Feeling Lost Without My Inspiration Options

[westiemum]

Two weeks ago tomorrow my 15 1/2 year old Westie Scooby passed away in my arms. We both knew it was time, I had been back and forth to the vets for months and I watched him, with real dignity slowly suc%%b to the inevitable. On my last visit to the vet, two days before he died, I was told that he was just like the vets Gran, had bronchitis and needed antibiotics and steroids to give him a bit of respite, also got some water tablets, and to expect some little accidents if he couldn't make it outside in time!!! Didn't happen as he didn't mess even at the end. Anyway on the Friday night his breathing was pretty laboured, so I spent most of the night with him trying to make it easier for him, I told him not to hang on any longer for me as I knew how difficult it was for him. In the morning he went outside and did what he had to, came in and was very unsteady on his legs, I took him up on the sofa beside me, and he was falling onto his knees, so I lifted him and he just pulled himself onto my lap, I felt something course through him and we was gone, as quickly as that!!!!!! Even then I felt so privileged to have been given that honour. I was able to lay him on the sofa for my son and my Mum to see him at peace, and it really helped them, especially my son who is ill. I know that we were lucky to have had our time with him as he had a tumour removed two years ago and we got a bit more time, he also went through an operation a few months ago for an ulcer in his eye, he fought with all his might to stay. My Mum suffered a mini stroke a few months ago and at that time a white feather fell from the sky as I walked along the street, I believe my guardian angel sent that to reassure me, before Scooby died a black and grey feather fell out of the sky on me and I said to my mother then that I didn't want it!!!!!!!!!!! The day after Scooby died the sky was full of great big white fluffy clouds and I was cooking Sunday lunch and saw this huge colud in the shape of a Westie, I called everyone to see it and we all agreed it looked so like him. I alos had a 16 year old cat pass away in my arms, but not as peaceful as Scooby, and and 18 year old cat that that was euthanised. On the brighter side, my brother bought me a kitten 8 weeks ago, who in a way is a godsend. He lies in Scoobys place, he does a lot of things he did, he will never be him but he is a character in his own right and has been a huge help. For me, the hardest thing is coping day to day, Scooby was just such an amazing little man, it will take a long, long time to come to terms with.

[LoveThem]

I am so very sorry to hear about Scooby. It was wonderful to read you had him over 15 years. I know it is never long enough but anytime I hear over 10 years...it seems like a privilege.

I wish you had been able to take a picture of that cloud you saw that looked like a Westie..that really sounds like something special.

I have had canine best friends in the past and one thing you said I remember always amazed me..that no matter what was happening these sweethearts would do their "business" outside as if everything was normal...it was so much a part of them.

It sounds as if he left peacefully and in your arms..that is something special to remember.

I'm glad you have the kitten to distract you. It is something like that ...that always helped me.
What did you name the new one?

You and Scooby certainly did everything over the years to be together longer. I have always believed that when it is the final time to go...we cannot prevent it. It is taken out of our hands.

I love a saying from a Mom here about her special one...it helps me cope. She said:
The pain of losing him will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing him.

You said: For me, the hardest thing is coping day to day, Scooby was just such an amazing little man, it will take a long, long time to come to terms with.

It is too soon since it happened to expect a lot of coping. It might help to post here your thoughts, your feelings about Scooby...maybe tell some stories of him that make you smile to remember..for it is the good healthy happy memories that help us cope and heal. Post some photos here if you feel like it. Many here have written a note to their special one..a way of "talking" to them again..just to let them know what more we would have liked to say to them.

Anything that helps you feel a little better is a good thing to do. Grief is physically exhausting and overwhelming. Having a best friend for over 15 years is a huge part of your life. Rest assured that Scooby will always be a part of your life because now he is a part of your heart and so can never be taken away from you. His sweetness, his very being, will live in your memories and so, he, too, will live again.

Know that we all share the same pain of losing that someone so very special in our lives. That's
why we understand exactly how you are feeling...we are all there also. Everything you think or feel is normal. When you are here, you can never feel alone because we are all truly one.

I wish you peace and healing. It takes time for the pain to become bearable but focusing on the happy memories when you feel the time is right...will help. It is baby steps we must take.
And, sometimes, we fall back into grief and we are allowed to do that. There is no time limits. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Keep posting. We are always listening.

Judy