Okay, I Need Some Advice...., Our Beloved Ernestine.... Options

[Guest_Muffins_*]

Hi Everyone:
Call me crazy/nuts, I don't know.
Last night I was actually looking in the computer at "no-kill" shelters, and looking at pictures of all kinds of "furbabies" that are looking for a home and to be loved.
Of course, before this, Ben & I were talking and (we were both "coherant"; ?spelling).
We, like everyone in here: Love all animals, have had much loved "fur-babies" all of our lives. We've loved, we've lost, but, Oh, how much fuller our hearts are for having loved our babies that have gone over the bridge to forever.

I was Ernestine's mom since she was six weeks old, in 1984; we had to put her and sick & hurting little body, to sleep on Saturday, February 7, 2004 at noon. My heart has tripled in size because of my girl... She loved me no matter what. And, I & Ben, always loved her & we always will. She takes up a huge part of our hearts.

I'm probably going to start rambling, and not sure if this will make sense TO ANYONE.......... Here goes....

I put in an e-mail application at this "no-kill" shelter, and I got an e-mail message, plus a phone call. They needed me to call my vet so they could "get a reference on us". That's fine, and very understandable.
I heard the call as I was waking up, and thought to myself, "Hmmm, what did I do????"
And then I started "name calling" myself in my head...... "You must be a non-caring, heartless, expletive(s), human being...." Of course, last night as Ben & I were talking, I felt happy & calm..
I said, "No disrespect at all to our beloved baby-girl ErnieBird, but, she made my heart so big..... I would really love to adopt a couple (so they can be playmates; I should've done that for my girl at when she was 6 weeks old), of babies, I feel good about it" And, again, "sincerely, there is "NO DISRESPECT" to my little girl Ernestine, at all"...

For, my little girl "lives in my heart", she is with me... She knows that we did all we could (medically) for her and she was so sick. I have every comfort in knowing that she is happy, healthy & running around playing... She's young again, and has no pain....

When I was looking through these shelters, dear God, there are sooooooooo many little ones looking for a home, looking to be loved.... It is very sad to see them all.
The "four" I looked at (two different shelters); Two sisters, "Margo & Rita", and the others were brother & sister (Pebbles & BamBam).

I am not a heartless human being, and neither is Ben.... Did "something" just "come over us" for our 2 hour talk last night, or, was it something else???

We "do not feel the need to have a couple of fur-babies", because really, don't our little ones OWN US????
But, we have a lot of love to give - our hearts are big.... Animal friends are the best; so trusting, non-judgemental, happy just to be petted & feel a little love in their hearts... They love their human family; after all, what's better than a full tummy, to be petted & brushed & to feel a kiss on the top of their head....etc., etc., etc....

We're not bad people at all, so I hope all of you won't think the things I said to myself in my head when that call came in......
We will always, always & forever love our girl Ernestine.... For, she really does live in our hearts and in our heads..
What do you think??? Have I gone crazy, or, is this "normal" for us??

Thank you so much for listening.....
Love, Denise & Ben

[Stymy's Mom]

Dear Denise,

Thanks for bringing this back because I am going through something I can't discribe well in words. My heart is sooooo empty I miss my little boy so much and I want a new campanion to love. My husband isn't ready yet and I don't know how much longer I can wait. I want my husband and I to make to discission together so I am trying to be supportive.

It will be two months this Saturday that Stymy has passed and the emptyness is overwhelming at times but there is a small part of me that feels I need time to greive too. So I can understand how you felt back than.

I would love to have two dogs also but the expense of a vet bills is a little much. Maybe when I make more money. However I know my last dog loved being the only one. He truly was KING and he knew it. Before I got him he lived in a kennel with other dogs and loved the attention my husband and I gave him when he came to live with us.

I hope I have the strength to make the right discission when the time comes.

Regards,
Vicki (Stymy's Mom)