Lost The Love Of My Life, ZOE Options

[Deanna]

HELLO PET LOVERS
I am new to this ~ I posted this story on the "new beginning" forum instead of the death & dying pet support forum.
Although, there were a few who noticed and helped me tremendously, especially, Goliath, Myhrtisbrkn, Sissycat & Jorge.
Thanks to you guys, I'm able to function another day, although my heart hurts ...I miss my lil' punkin' pie, Zoe.

I AM HURTING TO WHERE IT'S ALMOST UNBEARABLE. I NEED SOME SUPPORT ON HOW TO DEAL WITH MY LOSS.

I GREW UP WITH NO DESIRE TO HAVE A PET OF ANY KIND, HOWEVER, TWO YEARS AGO, A CO-WORKER OFFERED ME THE MOST ADORABLE WESTIE (PUPPY) THAT I HAD EVER SEEN. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, I FELL COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH THIS DOG (NAMED ZOE), I LOVED HER MORE THAN ANYONE IN MY LIFE ...SHE WAS MY SHADOW. SHE SLEPT WITH ME, WOKE UP WITH ME, WE PLAYED TOGETHER IN THE MORNINGS IN BETWEEN ME TRYING TO GET MYSELF READY FOR WORK, I LIVE CLOSE TO WORK, I'D COME HOME AND PLAY AND WE'D HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER ...I CAME HOME TO HER AFTER WORK SEEING HER JUMPING UP N' DOWN AT MY FRONT DOOR...ONCE I GOT IN...SHE JUMPED UP AND DOWN ON MY LEG UNTIL I PICKED HER UP (IN WHICH I DID ALMOST IMMEDIATELY), GAVE HER KISSES, RUBBING HER BACK AS SHE LICKED MY FACE. WE BOTH FELT THE LOVE AND AFFECTION FOR EACH OTHER ALL DAY EVERY DAY. AFTER DINNER, SHE GAVE ME "THE LOOK" THAT IT WAS TIME FOR OUR EVENING WALK. AFTER OUR WALK WE WOULD COME HOME AND RELAX AND PLAY UNTIL IT WAS TIME TO GO TO BED TO WAKE UP TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. I NEED TO MENTION, I HAVE A LOVING HUSBAND AND TWO KIDS, THAT ADORED ZOE AS WELL, BUT NOTHING LIKE I DID. I WAS GUILTY OF GIVING ZOE MORE AFFECTION THAN TO THEM, BUT THEY UNDERSTOOD, THEY KNEW I WAS ATE UP WITH HER.

WELL, ON LAST THURSDAY (JUNE 12TH) OF ALL DAYS ...(MY BIRTHDAY)...ZOE AND I WERE HEADED INTO THE HOUSE AFTER OUR WALK, ( I ALWAYS UNCLIP HER LEASH ONCE WE'RE ON THE PORCH) ... MY NEIGHBOR HOLLORED AT ME THAT SHE NEEDED TO TALK. ZOE AND I WALKED OVER TO HER PORCH...ZOE ALWAYS WOULD STAY IN OUR YARD AND SHE WOULD FOLLOW ME IF I WALKED OVER TO MY NEIGHBOR ...HOWEVER, ZOE SPOTTED A SMALL RABBIT HOPPING IN THE NEXT YARD AND MADE A MAD DASH TO CATCH IT, RUNNING INTO THE STREET AND SHE GOT RUN OVER, SHE WAS KILLED INSTANTLY. I RAN OUT TO THE STREET, PICKED HER UP, LOOKING INTO HER FACE, SAYING HER NAME OVER AND OVER AND KISSING HER, PLEASE DON'T GO...BUT SHE WAS GONE. FROM THAT MOMENT, I CAN'T SLEEP, EAT, OR BARELY FUNCTION TO GO ON WITH MY NORMAL DAILY ROUTINE. MY FAMILY THINKS I SHOULD BE OVER THE DEVASTATION BUT THE ACCIDENT RUNS THROUGH MY MIND A HUNDRED TIMES A DAY. I HAVE ACCEPTED SHES PASSED, WE BURIED HER IN THE BACK YARD, I HAVE HER A BEAUTIFUL MEMORIAL STONE AND FLOWERS WITH HER PICTURE. I LOOK OUT MY WINDOWS OF MY HOUSE AND SEE HER BURIAL SPOT AND IT JUST KILLS ME. SHE WAS SO SPECIAL IN MY LIFE AND I KNOW THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER ZOE. I MISS HER SOOOOO MUCH, I AM CONTINUOUSLY LOOKING FOR HER TO COME AROUND THE CORNER OF ANY ROOM. PULLING UP IN MY DRIVEWAY FROM WORK IS THE ABSOLUTE HARDEST THING NOT SEEING HER ADORABLE LITTLE FACE AT THE DOOR.

I FOUND THIS WEBSITE TO POSSIBLY GET SOME SUPPORT, I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY.
THANKS IN ADVANCE

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[LoveThem]

I love your picture and can certainly understand how you miss this adorable sweetheart so very much. Zoe looks very very huggable.
Pictures are so precious. We don't always realize when we take them...how very much they will mean someday...and they do.

Pictures and memories....as we remember the good memories associated with the pictures, at least for that moment we can feel good inside....reliving as best we can that time.

We do love them forever and miss them forever and hold them in our hearts forever.

All we can do for each other is simply.....a hug...so here is a bunch of them for you.

HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG..................and so on to fill the page......cause we can never get enough hugs.

Hugs that say I know how you feel. I miss my baby also.

[goliath]

Your pictures of Zoe are absolutely angelic. I especially love the one where she is napping on the couch. These are the sweet memories they leave us when they pass on.

Journaling is such great therapy too. When Goliath & Gidget were just puppies I started a scrapbook entitled "For the Love of Goliath & Gidget." The reason I started it was because I knew one day they would leave me to go to Heaven. In each picture I added what it was that was going on during that special time. When Goliath passed away this last November, I was soooooooo glad that I had d o c u m e n t e d his life along with pictures in a love that could never end. I still keep a journal because it helps me to really get all of my feelings out.

Zoe's love and fond memories will forever be in your heart. These are her gifts to you Deanna.

Much love with many warm hugs,
Beth

[Deanna]

Your pictures of Zoe are absolutely angelic. I especially love the one where she is napping on the couch. These are the sweet memories they leave us when they pass on.

Journaling is such great therapy too. When Goliath & Gidget were just puppies I started a scrapbook entitled "For the Love of Goliath & Gidget." The reason I started it was because I knew one day they would leave me to go to Heaven. In each picture I added what it was that was going on during that special time. When Goliath passed away this last November, I was soooooooo glad that I had do%%ented his life along with pictures in a love that could never end. I still keep a journal because it helps me to really get all of my feelings out.

Zoe's love and fond memories will forever be in your heart. These are her gifts to you Deanna.

Much love with many warm hugs,
Beth

Dear Goliath,
Thank you (again), this time for the compliments on my pictures of Zoe and your continuing support. I do adore the pictures I have of Zoe, I am so glad I was picture crazy for her. I am now reflecting on the memories I have of Zoe with me and my family. Each of my family members will comment of, "I miss Zoe" or "Zoe really did bring alot of love to this family" or "It sure is awful quiet around here, she was a great addition to the family, etc.

Yes, the journal has been great for me to express feelings. That was a great idea...starting a scrapbook when your babies are puppies. I remember this, in the future, if and when my heart allows me to love another fur kid. I can't imagine getting a new baby any time soon.


Zoe left me something some gifts I never realized that's what they were, until she was gone. She taught me sooo many positive and happy things. I was guilty of taking her for granted, but she's taught me, life is short and that we need to make the most of every day. Cherish every moment.

Goliath, you have been the root of my healing and I have began to grow (just alil') to try and make some sense out of this terrible tradegy in my life and learn to cope and heal from it.
I can't thank you enough. I now feel, somewhat, selfish on these forums, (mostly) commenting and replying on my forum, however, it was all that was on my mind, really couldn't focus of much of anything else.
Yourself, Myhrtisbrkn, LoveThem, AngelOneCare, Candy'sDad, Buster and Jorge, (I know there's more) have helped me so much, my heart goes out to all of you with your losses. I know I haven't replied to all of you in your topics when I needed to, but through out this terrible heartache ...you have all been in my prayers.

Hugs to all of your and our fur kids ~ they will always remain in our hearts!
Deanna
**Zoe ~ Forever In My Heart**

[goliath]

Yes, the journal has been great for me to express feelings. That was a great idea...starting a scrapbook when your babies are puppies. I remember this, in the future, if and when my heart allows me to love another fur kid. I can't imagine getting a new baby any time soon.

If and when you decide to bring a new addition into your family you will know. Somehow I can't imagine your heart not ever loving another furbaby again. People like us are destined to love these special loving creatures who teach us so much.
Your heart Deanna is more than full because Zoe is there. When two loving hearts become one they can never separate, not even in death. Sharing that love assures Zoe's memories will always bring sunshine into your life. Without Zoe's death you would never have had the pleasure of knowing her nor would you have learned the lessons of love and learning she brought you as your gift.

A dear friend of mine recently gave me the book, ANGEL DOGS by Allen & Linda Anderson. Each night I read a chapter or two while Browser lays on my chest just before going to sleep. The stories are so comforting and filled with heart healing messages. Each story is only 2 or 3 pages long but they are packed with emotional healing verses of gratitude and experiences of those who truly love their dogs. Basically the book focuses on the important lessons we can learn from our doggieloves and how they lead us spiritually. This book will take you on an amazing journey Deanna and I hope you will read it.

May God bless you always and shower you with Zoe's love.


Many warm hugs filled with love,
Beth

[Deanna]

If and when you decide to bring a new addition into your family you will know. Somehow I can't imagine your heart not ever loving another furbaby again. People like us are destined to love these special loving creatures who teach us so much.
Your heart Deanna is more than full because Zoe is there. When two loving hearts become one they can never separate, not even in death. Sharing that love assures Zoe's memories will always bring sunshine into your life. Without Zoe's death you would never have had the pleasure of knowing her nor would you have learned the lessons of love and learning she brought you as your gift.

A dear friend of mine recently gave me the book, ANGEL DOGS by Allen & Linda Anderson. Each night I read a chapter or two while Browser lays on my chest just before going to sleep. The stories are so comforting and filled with heart healing messages. Each story is only 2 or 3 pages long but they are packed with emotional healing verses of gratitude and experiences of those who truly love their dogs. Basically the book focuses on the important lessons we can learn from our doggieloves and how they lead us spiritually. This book will take you on an amazing journey Deanna and I hope you will read it.

May God bless you always and shower you with Zoe's love.


Many warm hugs filled with love,
Beth

**** Just wanted to let you know, I went online to amazon.com and ordered the book Angel Dogs. I am anxiously waiting to get it in the mail. It got great reviews. Thanks for the suggestion.
Have a peaceful night with Browser ... talk to you later Beth
Deanna