Missing Elliott In A Big Way Today, I can't stop crying..... Options

[Mikki]

I see him everywhere. I keep praying please god, send him back I can't take this. I keep looking out the window where we buried him. We have another cat, 2 dogs and 2 birds and yet the house feels EMPTY. Why is that? Because he was everywhere and into everything. We yelled at him constantly and yet he was also tremendously affectionate. Crawled into bed with me every night. I can't stop crying. I have this permanent heavy feeling on my chest and I keep thinking it might have been okay to keep him alive for a bit longer, maybe we could have enjoyed him for a couple more weeks.....I am really missing his fine chiseled features and his enormous owlish eyes and his stiff prickly whiskers. I miss my Elliott and I keep crying and the dogs just stare at me. Our 'family' does not feel the same anymore. Grief is so horrible, it's just the most gut-wrenching thing and I can't imagine that our home will ever feel as normal and joyous as it used to......I dont' know what to 'do' to pull myself out of this more quickly, I am so, so SAD. This HOUSE does not feel RIGHT without him! I miss him coming up and snuggling under my left arm while I'm sitting on the couch (always the left arm for some reason....he never wanted to curl up under the right arm). I hate this......every single room is a reminder that he no longer exists. He doens't exist and that causes me so much pain. I miss my cats, all my darling, sweet and unique boys: Elliott, Jet and Arliss. Death is a hateful thing and I am really finding it difficult to see the sense in it all. There is an enormous gaping hole in my house. I so want to know that he is okay and knows how much we cherished him. I can't stop crying! WHERE is he? I just want to feel him near me, but I am not getting anything but this big hole. Just a big gaping, aching HOLE.......

[Nemo's Mommy]

Mikki- how are you doing today?

I was reading all these posts, and it is just so good to know that there are so many people out there that share the same love for cats/dogs as we do. My husband loves our pets, but I don't think he understands the extent to which I LOVE the pets. It's been 4 weeks today since my precious Ren kitty died, and it feels like a few days. I still remember the feeling of his body going from warm, to colder, to colder, to cold after he passed. Ren was a sphynx kitty so he was hairless. It's just every kind of emotion. I'll never forget that, his little body laying there becoming cold....... UGH that just makes me want to cry and cry.

I hate the thought of living the rest of my life without "seeing" him again. Why? Why does it have to be that way? I just don't know. I wish wish wish my poor kitty could have lived longer than 8 years. But, I have to be thankful for the 8 years he did have. I just still can't believe he is gone. Today is hard day.

Take Care,
Ren (4 weeks Rainbow Bridge), Zorro (2 1/2 months Rainbow Bridge), and Nemo(3 years Rainbow Bridge) Mom

[Zita'sMom]

Mikki- how are you doing today?

I still remember the feeling of his body going from warm, to colder, to colder, to cold after he passed. Ren was a sphynx kitty so he was hairless. It's just every kind of emotion. I'll never forget that, his little body laying there becoming cold....... UGH that just makes me want to cry and cry.

I hate the thought of living the rest of my life without "seeing" him again. Why? Why does it have to be that way? I just don't know. I wish wish wish my poor kitty could have lived longer than 8 years. But, I have to be thankful for the 8 years he did have. I just still can't believe he is gone. Today is hard day.

I have the same sad memories. I thought my Ziggy was trying to throw up when she let out a distressed sound and backed up in her cage. I put my hand in and told her she had to try to keep her food in. But she was still and had stopped breathing.

Now I know that her bowel was severed and there was no way she could keep her food in - and the vet didn't bother to do the exploratory surgery necessary to find out, or even give that as an option. It could have been fixed - she could be alive. Why, why, why? She was a healthy cat, full of life and love and then senselessly shot - why? Why her, why at that moment, when she so rarely went away from the house? And why did I get that particular vet, when countless other vets would have done the right thing? My own vet couldn't believe what the other vet had overlooked. Why didn't I "get a feeling" about Ziggy being out of the house? Why didn't I ask the vet more questions? Why, why, why? I don't know. All I know that is no matter how many times I thrash this through my head, I can't "fix" it. I can't get Ziggy back. That's all I want, Ziggy. But I can't have her. She was only 5 years old, and was such a happy, healthy cat. None of it makes any sense except that some broken person decided that day to make an innocent creature suffer and make my life hell.

I had just moved the cat house and scratching post into my new office so Ziggy could be my "office partner". Zeus won't even come in the room, because it's where he saw her so sick for 5 days.

I have been through lots of difficult stuff these past couple of years, but this really breaks me up inside, and I don't know how to come out of it...

Jan.