He's Gone Options

[eellyyoobb]

My Yorkshire Terrier Barney passed away today.

He was nine years old, I have had him since I was 7 (I'm very nearly 18). He was the best friend I have ever had, there every single day, waiting for me and always making me happy. In times of great pain he was there for me, never asking for anything in return.

A few months ago he had a minor stroke, it didn't have a noticeable impact on him though. He was still the same old Barney. Then on Sunday 3rd October when we got up, something was wrong. His eyes didn't shine anymore. He couldnt balance properly, he kept walking into objects and looking confused. He would just aimlessly walk around and kept falling over. It was absolutely devastating to see him like that. Today when I woke up, my parents had taken him to the vet. She said he had experienced a major stroke on the saturday night and that the kindest thing to do would be to put him to sleep. And thats what they did

This was the first pet I ever had. It hurts because I couldn't tell him what was happenning to him, he must have been so scared and confused. I am still in shock, and I hope someday I will see him again.

Here is a picture I took on friday 1st October -



I know its kind of hard to see, but he is just sitting on my bed looking like he always did. He was guarding the bags of food Now here is a picture I took yesterday, 12 or so hours before he died-



He was just laying there with a vacant stare. It wasn't Barney. I feel so bad whenever I see that picture, it breaks my heart.

Just wanted to share my story. Thanks for reading.

This post has been edited by LS Support: Oct 5 2004, 09:12 AM

[Daryl]

Thanks. I know it must be easy for you all to assume my parents did it for my own good and stuff, but only I know my parents and it wasn't like that. They just didn't feel any need to inform me. I'm going to the vets in two hours to pay to have Barney cremated and brought back to me. For some reason my parents dont care about what happens to him now, my mum said it would 'upset' her to spread his ashes back into his garden, yet the thought of him being treated liek just another dead dog and thrown away is much more easy for her to stand?! I couldn't bare to think of him being burned and just chucked away with no respect or dignity. He deserves much better than that. It costs about £125 ($222) which frankly I cannot afford but I am spending every penny I have. I might ask if I can just take him home and bury him in the garden. Or ask to just see him and say goodbye, either way I wont let them just throw him away and if it means I go poor for a few months, so be it.

Hi,

I'm so sorry about Barney. It doesn't help at all not feeling like you're getting the kind of support you want from your family.

Others here will probably cringe to see me telling this again, but I went through something similar with my parents. While I was away at college (I was still within pretty easy driving distance of home), they had my cat/friend Snooper put down. Nobody told me about it -- I didn't find out until I went home to visit one weekend and couldn't find her. I actually had to ask where she was before anybody would say anything. When Mom told me, I felt shock and betrayal on top of the grief. Then Mom said, "Good grief, what are you crying for? She was JUST an old cat!!!"

When I originally wrote about this here, my grief over losing our dog Kirby was still very fresh, and that old anger and hurt came right back to the surface.

Now that I'm feeling calmer, I'm sure my parents were doing what they thought best -- trying to shield me from hurt. On the other hand, it wasn't the first time they'd lied to me about what had happened to a pet, so maybe they were also trying to protect themselves from having to deal with my feelings? I don't know. It's been 26 years since that event, though, and I still feel its sting from time to time.

I can't say my parents have improved, either. Just last year I was visiting them at my sister's place -- my first day there, in fact -- when my wife called, crying, to say that Lilly, a new cat I'd adopted and tamed over 3 intense months, had gotten out of the house and killed by the neighbor's dogs. My parents offered no condolences, no sympathy. They just put up those stony walls and stern faces and pretended nothing had happened. I finally retreated to the upstairs bedroom and thought about climbing out the window and driving off so I wouldn't ever have to talk to them again. They never came up to check on me, either. It wasn't until I was getting in the car to leave 2 days later that they FINALLY said, "I'm sorry about your cat."

Having family issues like this is not what any of us needs when we're grieving the loss of a dear friend.


-- Daryl