My Beautiful Aretha Is Gone..., Feline leukemia took my baby away Options

[Aretha's mom]

On Thursday afternoon, my beautiful, beautiful baby, Aretha, passed...
She was only 20 months old, a unique cat in every way. Beautiful, intelligent, loving and devoted.
We rescued her from the street, when she was only 6 weeks old. She lived indoors, so the leukemia virus was probably passed on to her by her mother, when she was born. She was completely healthy at first, started showing the first symptoms when she became one year old. We had her tested and she was found positive for the FeLV.
During the past 8 months we tried EVERYTHING: dimethylglycine, steroids, regular interferon administered orally, feline interferon by injection. Nothing seemed to work. My poor baby kept losing weight and becoming weaker and weaker, her hematocrit kept getting lower. On Thursday morning, I woke up and found her breathing very heavily. I rushed her to the vet who did a CBC and found that her hematocrit was terribly low -barely 10. He told me that euthanasia was the only humane option.
Deep down I knew it too, I had known it for some time now. But no matter how prepared you think you are, when that time comes you feel so helpless and frustrated. I stayed with her for about 2 hours, crying my heart out, until I could finally muster the strength to tell him to proceed with the injection.

She was my baby, I miss her so much it feels like my insides have been torn apart. I still can't sleep for longer than a couple of hours without waking up in tears. My boyfriend and my other cat, Leon, (who fortunately tested negative for this horrible disease) are doing their best to comfort me and I'm grateful for that. But I just can't get her out of my mind. It hurts so much, even physically.

My beautiful girl, I love you so much...

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[sissycat]

First let me say I am so sorry about your precious Aretha!!!
Sometimes the gift we give them of making that decision for them to have no more pain and sickness causes us so much grief. But we know in our heart is was the best thing for them.
My loss is almost 3 months ago, so I may not be the best to give you any advice.
I am sorry you only had a short time with her. I bet the time you had was wonderful and you two created many memories. You have a big heart to take her in off the street. Some furbabires never get that chance.
I can tell you the pain gets less intense over time. Don't get me wrong it is still there. I can function now and smile when I look at her pictures instead of bawling. I am thankful for the 2 years and 5 days I had with her. Would have loved more, but guess she had a special calling. I still have her sisters, but she was my special one.
We get by one day at a time. The seconds turn to minutes, then hours, then days, then weeks and then years.
They will be in our heart forever.
Please continue to post. Would like to hear stories of Aretha and pictures if you have more.

We are here for you.

Hugs to you!!!!!!!!!