Feeling Lost Without My Inspiration Options

[westiemum]

Two weeks ago tomorrow my 15 1/2 year old Westie Scooby passed away in my arms. We both knew it was time, I had been back and forth to the vets for months and I watched him, with real dignity slowly suc%%b to the inevitable. On my last visit to the vet, two days before he died, I was told that he was just like the vets Gran, had bronchitis and needed antibiotics and steroids to give him a bit of respite, also got some water tablets, and to expect some little accidents if he couldn't make it outside in time!!! Didn't happen as he didn't mess even at the end. Anyway on the Friday night his breathing was pretty laboured, so I spent most of the night with him trying to make it easier for him, I told him not to hang on any longer for me as I knew how difficult it was for him. In the morning he went outside and did what he had to, came in and was very unsteady on his legs, I took him up on the sofa beside me, and he was falling onto his knees, so I lifted him and he just pulled himself onto my lap, I felt something course through him and we was gone, as quickly as that!!!!!! Even then I felt so privileged to have been given that honour. I was able to lay him on the sofa for my son and my Mum to see him at peace, and it really helped them, especially my son who is ill. I know that we were lucky to have had our time with him as he had a tumour removed two years ago and we got a bit more time, he also went through an operation a few months ago for an ulcer in his eye, he fought with all his might to stay. My Mum suffered a mini stroke a few months ago and at that time a white feather fell from the sky as I walked along the street, I believe my guardian angel sent that to reassure me, before Scooby died a black and grey feather fell out of the sky on me and I said to my mother then that I didn't want it!!!!!!!!!!! The day after Scooby died the sky was full of great big white fluffy clouds and I was cooking Sunday lunch and saw this huge colud in the shape of a Westie, I called everyone to see it and we all agreed it looked so like him. I alos had a 16 year old cat pass away in my arms, but not as peaceful as Scooby, and and 18 year old cat that that was euthanised. On the brighter side, my brother bought me a kitten 8 weeks ago, who in a way is a godsend. He lies in Scoobys place, he does a lot of things he did, he will never be him but he is a character in his own right and has been a huge help. For me, the hardest thing is coping day to day, Scooby was just such an amazing little man, it will take a long, long time to come to terms with.

[westiemum]

I am so grateful for the replies I have received, they have helped me so much, it is so nice to know that there are such lovely people who care and most of all understand what it's like at a time like this.

Thank you moon_beam for your kind words it is so nice to know that there are others who know exactly what it's like, it means a lot.

Judy, thank you for taking the time to reply to me, so nice of you, I too wish I had been able to take a photo of the cloud I saw but I just didn't think that clear at the time. I am so glad I found this place, I don't feel so alone now

Dottie, thank you for your thoughts and prayers, also for the butterflies, the video was beautiful and such a help, so nice to have met new friends at a time when I least expected it, amazing.

Thank you too Ann for taking the time to give me your support, can't quite believe how wonderful this site is and how lovely everyone is.

Thank you too sissycat, just to have others who have gone through the same experience is such a big help.

Well, it was two weeks yesterday since my best pal left me and it's a strange kind of anniversary, I found myself concentrating so much on the actual day it happened, going over every minute detail, comforting myself with the way that he went, in my arms and so peaceful. Then I drifted to the day I got him and how he just seemed to know that this is where he was meant to be. How he cried to go outside to relieve himself and how we all looked at each other in amazement. Then I thought about how much joy he gave us, he was such a giving little soul.
The little tricks I taught him and how he used them to the maximum, he had a habit of sitting up and begging and waving his paws around, faster and faster, to get a treat from me. I taught him to say "out" and it was a bit scary sometimes. He did it one day when the doctor was here, and the doctor looked at me and asked had he heard right? We all fell about laughing!!!!!! Then I used to tickle his tummy and he would scratch the sofa repeatedly for more, I even managed to smile at that. He would throw things up in the air and do any trick he could think of to get an extra treat, who says animals are dumb??????

I think the hardest part is that in all those 15 1/2 years we spent only one night apart, and that was recently when I had to rush him to the vet when he couldn't breathe. He always slept in my bed beside me, and would tap my back in the morning to tell me it was time to get up. The bit I can't understand is other people, the amount of times I am told to get another dog just freaks me!! Even my Mum tells me the house is so quiet since he has gone, I think it may take a while before I am the life and soul of the party, but I am taking the advice given and have started the "baby steps".

I am just so glad to have found this "haven" where people understand!!!!

I have to tell you of my new furkitten who is named "Ollie", he is at the moment running riot through the house and is a big help, he is full of nonsense, but very cute and is helping me on the road to sanity!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will attempt to upload a couple of photos of Scooby,
Thank you all for your help,
Margaret