My Chihuahua Marilyn, I miss her so much Options

[meens]

Hello there

I hope no one minds me posting, I am from the UK so I don't know what time this will reach people in the States. I have read all the posts on here since last Monday, when I had to put my baby girl to sleep. I have cried along with you and have only just got the courage to post something myself. Putting her to sleep was the hardest thing I have had to do in my life, and I have been through some tough times. I can't stop crying and I feel so alone. Marilyn was one of two sister chis that I have had since they were weeks old. She was 15, would have been 16 on 1 October. She was beautiful, the sweetest and most caring little dog. She was with me through relationship break ups, several house moves because of them and horrible neighbours. In 2005 I lost two babies, in January and July. Marilyn would lie on my tummy when I was pregnant, kissed my tears away when I was sad and was always, always there. Never judging, never saying cruel stuff like so many men have done and not minding when I cried and cried over losing my babies. When I was pregnant she wouldn't let me take a bath alone, she would scratch at the door til I let her in so she could check I was OK. I had to have baths with the door open from then on...

I have spent most of the last 15 years alone, a succession of rubbish relationships meant it was just me and my two girlies. I am sorry for going on and on, I don't even know if this makes sense but i am sobbing so much I can't see properly. Life feels empty, I still have her sister Chi Chi and a rescue dog called Betty but the balance in the house is wrong. Two bowls instead of three, one less dog bed, I am sure you know what I mean. My partner has been really good but I feel I am being such a burden to him. He doesn't really understand and only knew her for just over a year, though he did love her. I am in such a mess, I feel dead inside and my heart is broken. Thank you for reading this, just typing it helps. Any advice as to what to do to stop the pain, or when it gets better would be so appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this everyone and I am sorry for your losses too. Hal, I read all your posts and was in bits, you wrote so beautifully and I could totally relate to what you went through. Thank you once again - meens xx

[meens]

 Marilyn.doc ( 41.5K ) Number of downloads: 49
Hi everyone

I was very brave and just checked out some pics of the dogs - thought I would post this one of my sweet angel Marilyn. This was taken in May 2006, by my friend's pond. Later that day she was sunbathing right by the edge and I said, Boo you'll fall in sweety, you're right by the edge! And yes, a gentle 'plop' and she fell in! We fished her out and she was fine. A funny memory but makes me cry all the same. I don't have many of her on her own as she and her sister Chi and our rescue Betty were a little gang, but if anyone would like me to post anymore please say.

I haven't worked out yet how to paste the pic into my posting, or to set it as my avatar pic. Any advice would be appreciated thank you.

[Omarmommy]

 Marilyn.doc ( 41.5K ) Number of downloads: 49
Hi everyone

I was very brave and just checked out some pics of the dogs - thought I would post this one of my sweet angel Marilyn. This was taken in May 2006, by my friend's pond. Later that day she was sunbathing right by the edge and I said, Boo you'll fall in sweety, you're right by the edge! And yes, a gentle 'plop' and she fell in! We fished her out and she was fine. A funny memory but makes me cry all the same. I don't have many of her on her own as she and her sister Chi and our rescue Betty were a little gang, but if anyone would like me to post anymore please say.

I haven't worked out yet how to paste the pic into my posting, or to set it as my avatar pic. Any advice would be appreciated thank you.

Meens-She was BEAUTIFUL! I love this picture of Marilyn. I love seeing pictures of everyone's furbabies. It gives me a little peace to see them all healthy. Just like they are now in heaven. I would love to see more. Even if it's with her 'gang'.

Take care. We are all in this together. Sometimes I feel like I'm a pain...with my whinning. But I always get such kind words, it brings me back to reality that there really are others out there with the same pain as me.

Omarmommy
Marcie

[meens]

Meens-She was BEAUTIFUL! I love this picture of Marilyn. I love seeing pictures of everyone's furbabies. It gives me a little peace to see them all healthy. Just like they are now in heaven. I would love to see more. Even if it's with her 'gang'.

Take care. We are all in this together. Sometimes I feel like I'm a pain...with my whinning. But I always get such kind words, it brings me back to reality that there really are others out there with the same pain as me.

Omarmommy
Marcie

Oh thank you Marcie - I was so touched that you thought she was beautiful. I feel very proud to have had her in my life although I miss her so bad it hurts. I look at the photos and think, how can she be gone, she's here looking back at me.

Thank you for your lovely words. I will post some more pics later today.

I don't ever think anyone on here is whining. I am so grateful for this place we can all come to and share each others pain and loss and memories, when no one else understands. The world can seem an empty unloving place but coming here where people are warm and caring gives me a little bit of strength.

Take care and remember you are not alone

meens x