My Chihuahua Marilyn, I miss her so much Options

[meens]

Hello there

I hope no one minds me posting, I am from the UK so I don't know what time this will reach people in the States. I have read all the posts on here since last Monday, when I had to put my baby girl to sleep. I have cried along with you and have only just got the courage to post something myself. Putting her to sleep was the hardest thing I have had to do in my life, and I have been through some tough times. I can't stop crying and I feel so alone. Marilyn was one of two sister chis that I have had since they were weeks old. She was 15, would have been 16 on 1 October. She was beautiful, the sweetest and most caring little dog. She was with me through relationship break ups, several house moves because of them and horrible neighbours. In 2005 I lost two babies, in January and July. Marilyn would lie on my tummy when I was pregnant, kissed my tears away when I was sad and was always, always there. Never judging, never saying cruel stuff like so many men have done and not minding when I cried and cried over losing my babies. When I was pregnant she wouldn't let me take a bath alone, she would scratch at the door til I let her in so she could check I was OK. I had to have baths with the door open from then on...

I have spent most of the last 15 years alone, a succession of rubbish relationships meant it was just me and my two girlies. I am sorry for going on and on, I don't even know if this makes sense but i am sobbing so much I can't see properly. Life feels empty, I still have her sister Chi Chi and a rescue dog called Betty but the balance in the house is wrong. Two bowls instead of three, one less dog bed, I am sure you know what I mean. My partner has been really good but I feel I am being such a burden to him. He doesn't really understand and only knew her for just over a year, though he did love her. I am in such a mess, I feel dead inside and my heart is broken. Thank you for reading this, just typing it helps. Any advice as to what to do to stop the pain, or when it gets better would be so appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this everyone and I am sorry for your losses too. Hal, I read all your posts and was in bits, you wrote so beautifully and I could totally relate to what you went through. Thank you once again - meens xx

[Deanna]

Meens,
You've come to the right place for support during this difficult time. So sorry to hear about your loss of baby girl, Marilyn. I, too, recently, lost a real sweetheart in my life on June 12th. I know the feelings you are dealing with right now. It's going to take time. One day at a time. Whatever you feel and however long you feel it, it's ok. It been almost two months since I lost my little "Zoe". Although I only had her for two years, it was the best two years of my life. I am so empty inside and completely lost without her. Let the tears flow when you feel it. It is a part of the healing process. Tears still come easily when I think of my Zoe. These precious fur babies are so wonderful in our lives, we really don't know what to do or how to function without them, not being able to sleep, eat, and focus on our responsibilites is tough when our loss is so new. It's been two months and I think of her all day, everyday. She was my first puppy love. She left me with some wonderful gifts in life, that I never knew before I met her.
Please feel free to tell more stories and post pictures of Marilyn (when you feel you are ready).
Take care and hang in there ~ you're not alone.
Cyber hug
Deanna

[meens]

Meens,
You've come to the right place for support during this difficult time. So sorry to hear about your loss of baby girl, Marilyn. I, too, recently, lost a real sweetheart in my life on June 12th. I know the feelings you are dealing with right now. It's going to take time. One day at a time. Whatever you feel and however long you feel it, it's ok. It been almost two months since I lost my little "Zoe". Although I only had her for two years, it was the best two years of my life. I am so empty inside and completely lost without her. Let the tears flow when you feel it. It is a part of the healing process. Tears still come easily when I think of my Zoe. These precious fur babies are so wonderful in our lives, we really don't know what to do or how to function without them, not being able to sleep, eat, and focus on our responsibilites is tough when our loss is so new. It's been two months and I think of her all day, everyday. She was my first puppy love. She left me with some wonderful gifts in life, that I never knew before I met her.
Please feel free to tell more stories and post pictures of Marilyn (when you feel you are ready).
Take care and hang in there ~ you're not alone.
Cyber hug
Deanna

Dear Deanna

I read your posts the day I had my Marilyn put to sleep and I cried and cried for you. Thank you for taking the time out from your grieving to post a reply to me. Westies are such sweet dogs, there are several around here and I think of you when I see them. I help out a local dog rescue/shelter in my spare time and three westies came in this week, found dumped on a rubbish/garbage tip. Mum dad and daughter, they are so loving and sweet despite all they have been through. People can be so cruel but we can take some comfort that we loved our animals during their all too short lives and did our best by them. Zoe was beautiful and had the bestest mum in you x

[Deanna]

Dear Deanna

I read your posts the day I had my Marilyn put to sleep and I cried and cried for you. Thank you for taking the time out from your grieving to post a reply to me. Westies are such sweet dogs, there are several around here and I think of you when I see them. I help out a local dog rescue/shelter in my spare time and three westies came in this week, found dumped on a rubbish/garbage tip. Mum dad and daughter, they are so loving and sweet despite all they have been through. People can be so cruel but we can take some comfort that we loved our animals during their all too short lives and did our best by them. Zoe was beautiful and had the bestest mum in you x

You're more than welcome. I'm sure it's the same for you, but it sure helps me to get feedback when I comment about my precious Zoe. It's comforting to me to know that I'm not alone dealing with my devastation of losing Zoe on this site. I think we all need each other to get through our grieving process, or should I say, help in "copeing" with our loss, as I am trying to do. It's been two months today, and I still miss Zoe terribly.

Yes, westies are sweet dogs (at least mine was -ha) I really can't imagine a human disposing these precious souls on a garbage tip. That's wonderful that you're helping out at a local dog rescue shelter, that shows you've got a big heart. I think if I was to do that, I'd have to bring everyone of them home with me.

Thanks for your kind words on stating Zoe was beautiful and that she had the best mum. I tried really hard and was told I did a great job spoiling her. (ha)

Hang in there ~ we're in this together.
Big hug to you and Marilyn!
Deanna

[meens]

You're more than welcome. I'm sure it's the same for you, but it sure helps me to get feedback when I comment about my precious Zoe. It's comforting to me to know that I'm not alone dealing with my devastation of losing Zoe on this site. I think we all need each other to get through our grieving process, or should I say, help in "copeing" with our loss, as I am trying to do. It's been two months today, and I still miss Zoe terribly.

Yes, westies are sweet dogs (at least mine was -ha) I really can't imagine a human disposing these precious souls on a garbage tip. That's wonderful that you're helping out at a local dog rescue shelter, that shows you've got a big heart. I think if I was to do that, I'd have to bring everyone of them home with me.

Thanks for your kind words on stating Zoe was beautiful and that she had the best mum. I tried really hard and was told I did a great job spoiling her. (ha)

Hang in there ~ we're in this together.
Big hug to you and Marilyn!
Deanna

Hi Deanna

I just read your little letters to Zoe and they made me cry - I agree with Beth the 'firsts' are hard, but the seconds aren't much better. I feel sick inside I miss my little Marilyn so much. I find myself asking the empty kitchen, why? why did you have to go? why couldn't I have one more of your birthdays, and my birthday, and one more Christmas with you?

The dog rescue is hard sometimes, seeing how horrible and uncaring people are to these lovely dogs. I always want to bring the old and broken and wonky ones home!

I dunno about a big heart, my partner would probably say that I'm the biggest misery guts but I can't change that at the moment.

I really hope you are going OK Deanna, you and cutey pie Zoe are in my thoughts and prayers.

hugs

meens xx