--and the next time he took a turn for the worse, we'd likely have to put him down. That's where we are now.

We're dreading what's about to be done in less than 24 hours, but anxious to get it over with at the same time.

We have 3 other dogs, besides Deuce. Ironically, he's not even the oldest. But I suppose being the biggest, and being a pure bred, he's just been prone to more problems. He's always faced them with the utmost stoicism, too. His vets were always amazed at how stoic he's been throughout it all. But needless to say, despite all the preparation I've tried to do for tomorrow, it's going to hit me like a ton of bricks when he's actually gone.

To this point, I've actually held up pretty well. I've accepted that it's the right decision at the right time. That became clear to me when I realized that hearing Deuce's crying and knowing that we could no longer do anything to help him was harder than the thought of losing him. I keep telling myself that this needs to be done; that this is the best thing I can do for my friend to ease his suffering. Those thoughts seem to help; but then I'll see something as simple as a favorite squeaky toy and realize that he'll never play with that again--and that's when I feel overcome with emotion.

I guess I just wanted to write in the hopes of hearing from those who've been through this experience before. Reading some of your stories throughout this forum has already helped a great deal.

It has also been a tremendously tough month on us. In addition to Deuce's problems, we learned that a close family friend committed suicide 2 weeks ago (a week after her 21st birthday), and on the very same day, another friend suffered a miscarriage. I almost feel like Deuce was somehow preparing us for both that grief as well as what we're about to go through tomorrow. After spending that night at the emergency vet, we were given this opportunity to spend more time with him and to prepare as much as possible for the inevitable. As difficult as it is, I have to think it's much easier this way--as opposed to losing a pet unexpectedly.

Any positive vibes you can send will be much appreciated... especially tomorrow around 5:45, as it certainly won't be much of a "happy hour."

[dobermandad]

Thank you ALL for your wonderful support throughout this ordeal--it has meant a lot and has helped more than you probably know.

We took Deuce in at 5:45 as scheduled, and his face actually seemed to light up when he saw his favorite vet techs--he knew exactly where he was and that the pain would be over soon. For some reason, that immediately lifted my spirits a bit; and I became much more comfortable as we entered the building and I remembered how the entire vet staff loves Deuce and has cared so much for him over the years. This allowed me to focus on the RELIEF aspect of this decision, rather than merely the sadness of losing my dear friend.

We sat on the floor with him; my wife cradled his head and I lay down so I could be face-to-face with him throughout it. At one point after the doctor administered the drugs, he let out the most relaxed, peaceful-sounding sigh you could imagine--it was literally like all the pain had just been washed away at that very instant, as I'm sure it literally had. It was the kind of sound you'd make after working an exhausting shift and finally collapsing into the most comfortable bed imaginable. He lay perfectly still the entire time--completely calm and quiet--until he simply stopped breathing. It really was just a matter of seconds. The vet was wonderful, too--she was so gentle with him (and us) and kept talking to us throughout the procedure, reminding us that Deuce wasn't in any pain and knew that he was surrounded by love right to the very end. It made such a difference.

It obviously hasn't sunk in yet that he's really gone, and I'm sure it will hit us like a ton of bricks in the coming days and weeks. But for right now, I'm grateful just for knowing that Deuce has left us peacefully and is no longer in that awful pain. He's in a much better place, and certainly will always remain in our hearts.

I've attached a small graphic I've been working on this evening... a little tribute to Deuce (and something to occupy my mind, as sleep doesn't seem to be an option just yet...)

Many thanks to you all!

Richard

[AngelCareOne]

Thank you ALL for your wonderful support throughout this ordeal--it has meant a lot and has helped more than you probably know.

We took Deuce in at 5:45 as scheduled, and his face actually seemed to light up when he saw his favorite vet techs--he knew exactly where he was and that the pain would be over soon. For some reason, that immediately lifted my spirits a bit; and I became much more comfortable as we entered the building and I remembered how the entire vet staff loves Deuce and has cared so much for him over the years. This allowed me to focus on the RELIEF aspect of this decision, rather than merely the sadness of losing my dear friend.

We sat on the floor with him; my wife cradled his head and I lay down so I could be face-to-face with him throughout it. At one point after the doctor administered the drugs, he let out the most relaxed, peaceful-sounding sigh you could imagine--it was literally like all the pain had just been washed away at that very instant, as I'm sure it literally had. It was the kind of sound you'd make after working an exhausting shift and finally collapsing into the most comfortable bed imaginable. He lay perfectly still the entire time--completely calm and quiet--until he simply stopped breathing. It really was just a matter of seconds. The vet was wonderful, too--she was so gentle with him (and us) and kept talking to us throughout the procedure, reminding us that Deuce wasn't in any pain and knew that he was surrounded by love right to the very end. It made such a difference.

It obviously hasn't sunk in yet that he's really gone, and I'm sure it will hit us like a ton of bricks in the coming days and weeks. But for right now, I'm grateful just for knowing that Deuce has left us peacefully and is no longer in that awful pain. He's in a much better place, and certainly will always remain in our hearts.

I've attached a small graphic I've been working on this evening... a little tribute to Deuce (and something to occupy my mind, as sleep doesn't seem to be an option just yet...)

Many thanks to you all!

Richard

Dearest Richard and your Lovely Wife, I'm very relieved to hear all went so well. What a Beautiful graphic you made in Tribute and Loving Memory to your fur boy Deuce, too. Truly awesome. I'm sure he sees it right now, feels so happy, proud and loves you and your wife so much! I prepared a little something too and wanted to wait to post it until after you came back and talked about how everything went. It's not much as I don't really do graphics at all but try with what I know how to do. Still, it's sort of a virtual "Candle Light Memorial" and I hope you, your wife and Deuce like it.

In Loving Memory and Tribute to Deuce

His Loving Candle Burns Brightly For All Eternity!!!

Richard, please do keep us posted when you're able. Like you said, it may hit you later like a ton of bricks and we're here for you. Or, you can even come here to talk with Deuce. I come here lots and lots to talk with my Alex and find it very comforting to bring him images, songs and videos he loved so much and ones that I'm sure he would love to hear. I'm sure he does hear them, too. You bet. So, please keep in touch when you're able and when you feel up to it.

Comforting Hugs, Love and Peace to You, Your Lovely Wife and Deuce!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox