Lost The Love Of My Life, ZOE Options

[Deanna]

HELLO PET LOVERS
I am new to this ~ I posted this story on the "new beginning" forum instead of the death & dying pet support forum.
Although, there were a few who noticed and helped me tremendously, especially, Goliath, Myhrtisbrkn, Sissycat & Jorge.
Thanks to you guys, I'm able to function another day, although my heart hurts ...I miss my lil' punkin' pie, Zoe.

I AM HURTING TO WHERE IT'S ALMOST UNBEARABLE. I NEED SOME SUPPORT ON HOW TO DEAL WITH MY LOSS.

I GREW UP WITH NO DESIRE TO HAVE A PET OF ANY KIND, HOWEVER, TWO YEARS AGO, A CO-WORKER OFFERED ME THE MOST ADORABLE WESTIE (PUPPY) THAT I HAD EVER SEEN. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, I FELL COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH THIS DOG (NAMED ZOE), I LOVED HER MORE THAN ANYONE IN MY LIFE ...SHE WAS MY SHADOW. SHE SLEPT WITH ME, WOKE UP WITH ME, WE PLAYED TOGETHER IN THE MORNINGS IN BETWEEN ME TRYING TO GET MYSELF READY FOR WORK, I LIVE CLOSE TO WORK, I'D COME HOME AND PLAY AND WE'D HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER ...I CAME HOME TO HER AFTER WORK SEEING HER JUMPING UP N' DOWN AT MY FRONT DOOR...ONCE I GOT IN...SHE JUMPED UP AND DOWN ON MY LEG UNTIL I PICKED HER UP (IN WHICH I DID ALMOST IMMEDIATELY), GAVE HER KISSES, RUBBING HER BACK AS SHE LICKED MY FACE. WE BOTH FELT THE LOVE AND AFFECTION FOR EACH OTHER ALL DAY EVERY DAY. AFTER DINNER, SHE GAVE ME "THE LOOK" THAT IT WAS TIME FOR OUR EVENING WALK. AFTER OUR WALK WE WOULD COME HOME AND RELAX AND PLAY UNTIL IT WAS TIME TO GO TO BED TO WAKE UP TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. I NEED TO MENTION, I HAVE A LOVING HUSBAND AND TWO KIDS, THAT ADORED ZOE AS WELL, BUT NOTHING LIKE I DID. I WAS GUILTY OF GIVING ZOE MORE AFFECTION THAN TO THEM, BUT THEY UNDERSTOOD, THEY KNEW I WAS ATE UP WITH HER.

WELL, ON LAST THURSDAY (JUNE 12TH) OF ALL DAYS ...(MY BIRTHDAY)...ZOE AND I WERE HEADED INTO THE HOUSE AFTER OUR WALK, ( I ALWAYS UNCLIP HER LEASH ONCE WE'RE ON THE PORCH) ... MY NEIGHBOR HOLLORED AT ME THAT SHE NEEDED TO TALK. ZOE AND I WALKED OVER TO HER PORCH...ZOE ALWAYS WOULD STAY IN OUR YARD AND SHE WOULD FOLLOW ME IF I WALKED OVER TO MY NEIGHBOR ...HOWEVER, ZOE SPOTTED A SMALL RABBIT HOPPING IN THE NEXT YARD AND MADE A MAD DASH TO CATCH IT, RUNNING INTO THE STREET AND SHE GOT RUN OVER, SHE WAS KILLED INSTANTLY. I RAN OUT TO THE STREET, PICKED HER UP, LOOKING INTO HER FACE, SAYING HER NAME OVER AND OVER AND KISSING HER, PLEASE DON'T GO...BUT SHE WAS GONE. FROM THAT MOMENT, I CAN'T SLEEP, EAT, OR BARELY FUNCTION TO GO ON WITH MY NORMAL DAILY ROUTINE. MY FAMILY THINKS I SHOULD BE OVER THE DEVASTATION BUT THE ACCIDENT RUNS THROUGH MY MIND A HUNDRED TIMES A DAY. I HAVE ACCEPTED SHES PASSED, WE BURIED HER IN THE BACK YARD, I HAVE HER A BEAUTIFUL MEMORIAL STONE AND FLOWERS WITH HER PICTURE. I LOOK OUT MY WINDOWS OF MY HOUSE AND SEE HER BURIAL SPOT AND IT JUST KILLS ME. SHE WAS SO SPECIAL IN MY LIFE AND I KNOW THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER ZOE. I MISS HER SOOOOO MUCH, I AM CONTINUOUSLY LOOKING FOR HER TO COME AROUND THE CORNER OF ANY ROOM. PULLING UP IN MY DRIVEWAY FROM WORK IS THE ABSOLUTE HARDEST THING NOT SEEING HER ADORABLE LITTLE FACE AT THE DOOR.

I FOUND THIS WEBSITE TO POSSIBLY GET SOME SUPPORT, I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY.
THANKS IN ADVANCE

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[LoveThem]

Okay..that picture napping on the picture got to me....can anyone look more precious than that?
I don't think so.

I think your idea of a journal is great! What a wonderful outlet..at a time it is so needed.

You really do have some great pictures of Zoe and even though all of us who have also lost our sweethearts can truly understand the pain, the grieving, the missing, all of it....when you post a picture of Zoe and we can look into those beautiful eyes that are definitely focused on the picture taker .....we can actually see what you are remembering about her....and just how very very special she is and always will be.

Hugs to you and Zoe. She may be an angel now but even angels need hugs, don't they?

[Deanna]

Okay..that picture napping on the picture got to me....can anyone look more precious than that?
I don't think so.

I think your idea of a journal is great! What a wonderful outlet..at a time it is so needed.

You really do have some great pictures of Zoe and even though all of us who have also lost our sweethearts can truly understand the pain, the grieving, the missing, all of it....when you post a picture of Zoe and we can look into those beautiful eyes that are definitely focused on the picture taker .....we can actually see what you are remembering about her....and just how very very special she is and always will be.

Hugs to you and Zoe. She may be an angel now but even angels need hugs, don't they?

LoveThem,
I though the journal would help too, and it has.

Thanks so much for the nice compliments on pictures I took of Zoe, my husband teased me when he got me a digital camera for Christmas ~ in between every picture I took of my family ~ was a picture of Zoe. I'm really glad I took them now. I reflect back on them quite a bit. I have several videos that I recorded on the camera, as well. However, I get upset when I watch them now ....although, I know there will be a day I will be able to watch and ENJOY them. She was definately very very special to me.

I can't thank you enough, you are a TREMENDOUS help. Would love to hear stories from you during your time of healing. Look forward to them.
Much Love,
Deanna