Missing Elliott In A Big Way Today, I can't stop crying..... Options

[Mikki]

I see him everywhere. I keep praying please god, send him back I can't take this. I keep looking out the window where we buried him. We have another cat, 2 dogs and 2 birds and yet the house feels EMPTY. Why is that? Because he was everywhere and into everything. We yelled at him constantly and yet he was also tremendously affectionate. Crawled into bed with me every night. I can't stop crying. I have this permanent heavy feeling on my chest and I keep thinking it might have been okay to keep him alive for a bit longer, maybe we could have enjoyed him for a couple more weeks.....I am really missing his fine chiseled features and his enormous owlish eyes and his stiff prickly whiskers. I miss my Elliott and I keep crying and the dogs just stare at me. Our 'family' does not feel the same anymore. Grief is so horrible, it's just the most gut-wrenching thing and I can't imagine that our home will ever feel as normal and joyous as it used to......I dont' know what to 'do' to pull myself out of this more quickly, I am so, so SAD. This HOUSE does not feel RIGHT without him! I miss him coming up and snuggling under my left arm while I'm sitting on the couch (always the left arm for some reason....he never wanted to curl up under the right arm). I hate this......every single room is a reminder that he no longer exists. He doens't exist and that causes me so much pain. I miss my cats, all my darling, sweet and unique boys: Elliott, Jet and Arliss. Death is a hateful thing and I am really finding it difficult to see the sense in it all. There is an enormous gaping hole in my house. I so want to know that he is okay and knows how much we cherished him. I can't stop crying! WHERE is he? I just want to feel him near me, but I am not getting anything but this big hole. Just a big gaping, aching HOLE.......

[moon_beam]

Hi, Mikki, this grief journey is one of the most devastating experiences we will have on this side of eternity. Our fur and feather companions give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and we surrender ourselves to them completely -- the better part of ourselves, and this is one of the many reasons why losing their sweet physical presence is so devastating. Of course your home feels empty, and of course your family isn't the same as it used to be. One of your primary family members has gone to join the angels. I believe that even the house structure mourns the loss because the "energy" of one of the household members is missing. You will never "get over" losing the physical presence of your beloved Elliott, Jet-boy, and Arliss. One of the reasons why you can't feel anything positive right now is because you are in deep grief, and what you are feeling is normal. Unfortunately there isn't any way to rush this grief journey, Mikki. It's a one day at a time journey that for quite awhile feels like it will never go away, and you are living in a dark abyss going through them motions that seem meaningless. But I assure you that Elliott and your other precious furbabies DO exist, Mikki. Their sweet precious living Spirit is with you even now in your deep grief, and one day I promise you will be able to feel Elliott reaching to you within your heart and memories beyond the Bridge. He knows you love him with all your heart, and his love for you is as strong as it always has been. One day you will be able to remember Elliott and find yourself smiling, and when this happens, Mikki, you will feel the warmth of Elliott's presence surround you. You can still talk to him and share with him everything that happens in your life because he is still with you. The only thing that has changed is that your relationship has temporarily transformed to a different dimension. I know this doesn't help much right now because the ache in your heart and your home and your life is so overwhelming. Go ahead and cry, Mikki, because these tears are healing tears to your heart and soul. Oh how well I know these tears - - gut wrenching sobs that betray a grief-stricken broken heart. But one day your tears will be turned to smiles, I promise. And each of us are here for you to help you through this agonizing transition in your life. You are not alone in your grief journey, Mikki. We are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Mikki, and please keep letting us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam