Tears In Heaven, Thought I was doin better Options

[geese]

Hi everyone,

I really thought I was doin' better, but tonight I broke down. It been since July 19th that my bunny is gone, and I just lost it all over again... I just heard "Tears in Heaven" by Clapton, and that was it........ I'm a wreck again, after I thought I was getting over it....

Hope you are all OK, I'm sending my love to everyone. It hurts, but I know you guys understand.

Geese

[LoveThem]

In your 9/5 post you said:
I don't know how to keep these topics fresh, but it seems like once you write something, you get a few responses, and then no more.

I am not going to post anymore. Thank you all for your help through this rough time. I truly appreciate all the love and support I've gotten from people who don't even know me.

Much love and best wishes to all........................


Please read LS's note about Posting Etiquette. The reason you think you got a FEW responses is you have started EIGHT topics here. If you continue replying to your first one...others reply back, then you reply, etc. Each reply (you or someone else) keeps your topic fresh. (For your 8 topics I did count a total of 91 responses). It is easy to lose count when you are looking at the newest one only. I know I wrote you 2x in one topic and saw no response.

When you keep starting new ones....no one knows which one to reply to...and if you are only watching your last one...then others who have replied to your other seven wonder where your response is to them. So they may stop posting. If everyone here started multiple topics there would be no room for anyone else to be read. But if each one continues with their first one, then the starter (you) would keep getting replies.

I realize other new people are doing the same thing but I am sure that is only because they did not read at the top of the page a note from LS about keeping to one post so everyone knows where to reply.

So...people reply to another of your topics...you don't reply cause you are starting a new one...they get no comment on their reply and stop posting to you because they don't know if you will start another new one and again their reply just sits.

I am sure if you stay with one, especially the first one you start because that is always the one that really tells the story of what happened to your baby. People need to know the cir%%stances so they can reply. And, new people coming in need to also know your story.
That's why the first topic started is the best to continue. If you have new comments, just add to that topic anytime and that will freshen it.

I went into detail about the explanation about what SEEMS to happen because maybe others reading it and feeling like you do...i.e., where are my replies?....will understand what IS happening. If everyone kept to their original one with the important story of what happened to
them and their special one...there are many here who will reply.

NO ONE should ever feel no one is replying to them because that is not what truly happens.
The ones who do reply also look for responses to what they said. Everyone is grieving here.

It just helps so much when everyone is looking in the same place. When I see multiples I try to find the first one with the story and reply there but if I get no reply..I assume mine was not read and will not post there again, although with you I see I tried 2x before giving up.

Hope this made sense to you and anyone else reading it. IT HURTS when someone says they feel no one is listening to them...and the only times I have ever read that comment...is when the person starts a new topic, sometimes with every new thought...and I know they do not realize people ARE listening...it's just sometimes they don't know where to go. I know I would rather post to one topic and do that for 5 people instead of 5 topics to the same person and none to 4 others who need help.

So when you have a starting topic that get replies that are not replied to...people stop posting there cause THEY feel no one is listening.

Then the starter sees no new replies so starts a new topic to get replies. The people who did not get replies before may bypass the new topic because they feel they were not listened to before.
The starter wonders where the new replies are and may again start another new topic, etc etc.

The fact that each new topic does not tell the original story and there are so many stories that one cannot remember each one...makes it difficult sometime to give the answer that may help that person with their particular situation.

I thought LS (the tech support for this forum) explained it quite well at the top of this page. If everyone followed his request...then no one would ever feel their words were being ignored..not the Starter of a topic..and not the ones who take the time to reply. It's a win-win situation.

Sorry to be so lengthy but when you said you didn't want to post anymore cause people weren't posting back to you....needed an explanation about what is happening here..not only to you but to others with multiple topics and to the people who are trying to reply but maybe stopped posting (feeling like you said) because instead of their replies being answered...they see a new topic again.

I know it hurts when one feels they are not getting replies but maybe this explanation leads to an understanding that people who are also grieving stop a moment trying to help with a reply and it hurts them also to feel no one is reading what they wrote.

I see you are still posting and that is a good thing and you see that again..you are getting replies. If you reply here always and anytime you want to refresh your topic..just wrote a note to your special baby and that date will refresh the topic..and I am sure you will see even more replies. You might want to tell a short story here about your baby to get everyone here up to date.

Everyone really and truly cares here. As long as you keep posting in one place..people will find you and respond. Grieving is never easy for any of us. It becomes bearable but it never goes
away completely. We all are going through the same pain but in time we are able to remember the good healthy memories instead of the sadness.

You did not fail your little man. You did the best you knew how to do. I truly believe that when it is their time to go, we cannot prevent it...we will not be allowed to do that. If we are meant to help them, the knowledge of how will be shown to us or to our vet. There can be no guilt feelings of being able to do more than we did. Our babies know we did our best..we could do no less for them. We want to keep them forever and they want to stay with us forever but again, life just doesn't allow that to happen. So every day and every year we have with them, we just have to feel blessed...and feel truly blessed that they came into our lives at all. Our memories of our times with them are priceless and no one can take that away from us.

So don't ever feel you are not being responded to here. Every day I see more and more sad stories..sometimes it is hard to keep track of everyone but we all do the best we can. We come here looking for help and finding it..and also finding that reading others topics and trying to help them feel better...is another way of helping us heal. By reading others topics that's when we really know we are not alone at all.

I do wish you peace and healing..it all takes time..and post here as often as you feel like it..there is always someone listening.