My Chihuahua Marilyn, I miss her so much Options

[meens]

Hello there

I hope no one minds me posting, I am from the UK so I don't know what time this will reach people in the States. I have read all the posts on here since last Monday, when I had to put my baby girl to sleep. I have cried along with you and have only just got the courage to post something myself. Putting her to sleep was the hardest thing I have had to do in my life, and I have been through some tough times. I can't stop crying and I feel so alone. Marilyn was one of two sister chis that I have had since they were weeks old. She was 15, would have been 16 on 1 October. She was beautiful, the sweetest and most caring little dog. She was with me through relationship break ups, several house moves because of them and horrible neighbours. In 2005 I lost two babies, in January and July. Marilyn would lie on my tummy when I was pregnant, kissed my tears away when I was sad and was always, always there. Never judging, never saying cruel stuff like so many men have done and not minding when I cried and cried over losing my babies. When I was pregnant she wouldn't let me take a bath alone, she would scratch at the door til I let her in so she could check I was OK. I had to have baths with the door open from then on...

I have spent most of the last 15 years alone, a succession of rubbish relationships meant it was just me and my two girlies. I am sorry for going on and on, I don't even know if this makes sense but i am sobbing so much I can't see properly. Life feels empty, I still have her sister Chi Chi and a rescue dog called Betty but the balance in the house is wrong. Two bowls instead of three, one less dog bed, I am sure you know what I mean. My partner has been really good but I feel I am being such a burden to him. He doesn't really understand and only knew her for just over a year, though he did love her. I am in such a mess, I feel dead inside and my heart is broken. Thank you for reading this, just typing it helps. Any advice as to what to do to stop the pain, or when it gets better would be so appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this everyone and I am sorry for your losses too. Hal, I read all your posts and was in bits, you wrote so beautifully and I could totally relate to what you went through. Thank you once again - meens xx

[Steph]

Hi Meens, I'm so sorry for for losses. Your Marilyn sounds like such a sweetie.

My dogs were like my kids to me, since I am physically unable to have children. I just had to put my beloved golden retriever to sleep July 25th. I lost my border collie four years ago. Now, through cir%%stances of life, I cannot have another for quite some time. It's just unbearable.

This site does help a lot, so come here and post. Like you, I have a partner who really isn't that affected by losing the dog. Some people just aren't pet people I guess.

BTW - I'm not in the States myself either. I'm a Cannuck! :-)

[meens]

Hi Meens, I'm so sorry for for losses. Your Marilyn sounds like such a sweetie.

My dogs were like my kids to me, since I am physically unable to have children. I just had to put my beloved golden retriever to sleep July 25th. I lost my border collie four years ago. Now, through cir%%stances of life, I cannot have another for quite some time. It's just unbearable.

This site does help a lot, so come here and post. Like you, I have a partner who really isn't that affected by losing the dog. Some people just aren't pet people I guess.

BTW - I'm not in the States myself either. I'm a Cannuck! :-)

Dear Steph

I am so sorry for your losses.

I know exactly what you mean about dogs being like kids to you, I went through two miscarriages in 2005. I was very poorly many years prior to that and the doctor said I would might conceive OK but struggle to carry full term. His words came back to haunt me. So my dogs were like my kids to me too, they are my babies and I don't care that people with children don't understand or think I'm stupid. I know many people (not here obviously) are thinking "she was just a dog" but she was more than that to me, as yours were to you. I only wish people were as loving, caring and permanently so as our animals are to us.

I googled Cannuck - forgive my ignorance. Does that mean Canada? We have a Cannock in Staffordshire in the UK but I don't think you mean that!

Thank you for your words, they have helped me so much x