My Baby Boy Gabriel Is Gone Options

[gabrielsmom]

This is so hard for me to type because of so many tears, but I'll try...my poor baby boy Gabriel drowned while my husband & I were out of town last week. We got the call while we were on the road. He died last Friday. My daughter was watching our dogs for us & she was in a hurry last Friday so she let Gabriel out to go potty & went to get dressed. She came back less than 10 minutes later & found him floating face down in the pool.

He was my rescue pug. He was hard of hearing & couldn't see well. I took care of him every day. I cleaned his eyes & his ears & I washed his face & brushed him. I could tell he really, really loved me. We had a very special bond, more special than anyone else. He had gotten to the point of wagging his tail & ##ing his head back & forth when I talked to him in a high-pitched voice. He even barked for me a couple times, which was very odd for him. My heart is so broken I don't know if it can ever heal. I've lost dogs before, but this one is especially hard for me & for my daughters. I am so guilty for not being home with him & for not thinking to at least tether him if he couldn't be watched 100% while he was outside. It makes me sick to my stomach to think how he must have struggled to stay afloat & when he took his last breathful of water. That's what I see when I close my eyes. It's just horrible. This was a totally preventable death & a death to a very special, loving little guy. He was my baby boy, my little Gabey.

My poor daughter is just devastated. She keeps saying that he died at her hands. She can't understand why she left a blind dog near a huge vat of water in the first place. I keep telling her that it was meant to happen, that God wanted Gabriel to come home. That his death was not in vain. We have 2 grandchildren, ages 2 & 3, who are getting old enough to try & open the sliding door that leads to the pool. We have been slack about keeping the door alarm turned on. Well, it's on nonstop now. Maybe Gabriel's death was a warning for us to heed...to be extra careful so the children are not harmed.

I loved that dog with all my heart & soul. I know that time will help with my heartache & my pain, but today I'm just so broken...I love you, Gabriel. I always will...