My Chihuahua Marilyn, I miss her so much Options

[meens]

Hello there

I hope no one minds me posting, I am from the UK so I don't know what time this will reach people in the States. I have read all the posts on here since last Monday, when I had to put my baby girl to sleep. I have cried along with you and have only just got the courage to post something myself. Putting her to sleep was the hardest thing I have had to do in my life, and I have been through some tough times. I can't stop crying and I feel so alone. Marilyn was one of two sister chis that I have had since they were weeks old. She was 15, would have been 16 on 1 October. She was beautiful, the sweetest and most caring little dog. She was with me through relationship break ups, several house moves because of them and horrible neighbours. In 2005 I lost two babies, in January and July. Marilyn would lie on my tummy when I was pregnant, kissed my tears away when I was sad and was always, always there. Never judging, never saying cruel stuff like so many men have done and not minding when I cried and cried over losing my babies. When I was pregnant she wouldn't let me take a bath alone, she would scratch at the door til I let her in so she could check I was OK. I had to have baths with the door open from then on...

I have spent most of the last 15 years alone, a succession of rubbish relationships meant it was just me and my two girlies. I am sorry for going on and on, I don't even know if this makes sense but i am sobbing so much I can't see properly. Life feels empty, I still have her sister Chi Chi and a rescue dog called Betty but the balance in the house is wrong. Two bowls instead of three, one less dog bed, I am sure you know what I mean. My partner has been really good but I feel I am being such a burden to him. He doesn't really understand and only knew her for just over a year, though he did love her. I am in such a mess, I feel dead inside and my heart is broken. Thank you for reading this, just typing it helps. Any advice as to what to do to stop the pain, or when it gets better would be so appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this everyone and I am sorry for your losses too. Hal, I read all your posts and was in bits, you wrote so beautifully and I could totally relate to what you went through. Thank you once again - meens xx

[moon_beam]

Meens, you just keep coming back and posting. When you go back to work tomorrow you may find that you need us even more, and that's okay - - we'll be here for you. Of course it feels like a part of you has died. Marilyn was an intimate part of your life in your journey together, and now you have this emptiness because she is no longer physically with you. It's a horrible adjustment, Meens, which each of us here so well knows first hand and understands. Although we love our other furkids who are still with us, there are some fur folks that we bond more tightly with - - it's like any other relationship we would have - - some human folks are closer to us than others. Please know you are NOT a burden to us, meens. I hope that you will be able to get some rest tonight, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,

moon_beam

[meens]

Meens, you just keep coming back and posting. When you go back to work tomorrow you may find that you need us even more, and that's okay - - we'll be here for you. Of course it feels like a part of you has died. Marilyn was an intimate part of your life in your journey together, and now you have this emptiness because she is no longer physically with you. It's a horrible adjustment, Meens, which each of us here so well knows first hand and understands. Although we love our other furkids who are still with us, there are some fur folks that we bond more tightly with - - it's like any other relationship we would have - - some human folks are closer to us than others. Please know you are NOT a burden to us, meens. I hope that you will be able to get some rest tonight, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,

moon_beam

Dear moon beam

Thank you, once again for taking the trouble to reply to me. Honestly it is you guys here who have got me through the dark days and nights of the last week. Even though it will be hard in work I think it will do me good in that I have a routine and purpose. But really I just want to stay at home and lie on the sofa with Betty and Chi. This week seems harder than last, I don't know why.

Thank you all for understanding and for being there

meens xx

[goliath]

This week seems harder than last, I don't know why.

I can tell you why......or at least why for me it was harder. The first week I was so out of control that I couldn't distinguish one feeling from another. Mostly in denial about Goliath not being there. Soon after, more of the deep agonizing pain began to sink in. One way or another ALL the crippling pain and tears had to find their way up to the very top surface of my every being. Allowing that took me some time. It was necessary for me to let my mourning take it's course so that I could become able to begin a new kind of life happy and healthy once again.

It took me over two months before I found LS. By that time, I had fallen into such a deep dark hole of sadness that I never thought I'd be able to find my way back out again. My life had ended the way I knew it so well ...... so content and sooooooo very happy in every way.

In time I found my way back to a wonderful life full of hope, peace, and faith. The journey is long and the challenges are many. But as you find yourself in front of an obstacle that just won't get out of your way, close your eyes and take yourself to a time..............one of your absolute favorite happy memories..... and give thanks for all you have had and all that is yet to be. There is a magnificent plan for all of us.

Your sweet Marilyn is your forever companion. Nothing can darken the sunshine she brought into your life for she is still there with you now as she always was.

Much love to you Meens. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hugs to those other two special babies, Chi & Betty, from me.

Hugs of comfort my friend,
Beth