Rohan Is Ill, bladder crystals Options

[Mink&WillowsMom]

Please keep a prayer for Rohan -- he's in the hospital.
Stable, should be okay, but he had crystals in his bladder that blocked his urethra, and he almost got to life-threatening stage before I realized. His bladder was about the size of a large apple, and at risk of rupture. This afternoon I saw him try to pee on my bed. I'd seen him pee on another rug a couple days ago, and knew that it was very odd, but the only logic I could put to it was a protest over litter boxes that need changing.

After I scooped him off the bed, he meowed in a very distressed way -- pain from being lifted on his abdomen, no doubt. Then he lay by the door and whimpered, so immediately I found a vet with extended hours and got him in. By the time we arrived, he was blocked and yet so full he was incontinent, just dribbling everywhere. If I'd waited until tomorrow morning he could have died.

I arrived thinking was constipated, fearful maybe a hairball obstruction. Ten minutes later she wants to get him out of the room and into the back to catheterize him NOW, while also quickly trying to get me up to speed on what's happening and how urgent it was. She quickly tried to outline the scope of what I was dealing with, and explain enough so that I can make informed decisions. Meanwhile, I know Roh is soooo afraid here, and first she says "heart murmur," and then I hear bladder blocked anesthesia crystals xrays cardio-myopathy stones surgery die hospital $1500 euthanasia. Flashing like red neon signs in my brain. I'm trying to track the details, but ohmigod she's saying Rohan is really sick, in dire distress and lots of pain, and what am I supposed to be looking at on this financial e$timate? Did I wait too long? What clues did I miss? How did I not know he was in pain? And why the hell did she bring up euthanasia? Is he really that sick he might die? Or is she just giving me a financial out? Finally I realized that's what she was doing, and I just looked her in the eye and said, "euthanasia's off the table."

Honestly, I don't know how parents leave their human children in the hospital. I feel like such a bad mama, leaving him all alone in a cage, catheterized and two IVs, terrified by the drugs and the procedures, and the cone he has to wear so he won't pull out the cath. They let me sit with him for a while, but then there was nothing to do but come home. Fortunately the vet tech who's on tonight will take phone calls so I can check on him through the night.

He's also got a heart murmur and possible cardiomyopathy, but we'll deal with that later.
He's only two years old.
I am really overwhelmed right now.
Just today I told someone I've been trying to shake a sense of doom. *pow* strikes again. Just a little left jab, but still enough to ding me.

So I just need to remind myself, he's doing okay right now. They were able to catheterize him with just sedation, not general anesthesia, to my great relief. His blood panel looks good, and he's not too dehydrated. They gave him pain meds, and flushed out the bladder. She said usually the urine has more of a sandy look to it, and his doesn't, which means he doesn't have nearly as many crystals, which bodes well. We talked a little about what I've been feeding them, and may have found a culprit. Typically, the treatment is a lifetime of very expensive food my other cats in the past have hated. Hopefully it has improved, or I have other options. I'm holding out a thread of hope that this was a one-time thing due to two months of cheap tuna fish cat food.

Kim
PS: I just called the vet tech, who said that he's settled a fair bit, especially after they blocked his view of the room with a towel, and that he was eating some. Luna and Willow are asking me questions.

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[Mink&WillowsMom]

Each new clump in the litterbox is like treasure. This morning he's been peeing frequently, and the resulting clump is between the size of a prune to half an apricot. So he's still passing urine. If his bladder is sensitive (after all it's been through) he'd be dumping more frequently, so it wouldn't have a chance to collect to the usual half-an-avocado size clump. When I see the small clumps, they scare me, until I remember that cats usually only pee 2 or 3 times a day. So if he's spreading his output to 10+ urinations a day, then of course they would be smaller. I praise him highly for each one.

No dribbling. Lots of penis licking this morning, some regular grooming. Drinking water well, and ate well enough yesterday. He's still on 4 medicines: antibiotic, muscle relaxant, pain killer, and appetite stimulant. Last night Luna slept next to him on the bed, which I'm sure must have been a huge relief to him. She's done hissing, but Willow is still hissy-mewly.

I have fear he's going to get another mucus plug again. And yet I know that by Law of Attraction, I should be focusing solely on clear, freely flowing urethra, easily draining his bladder; a smooth open pipe, pink and healthy. Even if I ignore the fear, I still have to acknowledge it first in order to ignore it. Any suggestions for moving myself into a place of total peace? It feels like so much of his recovery depends on me -- what I do, what I don't do, what I notice in time, what I envision. Some of that, of course, is my illusion that I have control over the outcome. But some of it is very real: noticing the moment he's blocked and getting him back to the doc. The vigilance is exhausting.

I need to remind myself that he's doing much better after the second catheterization than after the first. The urines, while small and frequent, are reliable. He's licking himself less (until this morning, that is). He's eating. He's drinking water. He has pain meds and anti-spasm meds to calm his urethra down. He's not dribbling. So there's lots of things pointing directly toward health and resolution of this crisis. -Is my remaining fear intuition or just echoes?- ~Kim

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