No Chance To Say Goodbye Options

[LS Support]

my cat Funky died at the vet yesterday while coming out of anathesia from a very routine procedure, he was just over a year old. i didnt want to take him to the vet, but his inner ear had been infected for a while (a polyp, we were to find out yesterday) and the therapy needed to be done. knowing this was a common procedure, i didnt think much about it. when i heard the vet (my ex-wife) crying on the other end, my first thoughts were that one of my kids was in trouble. then she said the words no owner wants to hear: your pet died.

i lost it pretty hard yesterday, who says men dont cry? i did for hours in bed while listening to the rain and thunder outside. he was a sturdy cat, healthy in every other way besides that damn ear. he and i had a good play session the night prior to the procedure, but in the morning i unceremoniously picked him up and stuffed him into the carrier for his final ride. if i would have known i would not see him again, i would have squeezed him til he squeaked. but that was not the case, and i didnt have a chance to say goodbye. thats what hurts the most.

i finally dragged myself out of bed to half eat some dinner. then turned on the tv to block out the sadness when, wouldnt you know, the national ASPCA commercial with sara mclaughlin singing 'in the arms of an angel' came on. well dear friend, i lost it again.

today, i am cried out. the shock has subsided but the pain still remains. i would love to stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head again today, but work and the world has different plans for me. the house already feels empty, tho the kitty was small he was part of my every day routines. i missed him chasing me down the stairs to my office to get fed this morrning. so sad. worst part yet to come, i have to face telling my daughter on friday evening when i pick her up from a week at camp. she loved the little guy, its not going to be pretty.

so though i may not respond to very many posts anymore, seeing the pain day after day has wore me thin, i do understand how you feel. i have been through the pain, and now go through the pain again.

RIP Funkyman, your time came much too soon.

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[LoveThem]

Thinking of many of the things you have said here...I looked through my papers for the thoughts people who have lost a pet have said..that I want to remember and read again. When you mentioned about maybe not being meant to have one of these babies in your life, I thought of this one:

One can ask with the depth of pain we go through WHY do we allow ourselves to become so attached to pets? All one has to do is think of the tremendous amount of unconditional love we get from them and then we can ask WHY wouldn't we?

You know you have made a difference in the lives of your furbabies..whether their time allowed is long or short. I believe the pain is more intense when the time is short (although I am never sure it can be more intense). It hurts so much you start questioning yourself but that is the pain talking..it is not how you really feel.

I have always felt and still do that when I commit to a furbaby, I can guarantee them I will do my best to take care of them and love them for whatever time is given to us. I cannot protect them from everything but I sure will do my best. And then I can feel..this is one baby who will not be put down because they were unwanted, will not be abused for someone's amusement, will not starve because they have no home or are unwanted. So many of these sweethearts are treated so cruelly (a bag of kittens being tossed onto the freeway). We read about such acts much too often.

So no matter how long or how short we are allowed to keep them safe and healthy...at least for that time....we both had the best of each other...and formed a loving bond that will be part of us forever.

I don't know why they are taken away. Sometimes I see that I do open my home and heart to another..cause I know there are so many waiting..and maybe that is why they are taken..cause someone else needs us more. I can't accept losing them for no reason or just fate being cruel.
It is just something we will never understand and even though it helps me to believe that there is a time they must go and when it comes, we cannot prevent it....that doesn't lessen any of the pain or grieving for their loss but it does keep me from adding guilt to the pain..which is like pouring gasoline on a fire.

You know we know your pain, Mark. You know you are not alone with your grief. You created this forum for which so many here are grateful....... for through reading the stories here and
helping each other through the pain we all feel....eventually we stop being overwhelmed by it all and many will open their homes and hearts again to another furbaby because with no population control...there are always many waiting to be found by the special people who really care about them. You are one of the special people and always will be. And while your furbabies brought something special into your life......in turn, you were their life and they wouldn't trade any of their time with us anymore than we would trade our time with them.. to avoid life's unfairness.

I wish you peace and healing and a big HUG...