New Here, mouning the loss of my shadow Options

[shadowgirl]

I just wanted to intrduce myself. My name is Julia and on October 11th, we had to put our Shadow down. She had breast cancer that spread very quickly. It was only a week from the time we found out, to the time we let her go. Her tumor was bleeding and was large and cut off the circulation to her back right leg causing adema. She was in so much pain and wouldn't eat or drink. She was a border collie-lab mix and was nine years old. She was so loving to our 4 and 3 year old kids. She was our girl. I miss her so much. I miss everything about her. I feel gulity. The could've, should've, would'ves are driving me nuts. We had her cremated and should be recieving her ashes this week. Friends think we're crazy for this and for grieving so much.
thanks for listening...

[moon_beam]

Hi, Shadowgirl, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Shadow. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the cir%%stances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. I smile at the description of your baby girl because my first doggie child, Samson, was also a Border Collie / Lab mix. Cancer in our furkids is, unfortunately, usually very devastating to their bodies. Euthanasia is similar to stopping life support for a family member or friend, and it is the last act of love we can give to them - - at great sacrifice to us - - to let them go home to the angels with their dignity still intact. It is now recognized in the mental health profession that the loss of a beloved companion is as devastating, if not more so, as losing a human family member or friend. Our furkids give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and we surrender ourselves to them completely. The grief stages are also identical including the horrible stage of guilt. Unfortunately, we do not have the privilege of foresight, only the benefit of hindsight, and it is the hindsight that is the source of our guilt. It is very important for you to remember that you did the very best by your Shadow at all times according to the information that you had the time. Shadow loves you and does not blame you for anything that happened to her. Her sweet living Spirit is still with you as it always has been reaching out to you through time and space. Shadowgirl, each of us here do understand the deep grief you are feeling, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. You are among friends here. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, shadowgirl, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam