How Do You Survive The First Day?, coping...maybe Options

[Dianaa]

Hi....
I can hardly believe I'm writing these words-- our sweet little dog Yogi was struck and killed by a speeding driver yesterday afternoon.

She was an eleven year old Italian Greyhound, very vibrant and loving. My husband took her out front to chase the ball-- her favorite thing in the world. Usually she was pretty sensible and stayed on the lawn but for some unknowable reason, yesterday she stepped into the street --at the exact moment this car seemed to materialize from nowhere. If it hadn't been speeding it wouldn't have hit her-- she was practically standing still.

I was inside in my office at home and heard the whole thing happen-- my husband yelling, the impact, all of it. She was killed pretty instantly-- I'm grateful that she didn't suffer. I did scream once at the driver who was crouched by her body-- I couldn't help myself, I screamed with all my might, You killed my dog. At least he didn't hit and run. My husband told him he shouldn't be speeding and that he better scram. I felt like my whole body was shaking apart. I went and stood by her broken body until we could move her, to make sure no other cars hit her.

We don't have children, though I'm not even sure if that really matters, but we adored Yogi. We had her for almost eleven years, since she was six weeks old. Her little muzzle was turning white but she was still completely joyous, vibrant and puppylike. She had one fang that kind of tilted out, so we called her Snagglepuss. She had this way of shivering and giving people "kisses" by wrapping her forepaws around your head and pressing her chest against your face. She loved all sorts of people--even crazy people and scary people that you kind of wished she didn't love so much ;-) I guess all pet-lovers must think this, but what a magical quality she had --it was uniquely her own and I'm crushed, knowing there will never ever be another one like her. They're just like people, aren't they? Each one so unique.

Maybe it's human nature to feel like if we love something so much that somehow it magically protects them, that nothing will ever happen to them. It's such so hard to believe or take in. I don't know. I feel so stupid and lost and like something has torn my heart right out of my chest. It's 2:30 in the afternoon as I write this. I can barely eat. All I seem to do is leak tears and stare. I keep thinking I see her. I keep imagining I heard her little toenails tapping on the floor. She loved to watch us from her beds as we worked. What do you do? How do you not die from grief? I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound grand or melodramatic, I just really mean it. How do you get through the day after they die?

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[Zita'sMom]

Diana

I am so sorry to hear of your pain; it is a feeling I know too well.

I can see in the picture and in your description what a special soul Yogi was and is.

Also, I smile when you say she trusted people that she "shouldn't have" - it is that innocence and purity that I love in pets. My two cats who also died young and tragically, had that same trust and innocence. My cat Ziggy was shot and she would have walked right up to anyone so it's possible she was shot at close range. It is easy to be angry at the humans that are so disconnected from our fur friends that they don't value life. At least the motorist who hit Yogi stopped, though that doesn't make the pain easier. I have seen a couple of animals hit where it almost seemed purposeful and the drivers took off. I'm sure the driver was impacted by what happened and let's hope that they'll think twice about speeding in the future.

I do want to tell you something that might comfort you. When I was a teenager, our dog who was 12 at the time, got out from the fenced yard and was hit by a car and died. I was about 15 and inconsolable. A couple of days later he came to me in a dream and said (not in words exactly, but in thoughts if that makes any sense) that he was happy. He was sitting on a rocky beach similar to one where we frequently went when I was young that he adored. He also "said" that he would be there for me whenever I needed him. With that dream I felt a total feeling of peace. I was then able to move on, knowing that this was an important and sincere message for me and that he truly was safe, happy and connected to me through love. I am sure Yogi sends the same message to you.

I do not know why these things happen, but they do. I guess it shows how deep and strong the bonds are that we have with our pets - sometimes more so than with humans, at least for me.

take care and sending you healing thoughts in this difficult time.

Jan.