How Do You Survive The First Day?, coping...maybe Options

[Dianaa]

Hi....
I can hardly believe I'm writing these words-- our sweet little dog Yogi was struck and killed by a speeding driver yesterday afternoon.

She was an eleven year old Italian Greyhound, very vibrant and loving. My husband took her out front to chase the ball-- her favorite thing in the world. Usually she was pretty sensible and stayed on the lawn but for some unknowable reason, yesterday she stepped into the street --at the exact moment this car seemed to materialize from nowhere. If it hadn't been speeding it wouldn't have hit her-- she was practically standing still.

I was inside in my office at home and heard the whole thing happen-- my husband yelling, the impact, all of it. She was killed pretty instantly-- I'm grateful that she didn't suffer. I did scream once at the driver who was crouched by her body-- I couldn't help myself, I screamed with all my might, You killed my dog. At least he didn't hit and run. My husband told him he shouldn't be speeding and that he better scram. I felt like my whole body was shaking apart. I went and stood by her broken body until we could move her, to make sure no other cars hit her.

We don't have children, though I'm not even sure if that really matters, but we adored Yogi. We had her for almost eleven years, since she was six weeks old. Her little muzzle was turning white but she was still completely joyous, vibrant and puppylike. She had one fang that kind of tilted out, so we called her Snagglepuss. She had this way of shivering and giving people "kisses" by wrapping her forepaws around your head and pressing her chest against your face. She loved all sorts of people--even crazy people and scary people that you kind of wished she didn't love so much ;-) I guess all pet-lovers must think this, but what a magical quality she had --it was uniquely her own and I'm crushed, knowing there will never ever be another one like her. They're just like people, aren't they? Each one so unique.

Maybe it's human nature to feel like if we love something so much that somehow it magically protects them, that nothing will ever happen to them. It's such so hard to believe or take in. I don't know. I feel so stupid and lost and like something has torn my heart right out of my chest. It's 2:30 in the afternoon as I write this. I can barely eat. All I seem to do is leak tears and stare. I keep thinking I see her. I keep imagining I heard her little toenails tapping on the floor. She loved to watch us from her beds as we worked. What do you do? How do you not die from grief? I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound grand or melodramatic, I just really mean it. How do you get through the day after they die?

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[Steve K.]

Diana,

I am saddened to hear about your Yogi. I lost my Woody on 09/21/08 in the same manner. My wife was taking our dogs for their afternoon walk when Woody pulled the leash from her hand and ran into the street where he was hit by a car. Woody never ran into the street before either. I'm sure that the person that hit my Woody was exceeding the speed limit, too. People always speed on that road. My wife managed to get the animal control people to take Woody to the emergency vet clinic but there was nothing they could do for him and she had to make the very difficult decision to let Woody go. Please believe me when I say that I know exactly how you feel. When I left the house that Sunday morning I had two dogs but when I came home I only had one. Like your Yogi, my Woody was a very special dog and I miss him very much. It has been one month since I lost him and the pain of the loss is still heavy in my heart. I couldn't eat for the first five days. I would lay down to sleep at night the first week and I would wake up after a few hours and lay awake the rest of the night crying and thinking about my Woody Boy. The first two weeks I would have to walk out to my truck a few times each day while I was at work to sit and cry over my Woody. The best thing for me was to cry and I cried a lot for my boy. Woody was only four years old and we rescued him from a shelter when he was a year old. We only had him for three years. It will get easier for you little by little. I speak from experience. I still think about my Woody frequently each day but now the tears only come when I am sitting alone when it's quiet. I still love my boy and I know that you love your girl and that you will always love her. The only way I can deal with this is to tell myself that sooner or later I would have had to give Woody up anyhow because we usually outlive our furry friends. The bad part is that I didn't expect it to be so soon or to have someone hurt him like that. Post here frequently. Say exactly what's on your mind. It helped me and it will help you. There are some great people here and they rally care. Let them help you through this like they helped me. God bless.

Steve